Anger Management and Counseling in San Francisco, CA.

You cannot always control how you feel, but you can learn how to control how you react to those feelings. Dealing with overwhelming emotions, such as anger, for a long time can be frustrating and have negative impact on important areas of your life, such as career and relationships. I can help you develop effective skills to manage your emotional reactions in healthier ways and in turn reduce prolonged suffering.

Free 30 minute zoom call - Anger is a powerful emotion AND it's an energy we feel in our bodies. Generally, stress hormones like adrenaline and cortisol are running through Anger can tell us that something isn't right in the current moment. It may also be the result of childhood trauma. When unresolved, this anger continues into adulthood. There are many ways that anger can be addressed - through changing thoughts & beliefs, learning to express feelings & needs and using brain science and nervous system education, clients can learn to calm & soothe themselves or what is called, "regulate the nervous system"

Anger is wired into all of us and is essential for survival. It is an intelligent emotion. It can also be incredibly destructive. Most of the time, it is a secondary emotion which means that an unmet need or another emotion is the driving force behind our anger. I will help you to safely identify what is behind your anger and give you tools to effectively regulate it. (I will also help you heal and enhance any relationships previously damaged by your anger.)

I help people struggling with anger management by working with them to develop awareness of their anger experience in their body and mind and how it is impacting their body. I help you learn and practice strategies for regulating your body and mind so you do not lose control of the anger. I help you to learn healthy communication of anger, and the development of conflict resolution skills. I support you in exploring issues of transference from past relationships and experiences that may be contributing to your strong feelings of anger in present circumstances and relationships. We create safety, increase positive expression of anger, and reduce or eliminate sources of anger when possible!

Anger is a normal emotion that can lead to negative outcomes in your life and relationships is not effectively managed. Through therapeutic support, I help clients recognize the underlying roots of anger and provide practical tools and coping strategies to feel more in control over your thoughts, feelings and emotions using cognitive behavioral therapy and regulation management. CBT is one of the most widely effective choices for working with anger. *Please note-This is not anger management class nor do I provide court ordered anger management services.

Grey Matters International and the work of Kevin J. Fleming, Ph.D approaches issues of anger management in a very humane yet fresh perspective. You see, anger is a normal emotion but it is the valence (intensity) as well as the coupling choice of what one does with this that is the problem. Telling someone to "not" do it or modifying behavior with a trite psychological plan that only breeds a compliant response is not the way to change anger. Brainwave optimization is a new cutting edge technology that allows one to rewire circuitry responsible for reactivity driving the anger. Contact Grey Matters International, Inc now at kevin@kevinflemingphd.com or 877-606-6161.

Anger can be a difficult beast to manage that can fracture or relationships and create guilt and shame, but it is possible to treat it. With the aid of tools like EMDR CBT and guided visualizations I can help you overcome this issue and heal from the issues that drive it. Additionally, I can provide tools, coping skills, and other resources to help you manage this particular issue.

Anger is a damn tricky emotion. It can feel like it takes the driver's seat when it comes. It can feel terrible and bitter, or powerful and justified. However it feels, you probably already know that it can be hurtful to those around you and ultimately to yourself. Managing the immediate feeling of anger so you don't do and say things you regret is part of the answer, but not all of it. We need to figure out what makes you angry. There are often understandable reasons to be angry, but it helps to know why you are, because you don't want to end up expressing it toward the wrong people or to a level of severity that doesn't make sense.

I do not believe in "anger management". Instead, I believe in being in control of your emotions - including anger. My clients discover how to be in control of their feelings of anger or rage - instead of the anger or rage controlling them. My clients discover how they can feel anger, but then choose more effective and productive ways of expressing themselves - in ways that no longer lead to regret or hurt - but rather in ways they feel proud and good about.

My approach to anger management is helping my client see what the underlying feelings, thoughts, and beliefs are that are driving them to act out there feelings through anger, and learn how to drop beneath the anger to the fear and/or pain that always underlies anger. Through doing this we can learn to express our vulnerability and share our feelings in a safe and healthy manner.

As a culture, we do not do well with healthy expressions of anger. Often we are raised to suppress it and then we have limited practice at dealing with big emotion. There is a spectrum of healthy aggression- to keep us safe and to maintain boundaries- and rage- our body's strategy for safety. Anger management is about applying the right "dosing" to maintain boundaries yet not fracture relationships or suffer other losses. I am able to help you learn to regulate your body to be able to apply the appropriate "dose" to be effective and not destructive.