I have spent many years getting to know individuals. Called individuals as all are actually unique in their own rights. We need to accept each other's individuality. No one comes as part of the "cookie cutter" image. We like the idea that our partner in life is going to behave in a certain way, look a certain way, earn a certain wage and be working at a certain job. We are disappointed and sometimes very angry when these, so called certainties, are not met. We try hard to change and control our partner. We are even more angry when this does not work. What is the matter? My partner no longer loves me, is having an affair as a result? I need to try to either change myself or all is lost. Then what will happen to our children if it all falls apart?
I was born in South Africa.
I helped people that were having difficulties in their relationships. I do not, for a moment think that I have all the answers but I have some. I am 64, have lived life, made mistakes and hopefully become wiser for having gone through them and survived.
I have been trained how to help others but the actual inert need to help others in need must exist. If it is not, all the training in the world, will not enable anyone to help another going through the agony of a relationship that is falling apart.
My qualifications include a degree in psychiatry. I trained in Canada. In psychiatry I made psychotherapy my main area of expertise. I was born to help others in need. To help them understand themselves better and then have some chance of understanding another person as well.
In the beautiful city of Kelowna, I qualified as a Registered Professional Counsellor and Master Counsellor through the Canadian Professional Counsellors Association.
I had left psychiatry and the prescribing of pills, that really did very little good, behind.
So many psychiatrists had forgotten the art of really LISTENING to their patients. They did not get to know who their patients really were.
The Psychosocial Model of training had been abandoned. Patients slipped through the cracks as far as their needs were concerned. Many never returned as they new this form of help was not for them.
I listen to each person in a relationship. I try to help them to begin with respect for each other.
Then we look at the issue of total acceptance of each other. To let each be them be their own selves.
We then look at emotions. The most prominent one being anger. We learn how to express anger in ways that do not devastate the other. We look at conflict resolution. They go home and practise all these "tools". Then we meet again and practise some more. Eventually the partners figure out how to stay in the relationship they began together.
As well I work with individuals with their own individual issues.
As a form of therapy, I place great stead in CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy).
We all want to understand why we think the thoughts we do.
Some of us want to change our behaviours as a result.
If you find that any of what I have written, resonates for you. You have found the therapist that can help you.
Make the contact. Welcome to my practise.
Dr. Lynleigh Immelman ReachesWestbank West Kelowna BCPeachland BC