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April 17, 2015
by Dr. Irina Kerzhnerman,Phd

support

It’s All In Who You Know: Why Your Support Matters

April 17, 2015 07:55 by Dr. Irina Kerzhnerman,Phd  [About the Author]

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It seems to be common sense that having someone to lean on in a time of need would be a good thing. And, not surprisingly, social psychological and clinical psychological research has confirmed that. But, in delving into the scientifically based questions of how, why, when and what kind of social support is most beneficial to people in times of stress, mental illness or well-being, social scientists have identified the truly important role that our relationships with others play in our psychological and physical health. When it comes to health, who we know is just as important, if not more so, than what we know. [More]

September 4, 2013
by Ashley Marie

walkingdad

Poor Manners, Poor Mental Health

September 4, 2013 15:38 by Ashley Marie  [About the Author]

walkingdad
A couple of months ago, our neighbor knocked on the door of apartment 24. She had never done so before, so she had no idea who would answer it. That person happened to be me. She quietly sighed with relief – probably thankful that I was not a grumpy scrooge in a shabby robe that had just been awoken by a total stranger on a Saturday morning. Then she sheepishly asked, “Do you happen to have a plunger that I can borrow? We just moved in, and our toilet is clogged.” “Of course,” I replied. “Just wait here, and I’ll be right back.” She smiled as she thanked me and quickly turned towards the hallway to walk back to her front door. About half an hour later, she came back, returned the plunger, and we said goodbye. You might think that I was being polite. But I didn’t even bother to ask what her name was. In fact, I didn’t even know that she was new to the building. After I closed the apartment door, I closed the door on an opportunity to make a new acquaintance. Perhaps it was my fault. And perhaps it was also characteristic of 21st-century urban society. I can’t help but wonder what our brief encounter would have been like if we were of a different time period, of a different generation. I recall the day my Grandma welcomed her new neighbors into their cul-de-sac. She spent the whole afternoon baking chocolate chip cookies. Then, we left her kitchen and walked across the street together. We rung her neighbors’ doorbell and greeted them with a basket of freshly baked cookies. Grandma’s warmhearted welcoming felt so natural and charming – not distant and reserved. And now I wonder whether something has been lost somewhere between Grandma’s generation and mine. She carries with her a certain level of finesse, etiquette, and propriety that I wish I possessed. Emily Post: The Face of American Etiquette in the 1920s Emily Post, a famous American writer on etiquette, explained that etiquette is something that can be developed by all, regardless of one’s background or socio-economic status.[1] Etiquette, she wrote, involves both ethics and good manners. Her writings pay a great deal of attention to the importance of considering the well being of others. Though in many ways Emily Post’s notions of etiquette might be a bit outdated – and even awkward – for modern day interactions, there is something to be learned from the social graces of the Roaring Twenties. Young girls in finishing schools devoured her books on how to conduct oneself in a multitude of scenarios, and many of these lessons still apply to the 21st century. A young lady would greet an elderly lady in the hallway with a “How do you do, Mrs. Jones?” A gentleman would offer his arm to an ill person if he saw that they were having trouble walking. Customers would speak politely to salespeople – it would be considered a sign of ill breeding and selfishness to do otherwise. Guests at a dinner party would not take more than their share of food at the table. Pedestrians would not litter the streets with their garbage. And we would greet our new neighbors with a friendly introduction, a greeting card, and a small gift. A Forgotten Art: The Art of Conversation In 2009, Catherine Blyth published a book, The Art of Conversation, which reiterates some of the consequences of our gradual loss of social graces.[2] In it she explains that we are losing our appreciation for conversation, face-to-face dialogues, and the delight of striking up a spontaneous conversation with a total stranger. What strikes me most is that conversation is not merely a tool, a duty, or an obligation – it is a pleasure, something that adds value to our lives. Talking with someone else, even if just for a couple of minutes with a stranger, can be an enriching experience. Is our society afraid of conversation? Is exchanging names with a new neighbor considered intrusive? Should it not be a sign of friendliness? Are we too busy to help that elderly lady cross the street or to hold the door for a stranger? Bad Manners and Social Anxiety Unfortunately, our lack of social graces can negatively affect the well being of others. When we are rude, short, or temperamental with others, we do not consider how our actions affect those around us. Unfortunately, our gradual loss of social graces has the potential to harm others, sometimes encouraging or reinforcing the development of social anxiety. Broadly speaking, social anxiety involves feelings of discomfort or worries that stem from social interactions.[3] A good friend of mine struggles with social anxiety. Earlier this year, she recounted a disastrous family gathering where a relative was deliberately rude to her. She came home not only feeling hurt, but even more anxious about social interactions than before. Bad manners and bad behavior are inexcusable and can have a lasting impact on society. May we all do our part in improving our manners - not only as a sign of finesse, but also as an ethical consideration for the well-being of others. Though we no longer live in the 1920s, we can still strive to be a friendly, charming, and well-mannered people. If you struggle with social anxiety or panic attacks, there are therapists who can help you. Mental health practitioners want you to feel valued and want you to develop meaningful relationships with others. Together with a therapist you can work through the causes of your anxiety and learn coping tools to help you function with less stress and more joy. [1] Post, Emily. 2007. First published in 1922. Etiquette: In Society, in Business, in Politics, and at Home. New York: Cosimo. [2] Blyth, C. 2008. The Art of Conversation. New York: Penguin. [3] Jacobs, A., and Antony, M. 2008. Social Anxiety Disorder and Social Phobia. Social Anxiety Support. [online] Available at: <http://www.socialanxietysupport.com/disorder/#what> [Accessed on 1 September 2013].

August 19, 2013
by Ashley Marie

bullyfist

The Grinch that Stole the Back-to-School Season

August 19, 2013 11:00 by Ashley Marie  [About the Author]

bullyfist
Bullying is a concern for parents, teachers, and children. And this challenge is becoming evermore complex as traditional bullying behaviours are taking new forms on the Internet. School will be in session again. Mothers are scanning flyers from department stores to snatch the latest deal on school supplies. Fathers are planning their morning and afternoon pick-up and drop-off schedules. Girls are picking out their outfit for the first day of school. Boys are gearing up for soccer tryouts. And bullies are cracking their knuckles. Bullying is no small challenge, and its harmful effects span across North America. As discussed in the news this past week, Rehtaeh Parsons, a high school student in Nova Scotia, attempted suicide and passed away this year after a series of incidents of cyber bullying. The perpetrators distributed multiple photos of her online and physically raped her. In Canada, 1 in 3 students are bullied during the academic year.[1] Sadly, of 35 countries that were studied internationally, Canada had the 9th highest rate of bullying for students at the age of 13. In the United States, bullying has increased over the last decade.[2] Researchers estimate that 1 in 5 students are bullied over the course of an academic year, and 8% of students report to have bullied others. Bullying Defined Bullying involves a perpetrator who intends to harm its victim(s) emotionally and/or physically.[3] Moreover, it includes repeated incidents of emotional and/or physical aggression and is characterized by a power imbalance between two or more individuals. According to the Canadian Council on Learning, bullying can be broken down into four broad categories: (1) physical bullying, (2) relational bullying, (3) verbal bullying, and (4) electronic bullying.[4] The last of these is a recent phenomenon that is becoming evermore dominant. Cyber Bullying Cyber bullying involves online forms of aggression, such as forwarding private photos or information of the victim or writing malicious comments directed at the victim on social networking sites. Typically, there are more female than male victims of cyber bullying. In Canada, 73% of victims of cyber bullying reported receiving aggressive emails or instant messages.[5] In the United States, 1 in 5 teenagers has been cyber bullied and approximately the same number of teenagers have been a cyber bully.[6] Studies show that there is frequently a relationship between online and in-person bullying. Cyber bullying tends to contribute to social exclusion for female victims and tends to result in physical bullying for male victims. It Often Starts At Home Researchers have found that the issues that trigger bullying often stem from family dynamics at home.[7] Parents who do not provide a caring environment can harmfully affect their children, who in turn express their discontentment at school. Once the pain of life at home reaches a breaking point, children are more likely to act aggressively towards others. It Usually Happens at School Though the triggers that produce bullying behaviour tend to begin at home, the act of bullying typically occurs at school. Studies show that bullying occurs most prominently during recess and in the classroom.[8] Children commonly find their social life at school, so incidents of bullying are more likely to occur on school grounds. In addition, bullies commonly seek a wider audience to which they can display their power over another. This is especially the case when teachers or supervisors are not present. For instance, schoolyards often lack sufficient supervision, making it easier for bullies to act aggressively towards their victim(s) without any punishment. How Parents Can Help a Victim of Bullying Though children do not always tell an adult about incidents of bullying, those who do tend to turn to their parents for help. In fact, 1 in 3 children turn to their mother or father.[9] This is a great time to asses how life for your child is in general- how is their self esteem etc. A Family Counselor can help to assist in communication with your children and working through issues you may not feel confident tackling. But for those parents whose children have remained silent, these are some warning signs to look out for: unexplained scratches or bruises, unexplained damaged belongings, fear of walking to school or home from school, unpredictable mood swings, anxiety, poor academic performance, and having few friends. How Parents Can Help a Perpetrator of Bullying Once an incident of bullying has been identified, the family of the perpetrator of bullying should be notified. Because bullies commonly grow up in dysfunctional families, researchers recommend that schools involve their parents in the process of preventing future incidents of bullying. When parents must commit to actively helping their child, the positive result can be more sustainable in the long run. There are lots of stresses for Parents with back-to-school coming, to get some perspective on this read more here. Increasing Awareness About Cyber Bullying In the digital age that we live in, it is also important to help children navigate online social interactions. Social media sites and online forums are often the arena in which modern forms of bullying take place. Parents and teachers can educate children about proper online etiquette and inappropriate behavior. If the triggers of bullying behavior are stopped at home and in the classroom, then we can help decrease incidents of bullying overall. [1] Canadian Bullying Statistics. 2012. Canadian Institutes of Health Research. [online] Available at: <http://www.cihr-irsc.gc.ca/e/45838.html> [2] Bullying and Adolescent Health. 2011. Office of Adolescent Health. [online] Available at: <http://www.hhs.gov/ash/oah/news/e-updates/eupdate-7.html> [3] Bullying in Canada. 2008. Canadian Council on Learning. [online] Available at: <http://www.ccl-cca.ca/pdfs/LessonsInLearning/Mar-20-08-Bullying-in-Canad.pdf> [4] Ibid. [5] Canadian Bullying Statistics. 2012. Canadian Institutes of Health Research. [online] Available at: <http://www.cihr-irsc.gc.ca/e/45838.html> [6] Bullying and Adolescent Health. 2011. Office of Adolescent Health. [online] Available at: <http://www.hhs.gov/ash/oah/news/e-updates/eupdate-7.html> [7] Rigby, K. 2007. Bullying in Schools and What to Do About It. Victoria, Australia: Acer Press. [8] Ibid. [9] Ibid.

July 7, 2013
by Cindy Marie Hosszu

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Did you "Google" the last person you hired?

July 7, 2013 00:37 by Cindy Marie Hosszu  [About the Author]

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Networking has a new meaning in today's job market... The Past In the past, some of the best insight into whether a person would be a good fit for a company has been personal interviews, positive personal references, IQ tests, and personality testing. In our technologically changing world, there are new ways to gather this sort of information. Social networking, data-mining, and even games and videos can be used to collect information about how people deal with various situations, how they multi-task, and even, to some degree, intelligence. [1] The Present The most popular vehicle for employers to seek insight into a candidate has been the professional networking site, LinkedIn. According to an article written by Tomas Chamorro-Premuzic and Christopher Steinmetz, LinkedIn offers the professional the personal reference through its use of the “Endorsements” feature. An employer looking for a candidate can now see the resume, and references, as well as interests before making contact with the candidate. This saves time in the hiring process. A 2012 study by psychologists Jamie Guillory and Jeffery Hancock at Cornell University found that public resumes on LinkedIn foster more honesty with regard to work experience than the tradition paper resume, because it is public, and can more easily be called to question by family and friends. However, interests or hobbies that are not known as objectively were not as honest. In addition to LinkedIn, there are several other ways an employer can seek information about a person. Looking at blogs, Facebook, and Twitter give a glimpse into a person’s character and interests, but can also create a bias based on looks, or interests that would not matter in the work environment, and would not come up in a face to face interview. The Future? New technology could take the social networking we currently use even further with data mining. Data mining is software used to derive insight to make evidenced-based decisions. Companies such as TweetPsych and YouAreWhatYouLike use Twitter and Facebook to create a personality profile for an individual based on the individual’s activity on those social networks with amazing accuracy. Psychologist Michal Kosinski of the University of Cambridge published an analysis suggesting that the accuracy is greater than 75% for predicting gender, sexual orientation, religion, and political preference. While the percentage is lower for personality traits and intelligence, it is still significantly accurate in estimating IQ and personality. [2] Another tool for networking is a video offered by companies like EnRecruit and Spark Hire, which asks candidates questions on video, and employers can evaluate their responses in private. This offers a time savings, and a standardized interviewing process. Additionally, gaming can also predict character traits through situational behavior. This engaging innovation allows a candidate to play a game that analyses their choices and categorizes job skills and personality traits. The company, Knack, bases personality profiles on research from behavioral scientists who have mapped certain responses in the game with job skills. As an example, the game “Wasabi Waiter” can measure many skills such as the ability to multi-task, and remember details. Reckitt Benckiser, a multinational consumer goods company, uses the game “Insanely Driven” to profile personality. Players must handle tough situations in a race that measures personality, ambition, sensitivity, and prudence. This game bases assessment on the five-factor model Hogan Personality Inventory. L’Oreal uses the game “Reveal” for its cosmetics company. This game is used to discover people based on the qualities such as Risk taking, analytical skills, and more. Additionally, there are databases that can assess what people are saying about an individual. These sites like Topsy and Klout can be used to see an individual’s influence on the world. Can This Innovation Shape the Job Market? There are pros and cons to all of this new technology. On one hand, employers can save time scheduling, and sifting through papers to find the perfect fit for their company. Candidates can avoid some of the anxiety of interviews, and loss of self-esteem from rejections. It streamlines the process of hiring, while making it a bit more evidence based. On the other hand, it also requires a loss of privacy for the person looking for a job. Companies would need access to the information that is normally private or protected by password. Another problem with the new technology is that people are not willing to give up that privacy in an age so tight on security. It also tends to limit the human contact even further than we have already in our gadget run world. Whether a job seeker wants to use the old resume and cover letter, or cutting edge new networking innovations, a career counselor can help research the best career match, based on a person’s individual qualities, and skills, as well as aid in finding the right tools for the job search in our ever changing job market. ________________________________________________________________ [1] Chamorro-Premuzic, Tomas, and Christopher Steinmetz. "The Perfect Hire." Scientific American Mind July-Aug. 2013: 43-47. [2] Kosinski, Michael, David Stillwell, and Thore Graepel. "Private Traits and Attributes Are Predictable from Digital Records of Human Behavior." Private Traits and Attributes Are Predictable from Digital Records of Human Behavior. PNAS, 11 Mar. 2013. Web. 06 July 2013.

July 1, 2013
by Ashley Marie

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Therapy: A Connection with the Interconnected

July 1, 2013 14:13 by Ashley Marie  [About the Author]

orange social med with hand
There is a lot of hype about social media, and I understand its advantages. I have a network of friends across the globe that I can tap into within seconds. I can Skype my sister in California, Facebook my friend in New York, Tweet to my former classmate in London, and comment on my boyfriend’s Instagram photo taken in Winnipeg – all with very little effort. The Dawn of Social Media This digital connectivity is a historically recent phenomenon. Its beginnings trace back to 1991, when Tim Berners-Lee connected hypertext technology with the Internet, leading to the creation of the World Wide Web.[1] Soon, email replaced snail mail and weblogs replaced printed diaries and journals. New communities formed online, creating alternate means of social interaction. A decade later, Web 2.0, a term coined by Darcy DiNucci,[2] shifted the dynamics of virtual communities. Instead of only allowing Internet users to passively read online content, Web 2.0 now permitted individuals to actively interact as creators of user-generated content. Today, social media outlets – such as Facebook, Twitter, Google+, LinkedIn, and Skype – form a large part of social interactions. How Social is Social Media? We have witnessed a series of technological breakthroughs, but has there been a corresponding social breakthrough? Has social media contributed to us becoming more social? Proponents of social media suggest that it has enhanced our relationships. Rainie et al., for instance, claim that individuals should not fear the Internet; rather, if they learn how to network effectively online, they can benefit from endless possibilities to offer support, exchange information, and converse with people all across the globe.[3] But while online communities can produce a greater quantity of personal contacts, they tend to diminish the quality of interactions. Malcolm Gladwell is critical of the laziness that social media encourages. He argues that it is so easy for people to participate in social networks that they end up devoting less time and energy to their interactions with others.[4] Social media eases connectivity, but connectivity is not the same as connection. I can instant message my father in Guadalajara, but our online conversation will only scratch the surface of a deep father-daughter connection. The bases of profound relationships – such as trust, commitment, and compatibility – are difficult to strengthen via pixels on sleek displays, no matter how aesthetically appealing and user-friendly they might look. As pointed out by Monserrat, a person's tone of voice and body language is essential to forming strong relationships.[5] It is easy to ‘like’ a friend’s Facebook photo, but it takes more time and involvement to show someone that you sincerely care about their well-being. Some interactions on social media can even produce anti-social behaviours. A survey conducted by VitalSmart revealed that 1 in 5 individuals has blocked, unsubscribed, or unfriended someone else due to an online quarrel.[6] In other words, bullying, rudeness, and disrespect have permeated a medium intended to foster favorable social interactions. Therapists: Listening Ears to Deaf Crowds Means of communication are changing quickly, and therapists should reflect on how to respond to this new age of hyper-interconnectivity. They should not fear social media, but they should understand its strengths and weaknesses. Participating in online networks can help build a therapist’s practice, allow for up-to-date exchanges of information, as well as produce healthy dialogues about mental health issues. However, therapists should also recognize that – perhaps more than ever – they have unique contribution to make to the quality of people’s lives. Fast-paced lifestyles combined with superficial virtual communities can produce social alienation, causing many to disconnect from others and even from themselves. For some, a therapist might be the only person who can offer a full hour of their time to listen to their story, provide helpful insights, and encourage them along their journey – all without the interruption of Tweets, Facebook messages, Instagram photos, and LinkedIn updates. Therapists offer a breath of fresh air in a world polluted by restless online hyperactivity. [1] Van Dijck, J. 2013. The Culture of Connectivity: A Critical History of Social Media. New York: Oxford UP, pp 5. [2] DiNucci, D. 1999. Fragmented Future, Print Magazine. pp 32, 221-2. [3] Rainie, H., L. Rainie, and B. Vellman. 2012. Networked: The New Social Operating System. Cambridge, MA: MIT Press, pp. 255. [4] Gladwell, M. Small Change, The New Yorker, [online] Available at: <http://www.newyorker.com/reporting/2010/10/04/101004 fa_fact_gladwell> [Accessed 30 June 2013]. [5] Monserrat, A. Leadership Means Face-to-Face, Not Facebook, Forbes, [online] Available at: < http://www.forbes.com/sites/forbesleadershipforum/2011/ 08/29/the-social-media-fallacy-real-leadership-means-face-to-face-not-facebook/> [Accessed 30 June 2013]. [6] People more likely to be rude on social media; affects friendships in real life. Daily News, 10 April 2013. [online] Available at: <http://www.nydailynews.com/life-style/friendships-cut-short-social-media-article-1.1312747#ixzz2XjSTFeew> [Accessed on 30 June 2013].

November 30, 2012
by Gloria Day

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An Uncomfortable and Necessary Journey: “Boundaries” by Cloud and Townsend- Book Review Chapter 5

November 30, 2012 09:39 by Gloria Day  [About the Author]

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I feel like I need to have a big sip of water, pat my belly, sigh, and sit back to digest…this book is getting good! Chapter 5: Ten Laws of Boundaries….DRUM ROLL PLEASE: Law of Sowing and Reaping: - God’s law on this is not punishment it is reality - When other people reap the consequences for someone else this is called “codependency” - People with no boundaries often interrupt this law Law of Responsibility: - This includes loving others - About being responsible ‘to’ and not for others - Not only giving but in the setting of limits on other’s destructive and irresponsible behaviour - It is not good to rescue others from the consequences of their sin as you will only need to do it again Law of Power: - We need to admit we are powerless - We have the power to admit our faults, submit to God, ask for help, turn for help, humble ourselves and apologize when wrong Law of Respect: - We tend to judge other’s people’s boundaries - We need to respect the boundaries of others, in fact we need to love them - If we love and respect people who say no they will love and respect our no Law of Motivation: - We are often motived not by love but by fear of losing it - We need to check our motivations are they based on: fear of anger, fear of losing myself, guilt, payback, approval, over identification with other’s loss Law of Evaluation: - Hurt and harm are different - We need to evaluate the effects of setting boundaries and be responsible to (not for) the other person - Need to evaluate the pain caused by our choices Law of Proactivity: - Proactive people show you what they love, what they stand for, what they want, and what they purpose - Spiritual adulthood has higher goals than finding yourself! Law of Envy: - Envy defines good as what I don’t poses - If we focus on what we don’t have we are not being responsible for what we do have - Envy should be a sign that you are lacking something (usually not what you are wanting) - take this to God Law of Activity: - Passivity can become an ally of evil if you do not resist it - God will match our efforts but he will never do the work for us - Trying, failing and trying again is called learning Law of Exposure: - Boundaries need to be made visible to others- they need to see them - Due to unexpressed boundaries relationships will suffer KEY THOUGHTS FROM THE CHAPTER: Boundaries do exist, they will affect us whether we communicate them or not (pg 103) The Ultimate Expression of Power is love (pg 98) We are called into freedom- this freedom results in gratitude and an overflowing heart(pg 94) More people suffer from trying to change others than any other sickness(pg 91) So here we are: the 10 Laws of Boundaries. Many of these seem so very obvious and others, well they are at work and I am sure as we open up we will see how we can work with them and not against them. Reference: Cloud, H., & Townsend, J. (1992) Boundaries: When to say Yes, When to say No; to take control of your life. Grand Rapids, Michigan: Zondervan.

November 16, 2011
by Christie Hunter

Tanya Glover

The Art of Self Awareness and Self Reflection

November 16, 2011 12:14 by Christie Hunter  [About the Author]

Tanya Glover
By Tanya Glover Theravive.com Contributor As complex human beings, we all can benefit from self refection and self awareness. They are both important parts of who we are and who we aim to become. Self Awareness Being self aware means having the ability look within ourselves to get a clear snapshot of our thoughts, beliefs, emotions, motivations and our personality in general. Becoming self aware is harder than one may think. It is not just simply being aware, but experiencing a heightened sense of awareness. Though this heightened awareness you can more easily interpret your thoughts and emotions and figure out what your true feelings and motivations are. Self awareness if important because once you are able to figure out these things about yourself, you can make the changes you need to make your life better. Emotional intelligence (being able to identify and control your emotions) is directly connected to becoming self aware and plays an important role in becoming a successful human being. Why Be Self Aware? By becoming self aware, you are creating the things you need to become in control of your emotions and behaviors. When you reach a high level of self awareness it is almost as if your thoughts are speaking to you directly, helping you to figure out what paths to take in your life. You will be able to control how you react to things and how to focus your attentions to the most beneficial areas. These things are what help you to make positive changes in your life. Without self awareness, it can be very difficult to steer your thoughts and emotions in a healthy direction and you may find it hard to make good decisions in your life. In essence, becoming self aware is the first step on the journey to finding the best you are and how to direct that energy into positive directions. Self awareness is also a vital part in having good and healthy relationships. This goes for romantic relationships, friendships, family relationships and relationships with co-workers. By changing the way your mind interprets what you think you are able to also change your emotions which in turn helps to enhance the quality of the relationships in your life. Being self aware also allows you to understand others better and be able to empathize with them which also helps build better relationships. How to Become Self Aware The most basic way to begin your development of self awareness is to practice putting your focus on all the details of your personality and behaviors, even the smallest details as they can prove to be the most important things that effect who we are. You cannot learn how to become self aware by reading a book. A book can indeed teach you things and but you on the right path to self awareness, but you have to remember that when reading a book, what you are focusing your attention on is the concepts it is teaching you. What you must focus on to become self aware in the concepts in your own mind that deal with you, your emotions and your behaviors. In a way, learning how to become self aware is like learning a new dance step. You are conscious of each step you are making and to the beat of the music. Think of yourself as the dancer who has to pay attention to the beat of the music. The dance is you and the beat is your mind and the consciousness of what it contains. When you are a dancer and you make a misstep, you have to rethink what caused it. It is the same way when you are becoming self aware. When you experience a stressful or emotional situation or moment we must stop and take it all. By doing this you are looking for the triggers of your emotion or behavior. If you can figure this out, you can avoid the triggers or find a way to confront them, changing how your react to them. According to many mental health professionals, there are five specific ways for a person to become happier in their lives through self awareness. ØChange your core beliefs ØHush the voices in your head telling you to react ØPut a stop to having purely emotional reactions ØPut communication and respect at the top of your relationship priority list ØDo whatever you can to create a life filled with happiness and love (self love especially) in your life. Self Reflection Self reflection is not much different than self awareness and they are very much connected to each other. The definition of self reflection is the exercising of introspection, coupled with the willingness to learn about yourself, in order to help achieve self awareness. Self reflection is something that has been practiced from the early days of man and is deeply rooted in philosophy. Self reflection in the world of philosophy refers to the understanding of your mentality, beliefs, and life desires. According to philosophical beliefs on self reflection, all of our thoughts and sensations come with beliefs that have an effect the fact that we are having those thoughts and beliefs (Locke, 1689). That may sound complicated but honestly, it is a very simple concept. Simply put, our thoughts and beliefs are directly impacted by the emotions and sensations that come with those beliefs. This is why it is important to self reflect and become self aware. Conclusion Again, a book cannot teach you how to do these things. However, a book can help you to figure out how to get there yourself. There are also many self help programs to guide you on your journey. Your journey can also be aided by talking with a professional counselor. The importance of learning self awareness and self refection cannot be stressed enough as they will help you to be a better person for yourself and those whom you love.