By Dr. Colleen Long, PsyD
View Dr. Long's Profile
The "B" in my B.A.L.A.N.C.E model stands for "benevolence." This term refers to the act of thinking or doing in accordance with needs of others. Many studies have demonstrated that those that are depressed tend to be more focused on self, continuously monitoring their thoughts, feelings, and worries. While those that are the happiest among us tend to engage in more others-focused behavior.
Last night, I came across the following article, by Lisa Farino for MSN Health & Fitness, to underscore the importance of benevolence in one's life.
Do Good, Feel Good
Important* It is always a good idea to ask yourself why you are giving, why you are sharing. If the act is designed to make you feel better about yourself, to control the other person down the road, done out of guilt, or given to get approval- think twice.
When we reap the true rewards of giving, we are doing it when it is sometimes uncomfortable, painful, or against our very nature. We are going out of our way and genuinely thinking about the needs of the other person vs. what we might get noticed for, or how we might look better in another's eyes.
This week, try and take one day and devote it to the needs of others. Maybe you get a LinkedIn message that someone is looking for a job. Maybe you hear that a friend just got out of a relationship and is having a hard time coping. Maybe its the third time in a row you've done the dishes in your household, and you do it again simply because you know your spouse is over-worked this month. Whatever your situation, you can always serve the needs of others by simply listening at a deeper level.
Dr. Colleen Long is the author of “Happiness in B.A.L.A.N.C.E,” and practices in the Los Angeles area under the supervision of Dr. Richard Oelberger (PSY22186) . Dr. Long works mainly from a positive psychology framework as it applies to addiction, depression, relationships, body image and weight loss. Her website can be found at www.DrColleenLong.com. All public speaking/media event requests handled through FreudTV (info@FreudTV.com).
