Anger Management and Counselling in North Cowichan, BC.

I work with adults and youth from a Trauma-Informed and culturally sensitive perspective. My focus in counselling is to provide education about anger and unhealthy behavior, emotional dysregulation, developing empathy for self and others; understanding personal limits, establishing healthy boundaries, and resolving conflict through improved communication and emotional regulation skills. I work within a Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) framework.

“Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.” Ambrose Bierce Anger is often an intense emotional response that can negatively affect people’s lives. Many people struggle to manage and express their anger effectively due to often intense and overwhelming feelings. Families, work, friendships and one’s personal well-being can be destroyed unintentionally along the way. Although we cannot control anger provoking situations, we can learn step by step techniques for successfully and efficiently managing them. Through counselling we will work to access the issues provoking anger and outbursts, and develop tools to identify and effectively manage emotional triggers. When needed, we will also work with families and...(view profile to read more)

When anger gets the best of us, we can say and/or do things that we later wish we could change or take back. Anger is an instinctive universal emotion, one in which we all have, but not all expressions of anger have to be hurt. In fact, anger works as a great informant and can motivate us to take action to improve our own lives and the lives of people that we care about.

Anger can be a reaction to a range of experiences, from past traumas to present-day stressors, and EMDR can help to desensitize and reprocess these experiences, reducing the intensity of the emotional response. Through the use of bilateral stimulation, such as eye movements or tapping, EMDR can help to process the distressing memories and emotions, leading to increased emotional regulation and a greater sense of control over one's emotional response. By addressing the underlying emotional triggers, EMDR can help to alleviate symptoms of anger and promote more adaptive coping strategies.

A response to life's events falls upon a continuum from neutral to highly-reactive. At times anger, Gandhi called it "Righteous Indignation," is necessary to respond to injustices or inappropriate behaviours. However, uncontrolled, inappropriate anger is destructive to one's self and others. Mindfulness and Metta (Loving Kindness) meditations are excellent tools to deal with anger. Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) also called Tapping, along with skillful use of affirmations can help to cool the fires of anger. The benefits of anger management lead to a regulating of emotions and thus a gaining of peace of mind, positive relationships, career and family security.

I am honoured that you are interested in my services and I would like to tell you a little bit about myself. I have been described as slightly non-conventional in the counselling world, which suits me perfectly, and also tends to suit youth who are trying to stand up to the force of the problems in their life. I am very comfortable working with this population, and I feel fortunate that I can connect with teens the way I do, conventionally or in a way that makes sense to them.

We all experience difficulties from time to time in managing our emotions. We feel anger, frustration, anxiety and irritation. When not properly managed we may experience stress, burnout, and feel unsatisfied with life. Our relationships and parenting skills may suffer. Sometimes this is due to us having too many issues to deal with at once, lack of supports in our lives; and when not taught to us, a lack of skills or resources to cope. Seeking the support of a counsellor can help. I have facilitated anger management workshops, and provided one on one counselling to teach coping and management skills. As a former Forensic Therapist, I am qualified to provide court ordered treatment.

Anger and violence are wildly misunderstood issues. I believe that it is important to explore the context in which the anger or violence occurs. For example, does it happen at home, or at work, or in public? Who is impacted by the anger or violence? How do the individuals who are impacted resist and respond to the anger/violence? Through counselling we will explore the context of the interactions. Once we understand the context (who is doing what to who?) I will respectfully invite responsibility taking and strategies for more helpful communication and responses.

Anger often masks other emotions such as sadness, and shame. I work to uncover what is behind acting out in anger to address the root cause. At the same time, I provide ample opportunity for the learning of new skills in order to master how to regulate intense emotions. Benefits include no longer feeling burdened by anger and resentment as well as improved relationships with those around you.

Anger is not an abnormal reaction, but did you know that it is most often not your first response? In other words, it's what is generated when your first emotional reaction to something or someone isn't identified and dealt with. I help people to understand their primary emotions and then find ways to express them with greater clarity and healthier actions. We'll also explore when anger is appropriate and how you can use that energy to confront whatever you see as the cause in a safer, more effective way. You will never look at anger the same way again.