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July 26, 2014
by Christie Hunter

backto school stresses for moms howto manage from summerto schedules

Back to School Stresses For Moms: How to Manage From Summer to Schedules

July 26, 2014 04:55 by Christie Hunter  [About the Author]

backto school stresses for moms howto manage from summerto schedules
Summer vacations are a time for fun and frolic for the young ones, giving them a reprieve from their education, making space for them to unwind and relax. However, this time is all the more hectic for mothers who have to make sure that their young ones also use this time constructively. Many concerned mothers enroll their children in summer camps for the duration of summer. [More]

September 2, 2013
by Ashley Marie

university

Time Manage Today, Walk the Stage Tomorrow

September 2, 2013 16:05 by Ashley Marie  [About the Author]

university
You walked the stage on the day of your high school graduation. But will you do it this time around? Though many bright-eyed university students walk onto campus filled with hopes dreams, not all of them leave with a degree. The university dropout rate is 16% in Canada.[1] In the United States, the situation is even worse: a mere 53% of American students actually walk the stage.[2] There are many challenges that make university life difficult, as outlined in Back to School Series: Are you Ready? Unfortunately for some, the academic challenges of university education simply become too overwhelming. Manage Your Time to Manage Your Stress A major obstacle to high scholastic achievement is poor time management. Personally, this was a lesson I had to learn firsthand during my first final exam. I had paid attention in lectures and done most of the readings, but I had not sufficiently prepared myself in the weeks and months leading up to the exam. So, at 1am on the eve of my assessment, I called my parents only to sob on the other end in utter fear of failing. I hardly slept that night. The next day, I dragged myself out of bed and walked down to the examination hall with one eye twitching from lack of sleep. I sat down in a room with hundreds of worried students, and then hurriedly scribbled my answer to the first question. Those three hours were grueling, and all I could think was: “I wish I had studied harder.” Thankfully, I decided that I did not enjoy the end result of my deliberate procrastination. Poor time management had made me into a tired, grumpy, and malfunctioning zombie with hazy thoughts and poor retention skills. After that stressful episode, I turned for help by setting up an appointment with an academic counselor. I also attended a variety of free sessions on how to time manage, study effectively, and manage stress. Combined, they improved my study habits in a way that was tailored to my personality, including my strengths and weaknesses as a student. Thankfully, you do not have to subject yourself to the same level of anxiety and stress that I experienced. Procrastination: The Road to Anxiety According to Palmer and Puri, there is a relationship between the passing of time and your level of stress or anxiety.[3] The closer you are to a deadline for an assignment or the day of an exam, the more likely you are to feel stressed. It follows that the earlier you begin working on an assignment or studying for an exam, the less stressed you will feel and the better you will be able to focus. As soon as you get your course syllabus, draft a study plan that covers all of the readings, assignments, and exams that you will have during the upcoming academic year. Academic Counseling Even better, revise your study plan with an academic counselor – and do not procrastinate on this one. He or she likely has a good understanding of which courses will be more demanding. This can help you achieve a balanced work distribution. Your academic counselor can also help you understand how to study for each course. For instance, a course in history will likely require a heavy amount of readings, while a course in mathematics will probably involve a great deal of practical exercises. These different focuses require different study skills. If you understand what is expected of you, you will also know how to balance your study time and free time. But if you procrastinate, you will probably end up having loads of free time for months and then a combination of stress headaches, cold sweats, and stressful all-nighters at the library - not a great way to end the year. Eat a Frog for Breakfast One of the best words of wisdom I received from my academic counselor was to “eat a frog for breakfast.” The meaning of this saying is twofold. Firstly, do not procrastinate your most challenging work; do your most difficult studying first and then turn your focus to easier tasks or courses. Secondly, work hard and then enjoy your free time – not the other way around. You can only be productive if you eliminate distractions, as argued by Forsyth.[4] To perform well, you need to focus. And this will likely involve studying in an environment – be it a library, a café, a park, among others – where you are not distracted by your fun and gregarious roommate, where you won’t waste your time watching the latest episode of your favourite TV show, and where you won’t be tempted to throw everything aside for a night out with your friends. Learn what your distractions are, as well as when to avoid them and when to enjoy them. Perfectionism Isn’t Perfect Another tendency for some students is to try to do everything perfectly. But this can also become an obstacle to proper time management.[5] Ask your professor or teaching assistant what you need to do to achieve high marks on your exam or assignment. You do not need to read every word of Plato’s The Republic if there will only be one question on the topic. You also do not need to discover the cure for cancer prior to your biology exam. Be reasonable with the amount of time that you devote to each assignment or to studying. You will then discover that you can actually enjoy your Friday night off. Your professors do not expect you to become the next Shakespeare or the next Einstein. You can aim high without going overboard. Time is Not Your Enemy University can be a challenging phase for many students. But you do not need to let poor time management get in the way of a brilliant academic career. Manage your time, and you will find the time to both succeed academically and delight in all the excitement of university life. And if you’re not sure how to plan your studying, then take the time to meet your academic counselor. [1] Postsecondary Status of Young Adults. 2005. Statistics Canada. [online] Available at: <http://www.statcan.gc.ca/pub/81-595-m/2008070/t/6000011-eng.htm> [2] Porter, E. 2013. Dropping out of college, and paying the price. The New York Times. [online] Available at: <http://www.nytimes.com/2013/06/26/business/economy/dropping-out-of-college-and-paying-the-price.html?pagewanted=all&_r=0> [3] Palmer, S., and Puri, A. 2006. Coping with Stress at University: A Survival Guide. London: SAGE Publications. [4] Forsyth, P. 2013. Successful Time Management. London: Kogan. [5] Ibid.

August 31, 2013
by Christie Hunter

father son reading ban

Homeschooling And Armed Police Raids.

August 31, 2013 17:44 by Christie Hunter  [About the Author]

father son reading ban
Would you call it “progress” if our society outlawed homeschooling under the threat of having licensed social workers and police raid your home and forcibly take your children away? This is not only possible in some countries in Europe, but has just actually happened. We were disturbed to read of a recent event in Germany where a home was raided with a battering ram, a team of armed police, special agents and social workers, all because the parents were simply homeschooling their children. No reports of neglect or abuse were made. And what is equally concerning to us is that social workers were involved. At what point would a licensed therapist join forces with the state, to separate children from their parents all because of how they choose to educate their children? Has the world of professional therapy lost its way? For readers who are not familiar with the story, you can find it here: http://hslda.org/hs/international/Germany/201308300.asp?src=slide&slide=Wunderlich_map_Aug_30_2013&pos=1 and here: http://dailycaller.com/2013/08/31/the-perils-of-homeschooling-german-police-storm-home-seize-four-children/ Now granted, we don’t know all the details of this, and we expect more details to arise, but the premise of it is frightening and worth discussing since homeschooling is illegal in Germany and considered criminal. One might first make the counter-argument that homeschooling in Germany is illegal, and because of that, these parents were criminals, and thus removing their children by force was appropriate and moral. So here is the question: does the fact that there is a law in Germany that bans homeschooling justify a raid on a home and taking children away by force? There was a time in American history where it was illegal for a slave to escape a master. Do not be so quick to use the “law” as your highest moral authority. Some laws themselves are a violation of human rights. What if there was a law that mandated what kind of religion you were allowed to believe? Would you be “ok” in breaking a law like this? We believe every parent should have the right to educate their children. The idea that somehow the state run school system is superior to all other forms of education for children is irrational and dangerous. Giving the state full control over our children is not progressive, it does not represent societal evolution, but in our view, it represents societal devolution. One could call it progress, for sure, but in the wrong direction. Homeschooling And Human Rights Theravive will take an active stand to protect the rights of parents to make choices about the education of their children, and we sincerely hope the therapy community in the United States and Canada does not reach a point where they would consider it “healthy” to rip children away from their parents simply because the parents decided to educate their children at home. We are not saying the public school system is bad, in fact, we cherish the great teachers in our public school system and the awesome things they do for our children. But I think we all can agree there are also flaws in our public school system. There are some places where the public school system is failing our kids. And a parent who has time and resources available to supplement their children’s education should not just be allowed to do so, but encouraged to do so. Stripping choice in education from parents is not healthy, neither for a society, nor for families, and stands against freedom and human rights. Having minimum standards for homeschooling is certainly acceptable. We feel that if a parent chooses to homeschool a child, that there should be some accountability- some form of assessment to ensure the child is receiving an adequate education. But we do not support the notion that a parent has no choice whatsoever. We do not support the notion of making it universally illegal under threat of the state beating down your door and taking away your kids. And even worse, a clinical social worker who would side with the state in ripping children from their parents over homeschooling, thinking that somehow this is “healthy” for the children, to us is frightening. If there are no formal ethics regarding such an act, there should be. “But homeschooling has flaws! Many kids who are homeschooled wind up uneducated.” Guess what? Many kids in the public school system wind up uneducated, from dropping out, to being fully illiterate upon graduation. And, many kids in homeschool also turn out extremely educated, more advanced than some of the best high school seniors. There is not a “universal” truth to this issue. When the public school system is broken, do we just eliminate the public school system, or try to find ways to make it better? We try to find ways to make it better. So what sense does it make to unilaterally abolish all homeschooling simply because some instances may not work well? Where public schools fail, we seek to make them better. Where homeschooling fails, we should also make it better. Parents should have rights. An all-powerful state is a scary proposition. Think carefully before you endorse the elimination of your freedom from our society. Even if you do not agree with something, that is not a reason to therefore abolish it under threat of criminal offense. “I don’t agree with it, therefore, it should be outlawed.” Is this a good philosophy for a society? A Skinnerian society where we input children into the state machine, and have a predetermined output without freethought and expressive deviance represents a horrible collapse in freedom. Education should not be a state-run assembly line, and neither should our children and families. And credentialed therapists should not participate in the destruction of families over something as basic and fundamental as the right for a parent to have a choice in the education of their own child. A therapist's heart should be about helping families long before helping a politician. Your Stand? How do you feel about this issue? Do think a state has the moral right to take children away from a parent who homeschools them? Do you think that armed police removing children by force over homeschooling is “healthy” for those children and in their best interest even though there has been no accusation of neglect or abuse? What if those children were actually highly intelligent as a result of the homeschooling and outscored their peers on tests? Would you take your children to see a therapist whom you know has been involved in an armed raid against a family who did nothing wrong, except to homeschool their children? If you knew a therapist had participated in such an act, how would you feel about that therapist helping your family through issues? If you are interested in learning more about the legal issues regarding homeschooling, please check out the Homeschool Legal Defense Association.

August 30, 2013
by Cindy Marie Hosszu

cyberbully

Protect Yourself While Online

August 30, 2013 09:00 by Cindy Marie Hosszu  [About the Author]

cyberbully
Back to School Series: Technology and the internet have changed how we communicate, how we learn, and how we take care of business. It has given us new ways to create, and experience the world around us. Unfortunately, some of the ways we have used technology to evolve are very negative. In the 2008/2009 school year, 20% of students experienced bullying by electronic means, and 28% experienced threat of violence through electronic means. [1] To protect our kids, we must be aware of cyberbulling, and how to prevent it. What Is Cyberbullying Cyberbullying is aggressive behavior that is unwanted, repeated, and involves a real or perceived imbalance in power that takes place on electronic devices or media, such as computers, cell phones, social media sites, text messages, chat, web sites, and online gaming. It is bullying between children, not adults. When adults get involved it becomes cyber-harassment, cyber-stalking, or sexual predator behavior. How Is Cyberbullying Different Than Traditional Bullying 24/7- Cyberbullying can happen any time day or night. Although most cyberbullying is accompanied by in-person bullying, it is harder to avoid because it is not something you can remove or avoid. Anonymously- Cyberbullying can be posted and distributed very quickly to a large audience, and can be hard or impossible to trace. Permanent- Once something has been posted on the internet, it is difficult to have it removed. By Proxy- Cyberbulling can be direct, or by proxy. Anyone can create a profile of the person being targeted to impersonate them and incite others. Others can then use bullying behavior because they think that the target started the behavior. It can be used as a means of punishment from parents, other kids, and even other groups. An example of cyberbullying that involves other groups is when someone posts on hate or sex sites and gives out personal contact information about the target. Effects of Cyberbullying Just like traditional bullying,(You can learn more about traditional bullying) kids who are cyberbullied are more likely to use alcohol and drugs, skip school, experience in-person bullying, are often unwilling to attend school, receive poor grades, have low self-esteem, and have more health problems.[2] Prevent Cyberbullying Parents and kids can work together to prevent cyberbulling by keeping lines of communication open. Talk to kids about what cyberbullying is and what to do if they see it. Establish rules about computer use, and keep the computer in an area of the house that has high visibility. Make rules with regard to device use so that parents are able to view all online activity and texts at any time. Reassure kids that, as a responsible parent, it is about safety, not invading their privacy. Installing software to monitor online behavior is helpful, but not as effective as monitoring personally. Know the sites your child visits, who they are with and what they do online. Follow your kids on social media, and get a feel for the web sites they use. Teach kids about online safety, such as what to post and how someone may perceive their posts and activities. Only “friend” real friends. Teach them how to know who can see and how to control who can see their posts and activities. Never share user-names, passwords, or location on any web sites. What To Do If You See Cyberbullying Never respond to or forward cyberbullying, but do keep any evidence of cyberbullying. Be sure to capture dates, times, and descriptions of cyberbullying by printing screenshots, email or text messages. You can use this record to report to the proper channels. Block the person doing the cyberbullying. Look for terms of service for the media, and follow their instruction for reporting so that they can take action. Report cyberbullying to law enforcement whenever there are threats of violence, child pornography, or explicit messages or photos, stalking, or hate crimes, or if a picture is posted of someone in a place that they would expect to be private. Let schools know about the bullying. Often times, schools cannot take action directly, but they can help by being aware of the situation. Also, some states require that schools have anti-bullying policies included in the schools handbooks so that it is contractual, and they can take action. Counseling can help both parents and kids with the stress of cyberbullying. [1] "Student Victimization in Schools." National Center for Education Statistics (NCES) Home Page, a part of the U.S. Department of Education. Institute of Education Sciences, Nov. 2011. Web. 4 Aug. 2013. [2] "What is Cyberbullying | StopBullying.gov." Home | StopBullying.gov. N.p., n.d. Web. 4 Aug. 2013. [3] http://www.dosomething.org/tipsandtools/11-facts-about-cyber-bullying

August 30, 2013
by Cindy Marie Hosszu

bully 2

This is not a rite of passage...

August 30, 2013 08:00 by Cindy Marie Hosszu  [About the Author]

bully 2
Back to School Series: Bullying and being bullied is not a part of growing up. Bullying is not “kids being kids.” Being bullied is not a rite of passage. Over time, psychologists have come to understand just how damaging bullying behaviors can be to children, and into adulthood. Kids who are bullied are more likely to experience depression, anxiety, sadness, loneliness, changes in sleep and eating patterns, loss of interest in activities previously enjoyed, health complaints, and decreased academic achievement. A small percentage of those bullied may retaliate in violent ways. Twelve of fifteen school shooting cases in the 1990’s involve those who had a history of being bullied. Kids who bully others can have troubles such as adolescent alcohol and drug abuse, vandalism, fights, drop out of school, engage in early sexual activity, criminal convictions, and can be abusive toward partners, spouses, or children later in life. Even those who witness bullying can suffer consequences such as use of tobacco, alcohol, and drugs, increased mental health problems such as depression and anxiety, and missed school. What is Bullying? Bullying is unwanted aggression that encompasses an imbalance of power, and is repeated over time.[1] It can happen anywhere, and at any time. Whether it is before, during, or after school, the playground, in transit to school, or even on the internet, it affects the person being bullied, the person engaging in bullying, and those who witness the behaviors. In 2011, 20% of 9-12 grade students were bullied nationwide. [2] Types of Bullying Verbal - Teasing, name-calling, inappropriate sexual comments, taunting, and threats to cause harm. Social Bullying - Purposely excluding, encouraging others to exclude, rumors, and public embarrassment. Physical Bullying - Hitting, spitting, tripping, taking or breaking another’s things, mean or rude hand gestures. Kids Who Use Bullying Behavior Risk – Although there is no consistent distinction for people who use bullying behaviors, some of the characteristics that are observed most in those who use bullying is that they tend to be well connected to peers, have social power, or are overly concerned with popularity. They tend to dominate or take charge of others. They can be aggressive, competitive, and easily frustrated, have less parental involvement, or issues at home. They have difficulty following rules, view violence in a positive way, think badly of others, and have friends who bully. They are not stronger physically, but have power over those they bully. Warning Signs - Those who use bullying behavior may get into physical or verbal fights. They are increasingly aggressive, and may get sent to the principal’s office or detention frequently. You may notice they have friends who bully others. You may notice unexplained belongings or money, and they tend to blame others for their problems, and don’t take responsibility for their actions. Support - While it is important not to call the person a bully, the child needs to understand that bullying behavior is wrong. Calling one a bully implies that the behavior cannot be changed, and it also fails to recognize that kids can be more than just a bully. They could have been bullied, or witnessed bullying also. While addressing bullying, model respectful behavior, because children learn by example. It is important to show kids that bullying will not be tolerated. Work with the child to understand some of the reasons they are bullying. It can be to fit in, or because they are acting out. Use consequences to teach how bullying is wrong, and build empathy to help prevent future bullying. Talk about what it is to be a good friend, the benefits of teamwork, the importance of respecting others. A project such as Civil Rights and Bullying is an example of a consequence that will build empathy. Involving the child in making amends, such as writing an apology letter, can help the child reflect on how their actions affected another. Avoid the “Three strikes, you’re out” response, and suspending. They do not reduce the behaviors. Conflict resolution and peer mediation also do not work. It is not a conflict between people of equal power who share equal blame. Group treatment for students who bully does not work because group members tend to reinforce bullying behavior. Remember to stay involved. Continue to encourage behavior that affects people in a positive way. Kids Who Are Bullied Risk – Kids who are bullied need help learning how to respond to being bullied. Like those who bully, there is no specific set of characteristics that describes who is at risk, but they are often perceived as different. They may be overweight, underweight, have different styles, or social standing. They are perceived as weak or unable to defend themselves. They can be depressed, anxious or have low self-esteem. They are usually less popular, or have fewer friends. They do not always get along with others, and may seem “annoying” or attention seeking as they struggle to fit in. Warning Signs – Sometimes there are no warning signs, and kids do not like to talk about their situation. Some things to look for are changes in the child such as unexplainable injuries, lost or broken belongings, and frequent illness. You may notice changes in eating habits such as not eating, or being very hungry when they get home from school because they did not eat their lunch. They may not want to go to school and have declining grades, loss of interests, loss of friends, and want to avoid social situations. You may notice feelings of helplessness, decreased self-esteem, or self-destructive behaviors. Support – Listen and focus on the child. Learn what is going on, and show you want to help. Assure the child that bullying is not their fault. Because they may struggle to talk about it with parents, seeking a therapist or councilor may be valuable. Use role play to help give the child way to deal with bullying. Work with the school, and make a game plan and find out what will help the child feel safe. Minimize changes to routine, so that the child is not singled out. If seating changes are necessary, make the change for everyone. Never tell the child to ignore the bullying. Do not blame the child for being bullied. They did not provoke or deserve the aggressive behavior. Do not tell the child to fight back. Parents should resist the urge to contact other parents because it could make matters worse. Bullying is repetitive behavior, so be persistent and keep informed on the situation. Witnesses Those who assist do not start the bullying, but they encourage, or join in at times. Kids who reinforce are not directly involved, but give audience by laughing or encouraging the bullying behavior. Outsiders are kids who remain separate from the bullying and do not either engage or stop it. They often want to help, but do not know what to do. Kids who defend will comfort the child being bullied and may come to the child’s defense. Prevent Bullying Talk to kids about bullying. Encourage kids to do what they love. Help kids understand what bullying is and that it is not acceptable. Be a model of kindness and respect. Encourage kids to speak to a trusted adult if they are being bullied, or see others being bullied. Talk about how to stand up to kids who bully such as using humor, or saying “stop” directly and confidently. Talk about actions that don’t work like walking away. Discuss strategies for staying safe such as staying near adults or groups of other kids. Urge them to help kids who are bullied by showing kindness or getting help. Getting Help There are times when Bullying can get to a point where depression or stress has set in and a child will benefit from counseling. It may be helpful for the child to talk through the feelings they experiences as well as learn new skills such as assertiveness or self-esteem. Family counseling can also help as this can help to strengthen the child's sense of support, can open lines of communication and increase cohesiveness in a family. ___________________________________________________________________________________________________________ [1] "APA Resolution on Bullying Among Children and Youth." American Psychological Association (APA), July 2004. Web. 20 July 2013. [2] "Bullying: What You Need to Know | StopBullying.gov." Home | StopBullying.gov. n.d. Web. 20 July 2013. [3] http://www.dosomething.org/tipsandtools/11-facts-about-school-bullying

August 27, 2013
by Ashley Marie

reading

Once Upon a Time, Your Child Hated Books

August 27, 2013 14:55 by Ashley Marie  [About the Author]

reading
Back to School Series: I distinctly remember loving story time with my mum but dreading story time with our elementary school librarian. With mum, I could snuggle up next to her on the living room sofa, drink a cup of hot chocolate, watch her face light up as she neared the climax of the story, and lose myself in the magic of the moment. But with our librarian, I had to sit on a hard floor, listen to a monotonous story read aloud by a strange lady with a stiff lip, and make sure not to budge for sixty painful minutes. So, what’s the difference between these two scenarios? 1. Find Books that Your Child Loves Mum knew how to make it an enjoyable experience, and my librarian didn’t have a clue. My favourite books as a child were The Chronicles of Narnia by CS Lewis. Mum had a natural gift at making the story come to life as Lucy walked through the wardrobe and into the mysterious land of Narnia, where she stumbled upon the whimsical Mr Tumnus. Our librarian, however, thought it was a good idea to read about the rustic lives of cowboys in southern Texas – a topic that seemed like an utter bore to a nine-year-old girl clothed in a dainty pink dress and a flowery headband. Simply put, children will do what interests them, including reading or listening to books that they actually enjoy. As argued by Reifman, children enjoy books more when they are related to their interests.[1] One of my younger cousins is fascinated by dinosaurs. Ever since I can remember, she has been able to cite more classifications of dinosaurs than I will ever be able to. When you walk into her bedroom, you see the shelves stacked with dinosaurs and, yes, books on dinosaurs that have been torn at the edges from overuse. By contrast, my boyfriend spent his childhood years pouring into military history. He turned his bedroom into a military battle, which no one was allowed to touch – he wouldn’t dare reenact an anachronistic version of the events. We all have unique interests, so let your child fall in love with his or hers. Instead of purchasing the books on your own, take them to the closest Chapters or Barnes & Noble. Maybe even treat them to a Starbucks hot chocolate – a perfect treat to accompany the first pages of their new book. 2. Make Reading a Shared Activity Reading can also be a group activity. There is a beautiful scene in You’ve Got Mail that displays a picturesque version of how enjoyable shared reading can be. Kathleen Kelly (played by Meg Ryan) is the owner of a charming bookshop called The Shop Around the Corner. In the film, she refers to herself as the Storybook Lady, who routinely offers storytelling sessions to children in the neighbourhood. Flaunting a fairylike hat, she captivates the imagination of her young little audience. You don’t need to wear a fairylike hat to make reading enjoyable for your child. But be creative. After all, reading is about letting your and your child’s imagination come to life. Mascott also points out that shared reading is a great opportunity to dialogue with your child.[2] Children’s stories are often packed with morals, so it might be a good idea to help them develop their understanding of life, of right and wrong, of how one bad decision can snowball into an utter disaster, among other life lessons. 3. Encourage Them To Read Out Loud As discussed by Johnson, some children come to hate books because they hate reading out loud.[3] If you have more than one child, it might a good idea to encourage the older sibling to practice reading out loud to the younger one. I recall the day that my youngest sister suddenly interrupted a story that I was reading to her. To my surprise, she started reading it herself. I was speechless. But something happened in that moment. Though I did not realize it at the time, my love of reading had been passed down to my youngest sister. She realized that she too could join in on the fun. 4. Reading and Parenthood Reading is not only a great way to help your child develop an academic skill. It also offers an opportunity for parents and children to connect, bond, and interact. The mental health of a child is intricately connected with the health of family dynamics. If you feel that your family is struggling with communication or the emotional health of your family may be at risk Family Counseling may be a great answer to equip you for the future. Instead of trying to keep your child out of trouble by putting him or her in front of a TV screen, consider spending 20 minutes or so together – just you and your child, reading a book. It might seem like an old-fashioned idea for the 21st century, but it is nonetheless a delightful way to spend an evening. I will always be thankful for the stories that Mum read to me – much more than I am for PlayStation or the Cartoon Network. [1] Reifman, S. 2011. 7 Ways to Encourage Reluctant Readers. [online] Available at: <http://www.stevereifman.com/featured-articles/for-parents/172-7-ways-to-encourage-reluctant-readers> [2] Mascott. A. 2013. What to Do You’re your Children Hates Reading. PBS. [online] Available at: <http://www.pbs.org/parents/education/reading-language/reading-tips/what-to-do-when-your-child-hates-reading/> [3] Johnson, L. 2013. 10 Reasons Nonreaders Don’t Read – And How to Change Their Minds. Scholastic. [online] Available at: <http://www.scholastic.com/teachers/article/10-reasons-nonreaders-dont-read-mdash-and-how-change-their-minds>

August 19, 2013
by Ashley Marie

bullyfist

The Grinch that Stole the Back-to-School Season

August 19, 2013 11:00 by Ashley Marie  [About the Author]

bullyfist
Bullying is a concern for parents, teachers, and children. And this challenge is becoming evermore complex as traditional bullying behaviours are taking new forms on the Internet. School will be in session again. Mothers are scanning flyers from department stores to snatch the latest deal on school supplies. Fathers are planning their morning and afternoon pick-up and drop-off schedules. Girls are picking out their outfit for the first day of school. Boys are gearing up for soccer tryouts. And bullies are cracking their knuckles. Bullying is no small challenge, and its harmful effects span across North America. As discussed in the news this past week, Rehtaeh Parsons, a high school student in Nova Scotia, attempted suicide and passed away this year after a series of incidents of cyber bullying. The perpetrators distributed multiple photos of her online and physically raped her. In Canada, 1 in 3 students are bullied during the academic year.[1] Sadly, of 35 countries that were studied internationally, Canada had the 9th highest rate of bullying for students at the age of 13. In the United States, bullying has increased over the last decade.[2] Researchers estimate that 1 in 5 students are bullied over the course of an academic year, and 8% of students report to have bullied others. Bullying Defined Bullying involves a perpetrator who intends to harm its victim(s) emotionally and/or physically.[3] Moreover, it includes repeated incidents of emotional and/or physical aggression and is characterized by a power imbalance between two or more individuals. According to the Canadian Council on Learning, bullying can be broken down into four broad categories: (1) physical bullying, (2) relational bullying, (3) verbal bullying, and (4) electronic bullying.[4] The last of these is a recent phenomenon that is becoming evermore dominant. Cyber Bullying Cyber bullying involves online forms of aggression, such as forwarding private photos or information of the victim or writing malicious comments directed at the victim on social networking sites. Typically, there are more female than male victims of cyber bullying. In Canada, 73% of victims of cyber bullying reported receiving aggressive emails or instant messages.[5] In the United States, 1 in 5 teenagers has been cyber bullied and approximately the same number of teenagers have been a cyber bully.[6] Studies show that there is frequently a relationship between online and in-person bullying. Cyber bullying tends to contribute to social exclusion for female victims and tends to result in physical bullying for male victims. It Often Starts At Home Researchers have found that the issues that trigger bullying often stem from family dynamics at home.[7] Parents who do not provide a caring environment can harmfully affect their children, who in turn express their discontentment at school. Once the pain of life at home reaches a breaking point, children are more likely to act aggressively towards others. It Usually Happens at School Though the triggers that produce bullying behaviour tend to begin at home, the act of bullying typically occurs at school. Studies show that bullying occurs most prominently during recess and in the classroom.[8] Children commonly find their social life at school, so incidents of bullying are more likely to occur on school grounds. In addition, bullies commonly seek a wider audience to which they can display their power over another. This is especially the case when teachers or supervisors are not present. For instance, schoolyards often lack sufficient supervision, making it easier for bullies to act aggressively towards their victim(s) without any punishment. How Parents Can Help a Victim of Bullying Though children do not always tell an adult about incidents of bullying, those who do tend to turn to their parents for help. In fact, 1 in 3 children turn to their mother or father.[9] This is a great time to asses how life for your child is in general- how is their self esteem etc. A Family Counselor can help to assist in communication with your children and working through issues you may not feel confident tackling. But for those parents whose children have remained silent, these are some warning signs to look out for: unexplained scratches or bruises, unexplained damaged belongings, fear of walking to school or home from school, unpredictable mood swings, anxiety, poor academic performance, and having few friends. How Parents Can Help a Perpetrator of Bullying Once an incident of bullying has been identified, the family of the perpetrator of bullying should be notified. Because bullies commonly grow up in dysfunctional families, researchers recommend that schools involve their parents in the process of preventing future incidents of bullying. When parents must commit to actively helping their child, the positive result can be more sustainable in the long run. There are lots of stresses for Parents with back-to-school coming, to get some perspective on this read more here. Increasing Awareness About Cyber Bullying In the digital age that we live in, it is also important to help children navigate online social interactions. Social media sites and online forums are often the arena in which modern forms of bullying take place. Parents and teachers can educate children about proper online etiquette and inappropriate behavior. If the triggers of bullying behavior are stopped at home and in the classroom, then we can help decrease incidents of bullying overall. [1] Canadian Bullying Statistics. 2012. Canadian Institutes of Health Research. [online] Available at: <http://www.cihr-irsc.gc.ca/e/45838.html> [2] Bullying and Adolescent Health. 2011. Office of Adolescent Health. [online] Available at: <http://www.hhs.gov/ash/oah/news/e-updates/eupdate-7.html> [3] Bullying in Canada. 2008. Canadian Council on Learning. [online] Available at: <http://www.ccl-cca.ca/pdfs/LessonsInLearning/Mar-20-08-Bullying-in-Canad.pdf> [4] Ibid. [5] Canadian Bullying Statistics. 2012. Canadian Institutes of Health Research. [online] Available at: <http://www.cihr-irsc.gc.ca/e/45838.html> [6] Bullying and Adolescent Health. 2011. Office of Adolescent Health. [online] Available at: <http://www.hhs.gov/ash/oah/news/e-updates/eupdate-7.html> [7] Rigby, K. 2007. Bullying in Schools and What to Do About It. Victoria, Australia: Acer Press. [8] Ibid. [9] Ibid.

August 10, 2013
by Cindy Marie Hosszu

backtoschool

Back To School Series: Stress for Parents

August 10, 2013 06:00 by Cindy Marie Hosszu  [About the Author]

backtoschool
It is not always just about the kids...back to school help for parents: Back to school time can be very stressful for both children and parents. Parents want their kids to be happy and healthy, and get along well in school. After days of staying up late, sleeping in, and no homework, it can be tough to get back to a routine. Add to that the stress of the $8.5 billion that the United States spent on school shopping in August 2012, and the tension is even higher. [i] However, there are some things you can do to help ease the stress, and send the kids off to school with confidence. Be Prepared Don’t wait until the last minute. Create a schedule and do a trial run before school starts. This will give you an idea of how long the morning routine will take, and what types of things can be done in the evening instead of mornings. Make lunches, iron, set out clothes, and pack the backpacks before bed, and you will cut out valuable morning time. Practice bus routines. Meet the neighborhood kids before the first day, so that your child knows who they will spend the ride with, and it will make it easier to find the right bus after school because they know who to look for on the bus. Plan play dates prior to school so that the kids will know each other and the ride to school will put them at ease before they get to school. Visit the school. Meet the teachers, know what is expected, get teacher contact info, and a get school supply list. Meeting the teachers will help you decide what types of things are going to be priorities, and what you may need to watch for during the school year. It can also ease the child’s fears if they do not know the teacher, or are unfamiliar with the school layout. Inquire about fees, such as lunches, class fees, art fees, etc. This will allow you to plan your budget. Gather information. Know the school web site, know the contact information for principal, superintendent, and phone numbers for administration such as the number to call when your child is ill, or you have questions about events. Know how the school communicates important information such as school closures, or late starts, and emergency routines. Get to bed early several nights before going back to school. We tend to stay up longer as the sun stays up longer. Our bodies need time to adjust back to the fall season. Give yourself a couple weeks to adjust to going to bed early. Start about a half-hour earlier, and gradually add more until you have reached the desired fall bedtime. If you find it difficult to get the kids to adjust, use relaxation techniques such as a warm bath, stories, or other quiet time activities before you put them to bed. Create a budget, and know how much you can spend for all school related expenses. Differentiate between needs and wants, and do your shopping as close to that first day as you can. Kids always seem to have growth spurts during the summer, and shopping early may mean you will be shopping again early in the year. Discuss with your child, prior to shopping, the types of things you are going to get, and stick to it. If you choose to get 5 new shirts, and 5 new pants, the child knows the expectation and will feel content with what they get. Designate a desk area. Homework comes first, so make sure there is a place where the kids have all their supplies, quiet, and a posture of study. Make Family Time Don’t take on extra tasks during this time. The back to school mad dash is enough stress. Don’t over-stimulate yourself by taking on too much. Stick to your priorities. Remember that kids can be overwhelmed also, and they will need their sleep, and healthy life-style. Be aware of how they are feeling. Ask the child about their fears. The best way to diminish worry is to address it. Do not give kids new things to worry about by expressing what you think they may worry about, but ask what they are thinking and what they are excited about as the new school year approaches. Based on what they express, you can address the fears they have. Establish relaxation for both kids and parents. Start a fun tradition, such as doing something special the day before school starts. I like to take my child out for a juice, or ice cream, and do some last minute light shopping for something simple, such as a belt, or hat. The real purpose is to talk and see what my child is thinking about, but all he knows is that it is super cool to have juice or ice cream with mom, and pick out one last new thing. You could also do a family marshmallow roast in the back yard, or game night. Any activities that will allow for natural conversation and fun will be perfect. Above all, stay positive. We make it through each new school year, and our kids see the little cues we give off if we are tense. Remember that this can be an exciting time to watch our kids grow, and develop into the wonderful new person that they are becoming. Relax and enjoy the pride you have in your amazing kids. Getting Help: It is okay to be stressed out. It is normal to be worried about getting everything right and feeling rushed for time. You, as a parent, may benefit from talking to someone about how you are feeling. Counseling to assist in making you the best parent you can be can be helpful. The back to school time can be stressful on your marriage or even work. Therapy can help to relieve the added tension and can help bring back some balance and perspective to life during this time. When it seems like it is all about the kids, sometimes it is important to make sure we are taking care of ourselves. [i] "Monthly & Annual Retail Trade, Main Page - US Census Bureau." Census Bureau Homepage. N.p., 29 Mar. 2013. Web. 28 July 2013.

August 4, 2013
by Ashley Marie

collegestudentcomputer

The Best (or Worst) Four Years of Your Life

August 4, 2013 17:05 by Ashley Marie  [About the Author]

collegestudentcomputer
Back to School Series The start of your college career is just around the corner. You’ve done your campus tour, been assigned your college dorm, signed up for your classes, said goodbye to your high school friends, listened to your parents cry as they anticipate your departure, and wondered what your life will be like as a college student. Will you get along with your roommate? Will your professors be incredibly intimidating? Will your course load be too heavy? Will you find any extracurricular activities that you enjoy? Will you make new friends? Will you be able to manage your finances? And will these be the best or the worst four years of your life? Although this article is by no means comprehensive, it outlines some helpful tips that I’ve gathered during my years as an undergraduate and postgraduate student. These might help you make these the best – and not the worst – years of your life. 1. Get To Know Your Roommate If you are living with a roommate, take the time to get to know him or her. After all, you will be spending the next eight months living right next to each other. After you’ve both settled in, consider going for a walk or grabbing a coffee with him or her just to get to know each other a bit. Even if you are complete opposites, those first conversations are crucial to understanding how to make the most of your time living together. What are your schedules like? Is he or she an early riser or a night owl? How clean or messy is he or she? Though these might seem like trivial questions, appreciating each other’s differences in lifestyle is essential to creating a healthy living situation. Having worked as a Residence Don for two years, I witnessed a strong contrast between roommates who knew how to respect each other’s boundaries and those who didn’t. I would even suggest writing up a quick roommate contract with a short list of what you absolutely need your roommate to respect. A few examples include the need for a quiet study space at certain times during the week, a need to have the freedom to invite friends over on Friday nights, or the need to have a decently clean living space. 2. Do Not Be Shy If you’re like me, meeting a whole new group of strangers can be intimidating. But getting yourself out there is worth it. College is not only an opportunity to improve your mind, but it is also a tremendous opportunity to improve your social life. Like never before, you will have endless crowds of people to interact with – from a variety of cultures, backgrounds, belief systems, interests, and ideas. During my years as an undergraduate and postgraduate student, I noticed a marked difference between high school and college. In high school, meeting new people was more difficult – there were fewer people to befriend and people were less likely to make new friends. However, in university the atmosphere was different. I made new friends left, right, and centre – at the library, in lectures, at school clubs, at formal events, at the school pub, in dorms, and the list continues. 3. Get Involved One thing I will never regret about my university years was my choice to get involved in extracurricular activities. Not only is it a great way to meet new people, but it is also a fantastic way to develop a new skill or try something new. Most colleges and universities have a variety of clubs and activities to choose from, and you can often find out more about them during your orientation week. Try a few in your first month, and if it’s not the right fit, there is bound to be something else that fits you like a glove. Try a salsa class, write for your school newspaper, join an activist group, play a sport, or perform in a play. The options are endless. 4. Start Studying Early Unfortunately, the attractions of dorm life, a fun social life, and engaging extracurricular activities can turn into an unhealthy distraction from your studies. Map out your assignment deadlines, midterms, and final exams as soon as you get your academic syllabi. Divide up the amount of work that you will need to do to perform well, and then ensure to create a weekly schedule that realistically balances your schoolwork and your other interests. There is no need to pull an all-nighter the day before your final exam worth 50% of your final grade. Start early, and you will be a lot less stressed and learn a lot more. 5. Spend Wisely University tuition is already expensive, so it is important to be realistic about your finances. While it is great to go out with your friends, make sure not to overdo it. There are usually a lot of discounts available for students, so find out what deals apply to you. Can you find your books at a second-hand store? Are drinks cheaper on Tuesday nights? Is membership at your university gym cheaper than a regular gym? Saving a bit here and there makes a huge difference in the long run. 6. Do Not Forget to Call Home During my first year as an undergraduate, I miserably failed at calling home. But this was not a healthy choice – neither for me, nor for my parents. It is important to give updates on how you are doing, to remember that there are people who care for you, and to catch up with your loved ones. If your parents are helping you out financially, then remember to thank them every once in a while. If grandma sent you a box of baked cookies, then give her a call to let her know that you appreciate her. There are people who helped you get to where you are today, and they want to know that you remember them. 7. Do Not Be Afraid to Seek Help Being away from home can be difficult. Researchers have found that the stress of a first failed midterm or a low grade on an assignment can lead to a vicious cycle of hopelessness, lack of motivation, and declining academic performance.[1] Universities often experience a peek in the number of students coming to seek help during final exam season. At McGill University, for instance, their mental health clinic serves four times the number of students close to the end of the academic year.[2] If you are feeling stressed, lonely, discouraged, or anxious, do not be afraid to seek help. Your college has a variety of staff available to help you, including a team of mental health professionals. If you just need to talk to someone, there is always a listening ear available. Find out where your college’s counseling office is, and be encouraged that you are not the only one on campus who is finding your new life as a university student a bit of a challenge. Yes, you can make these the best years of your life. [1] Hanlon, C. 2012. Addressing mental health issues on university campuses. State of Mind. [online] Available at: < http://www.aucc.ca/wp-content/uploads/2012/06/mental-health-state-of-mind-university-manager-article-summer-2012.pdf> [2] Bradwhaw, J. and Wingrove, J. December 07, 2012. As student stress hits crisis levels, universities look to ease pressure. Globe and Mail. [online] Available at: < http://www.theglobeandmail.com/news/national/as-student-stress-hits-crisis-levels-universities-look-to-ease-pressure/article5902668/>