Anger Management and Counselling in Kelowna, BC.

By learning to recognize and understand your anger you will take back control of both your emotions and your actions. Anger will no longer take over your relationships, and you will be able to focus on being the person you want to be. Without the burden of unhelpful emotions you will create space for more enjoyable and helpful experiences. The first step is recognizing your anger-- the next step is addressing it.

My approach is to use a step-by-step process that follows an evidence based approach: goal setting; self awareness; cognitive reframing; behavioural modification; review of progress. Fundamental to the work is a good therapeutic relationship. That is, we have the collaboration and trust to combine your knowledge of yourself and your situation and my skills and knowledge of the clinical issues to make change happen.

As a counsellor I have been helping people understand and manage anger for 25 yrs. My approach includes family of origin work, exploring the way we think and how this impacts our feelings and actions as well as understanding the goal of our anger. We would identify your history around expression of feelings/correction, triggers and raw spots in relationships in order to find new ways of coping and expressing our needs and wants. I want to be able to provide a safe, non-judgenmental approach that will also help you to be more gentle with yourself and others.

Our anger can be a sentry, a protector and a wise indicator that our boundaries have been transgressed or that something vitally important to us is threatened. It can also be a raging tyrant, a short fuse, a simmering internalisation that off-gases through passive-aggression, or a childish tantrum. Becoming intimate with our anger is synonymous with becoming intimidate with our power. In anger therapy, we will work to understand the unique way your anger process happens through somatic awareness, mindfulness and emotional intimacy. We will look at your history with anger, your family lineage, and you will learn tools to channel this fire in ways that support rather than hinder your life.

Anger management counseling can help to identify stressors and learn the steps to stay calm in the face of anger. The goal is to handle tense situations in more constructive and positive ways by reducing the emotional and physical arousal that anger can cause. It will provide the tools to take back your life and resolve the triggers that result in unplanned anger reactions.

A response to life's events falls upon a continuum from neutral to highly-reactive. At times anger, Gandhi called it "Righteous Indignation," is necessary to respond to injustices or inappropriate behaviours. However, uncontrolled, inappropriate anger is destructive to one's self and others. Mindfulness and Metta (Loving Kindness) meditations are excellent tools to deal with anger. Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) also called Tapping, along with skillful use of affirmations can help to cool the fires of anger. The benefits of anger management lead to a regulating of emotions and thus a gaining of peace of mind, positive relationships, career and family security.

Grey Matters International and the work of Kevin J. Fleming, Ph.D approaches issues of anger management in a very humane yet fresh perspective. You see, anger is a normal emotion but it is the valence (intensity) as well as the coupling choice of what one does with this that is the problem. Telling someone to "not" do it or modifying behavior with a trite psychological plan that only breeds a compliant response is not the way to change anger. Brainwave optimization is a new cutting edge technology that allows one to rewire circuitry responsible for reactivity driving the anger. Contact Grey Matters International, Inc now at kevin@kevinflemingphd.com or 877-606-6161.

Anger and violence are wildly misunderstood issues. I believe that it is important to explore the context in which the anger or violence occurs. For example, does it happen at home, or at work, or in public? Who is impacted by the anger or violence? How do the individuals who are impacted resist and respond to the anger/violence? Through counselling we will explore the context of the interactions. Once we understand the context (who is doing what to who?) I will respectfully invite responsibility taking and strategies for more helpful communication and responses.

I believe that anger, as an emotion, is often misunderstood; and because of this, feared. Pushed to our limits, we might say or do things that hurt others or the ones we love, adding shame and loss right into the mix. Because of this, we might work hard to avoid it, push it away, or appease it - feeding into a cycle, keeping us stuck. I help clients to make sense of their experience, in a new, non-judgemental way in order to regain a sense of control, de-escalate and self-regulate, and to use anger effectively, as it was intended.

We look at the family of origin and how expressions of anger were assimilated by the client. I explore a client's style of expressing anger and teach appropriate methods of assertiveness rather than passive, aggressive, or passive-aggressive methods. I explore and heal the shame and negative core beliefs that lead to unhealthy expressions of anger.

Anger issues can both result from distress in relationships and precipitate distress. Support in addressing anger issues can have a signifiacant positive impact on overall relationship functioning. The fact that relationships are one of our primary coping mechanisms multiplies the potential distress when anger is present as it impacts the very mechanisms we use to cope.

Acquiring support for Anger Management helps you move through life's challenges and also helps create better relationships in your life. Together we dig a little deeper to find out what's the root cause of your anger and then apply a variety of tools to your toolbox to cope day by day. A straight forward approach is what I strive for. No sugar coating.

We get angry, all of us! It is an emotion that we cannot avoid. However, we must learn to manage our anger related behaviours. They are not reflexive! They are often without careful consideration but they are not reflexive. However, we can learn to be angry, frustrated or upset respectfully, intelligently and productively. We can learn a little emotional regulation. It takes time and practice but most of all it requires that we accept that we have no right to such bad behaviour, that we are all equal in our humanity and that whatever the offense, two wrong don't make a right. Sourcing the anger and self control are key. This is a challenging passage. Come visit we can chat!

I offer Cognitive Behavioral Therapy that examine the relationship between triggers, thoughts/beliefs, and emotional reactions such as angry outbursts. You will explore concepts associated with how thoughts have been negatively impacted by past experiences, as well as how specific triggers and thoughts contribute to emotional dysregulation. You also will identify strategies in sessions to apply to real life situations. You will learn why anger was once adaptive to keep you safe when younger but is now maladaptive. Developing a better understanding of anger will make it easier to develop strategies helpful in managing your emotional reactions and using alternate behaviors to cope/stay safe.

Anger is one of the most valuable emotions that we have but it is also the most misunderstood. There is sometimes a false sense of power generated with anger, however speaking or acting from a place of anger will often almost guarantee our needs with respect to anger will not be met.. Often in an attempt to "manage' anger we are actually either trying to suppress it or to vent it. Either of these options are usually counter productive. Instead if we see anger as a warning light on the 'dashboard', alerting us to deeper emotions at the root of anger we can transform it and use it in a productive and helpful way.

Individuals struggling to manage anger can be exhausting and overwhelming; often there is a significant negative effect on others in their life. We will work to uncover where the intense anger is originating from and heal. We will also wok to develop new skills and tools to manage emotional situations in a more positive an effective way. It is also important to work to heal the damage to loved ones whom have been affected.

Did you know that anger is the healthy response to injustice? & That it is there for a very valuable purpose? & That if unexpressed, it can actually result in anxiety, depression, & even physical illness? This is called "anger turned inward, & it causes havoc inside of us. Ever feel yourself going from "0 to 100" at something someone says or does, & it shocks even you? This is "anger turned outward" & is also a result of unexpressed anger. Anger has a way of "leaking out" at unexpected moments & with unexpected intensity, hurting our relationships. If you have found yourself experiencing either of these, please contact me. You can be free from these forces that seem to control you!

Anger management counseling can help to identify stressors and learn the steps to stay calm in the face of anger. The goal is to handle tense situations in more constructive and positive ways by reducing the emotional and physical arousal that anger can cause. It will provide the tools to take back your life and resolve the triggers that result in unplanned anger reactions.

Sometimes our emotions seem uncontrollable. Even though you do not mean to, anger outbursts or physical violence can leave those we love the most hurt and scarred. Anger management is about learning about emotions. By understanding the root of our anger, and specifically what "triggers" you have, you can come up with a unique plan. By stopping the anger cycle before you explode, or finding better ways to cool off, you can live better with others.

Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) specifically focuses on providing clients with skills in four specific areas: Mindfulness, Distress Tolerance, Emotional Regulation, and Interpersonal Effectiveness. It is widely used to successfully treat many issues including anger management issues, domestic violence, PTSD, Substance Abuse, and Depression. We work with the individual to teach them how to manage and alter intense emotions, increase their ability to tolerate negative emotions, and communicate effectively in a non-emotional manner

Anger is a healthy and natural emotion. There is a time and place for anger (victimization); however, when we use anger to try to control our environment, it causes us problems in our personal and professional lives. Anger will control the way you think and distorted thinking affects behaviour in negative ways. Our counsellors will help you learn what is in your control to change and help you let go of the rest. For many, the anger response is as natural as needing to scratch when we have an itch. Clients will learn the skills and tools necessary to clean up their distorted thinking and beliefs and learn to improve their overall happiness.

Many people are stuck in highly activated states such as anxiety, anger or tension in the body. This is due to the fact that the parasympathetic part of your nervous system is not functioning as well as it could. Using somatic experiencing therapy, Robin can effectively help you to build more capacity so that your body can return to a more settled state and sense of well being. You will learn the tools to quickly deescalate your anger and gain the ability to make healthier choices on how to express that anger.

When anger gets the best of us, we can say and/or do things that we later wish we could change or take back. Anger is an instinctive universal emotion, one in which we all have, but not all expressions of anger have to be hurt. In fact, anger works as a great informant and can motivate us to take action to improve our own lives and the lives of people that we care about.

“Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.” Ambrose Bierce Anger is often an intense emotional response that can negatively affect people’s lives. Many people struggle to manage and express their anger effectively due to often intense and overwhelming feelings. Families, work, friendships and one’s personal well-being can be destroyed unintentionally along the way. Although we cannot control anger provoking situations, we can learn step by step techniques for successfully and efficiently managing them. Through counselling we will work to access the issues provoking anger and outbursts, and develop tools to identify and effectively manage emotional triggers. When needed, we will also work with families and...(view profile to read more)

Anger is just the tip of the ice-berg--the part that we see. Below the surface can be a number of things, such as guilt, frustration, overwhelm, insecurity, hunger or lack of sleep, sadness and others. Together we can explore what lies beneath the anger and focus on tools and strategies to deal with it. You can control your anger so it no longer controls you.