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Networking has a new meaning in today's job market... The Past In the past, some of the best insight into whether a person would be a good fit for a company has been personal interviews, positive personal references, IQ tests, and personality testing. In our technologically changing world, there are new ways to gather this sort of information. Social networking, data-mining, and even games and videos can be used to collect information about how people deal with various situations, how they multi-task, and even, to some degree, intelligence. [1] The Present The most popular vehicle for employers to seek insight into a candidate has been the professional networking site, LinkedIn. According to an article written by Tomas Chamorro-Premuzic and Christopher Steinmetz, LinkedIn offers the professional the personal reference through its use of the “Endorsements” feature. An employer looking for a candidate can now see the resume, and references, as well as interests before making contact with the candidate. This saves time in the hiring process. A 2012 study by psychologists Jamie Guillory and Jeffery Hancock at Cornell University found that public resumes on LinkedIn foster more honesty with regard to work experience than the tradition paper resume, because it is public, and can more easily be called to question by family and friends. However, interests or hobbies that are not known as objectively were not as honest. In addition to LinkedIn, there are several other ways an employer can seek information about a person. Looking at blogs, Facebook, and Twitter give a glimpse into a person’s character and interests, but can also create a bias based on looks, or interests that would not matter in the work environment, and would not come up in a face to face interview. The Future? New technology could take the social networking we currently use even further with data mining. Data mining is software used to derive insight to make evidenced-based decisions. Companies such as TweetPsych and YouAreWhatYouLike use Twitter and Facebook to create a personality profile for an individual based on the individual’s activity on those social networks with amazing accuracy. Psychologist Michal Kosinski of the University of Cambridge published an analysis suggesting that the accuracy is greater than 75% for predicting gender, sexual orientation, religion, and political preference. While the percentage is lower for personality traits and intelligence, it is still significantly accurate in estimating IQ and personality. [2] Another tool for networking is a video offered by companies like EnRecruit and Spark Hire, which asks candidates questions on video, and employers can evaluate their responses in private. This offers a time savings, and a standardized interviewing process. Additionally, gaming can also predict character traits through situational behavior. This engaging innovation allows a candidate to play a game that analyses their choices and categorizes job skills and personality traits. The company, Knack, bases personality profiles on research from behavioral scientists who have mapped certain responses in the game with job skills. As an example, the game “Wasabi Waiter” can measure many skills such as the ability to multi-task, and remember details. Reckitt Benckiser, a multinational consumer goods company, uses the game “Insanely Driven” to profile personality. Players must handle tough situations in a race that measures personality, ambition, sensitivity, and prudence. This game bases assessment on the five-factor model Hogan Personality Inventory. L’Oreal uses the game “Reveal” for its cosmetics company. This game is used to discover people based on the qualities such as Risk taking, analytical skills, and more. Additionally, there are databases that can assess what people are saying about an individual. These sites like Topsy and Klout can be used to see an individual’s influence on the world. Can This Innovation Shape the Job Market? There are pros and cons to all of this new technology. On one hand, employers can save time scheduling, and sifting through papers to find the perfect fit for their company. Candidates can avoid some of the anxiety of interviews, and loss of self-esteem from rejections. It streamlines the process of hiring, while making it a bit more evidence based. On the other hand, it also requires a loss of privacy for the person looking for a job. Companies would need access to the information that is normally private or protected by password. Another problem with the new technology is that people are not willing to give up that privacy in an age so tight on security. It also tends to limit the human contact even further than we have already in our gadget run world. Whether a job seeker wants to use the old resume and cover letter, or cutting edge new networking innovations, a career counselor can help research the best career match, based on a person’s individual qualities, and skills, as well as aid in finding the right tools for the job search in our ever changing job market. ________________________________________________________________ [1] Chamorro-Premuzic, Tomas, and Christopher Steinmetz. "The Perfect Hire." Scientific American Mind July-Aug. 2013: 43-47. [2] Kosinski, Michael, David Stillwell, and Thore Graepel. "Private Traits and Attributes Are Predictable from Digital Records of Human Behavior." Private Traits and Attributes Are Predictable from Digital Records of Human Behavior. PNAS, 11 Mar. 2013. Web. 06 July 2013.

There is a lot of hype about social media, and I understand its advantages. I have a network of friends across the globe that I can tap into within seconds. I can Skype my sister in California, Facebook my friend in New York, Tweet to my former classmate in London, and comment on my boyfriend’s Instagram photo taken in Winnipeg – all with very little effort. The Dawn of Social Media This digital connectivity is a historically recent phenomenon. Its beginnings trace back to 1991, when Tim Berners-Lee connected hypertext technology with the Internet, leading to the creation of the World Wide Web.[1] Soon, email replaced snail mail and weblogs replaced printed diaries and journals. New communities formed online, creating alternate means of social interaction. A decade later, Web 2.0, a term coined by Darcy DiNucci,[2] shifted the dynamics of virtual communities. Instead of only allowing Internet users to passively read online content, Web 2.0 now permitted individuals to actively interact as creators of user-generated content. Today, social media outlets – such as Facebook, Twitter, Google+, LinkedIn, and Skype – form a large part of social interactions. How Social is Social Media? We have witnessed a series of technological breakthroughs, but has there been a corresponding social breakthrough? Has social media contributed to us becoming more social? Proponents of social media suggest that it has enhanced our relationships. Rainie et al., for instance, claim that individuals should not fear the Internet; rather, if they learn how to network effectively online, they can benefit from endless possibilities to offer support, exchange information, and converse with people all across the globe.[3] But while online communities can produce a greater quantity of personal contacts, they tend to diminish the quality of interactions. Malcolm Gladwell is critical of the laziness that social media encourages. He argues that it is so easy for people to participate in social networks that they end up devoting less time and energy to their interactions with others.[4] Social media eases connectivity, but connectivity is not the same as connection. I can instant message my father in Guadalajara, but our online conversation will only scratch the surface of a deep father-daughter connection. The bases of profound relationships – such as trust, commitment, and compatibility – are difficult to strengthen via pixels on sleek displays, no matter how aesthetically appealing and user-friendly they might look. As pointed out by Monserrat, a person's tone of voice and body language is essential to forming strong relationships.[5] It is easy to ‘like’ a friend’s Facebook photo, but it takes more time and involvement to show someone that you sincerely care about their well-being. Some interactions on social media can even produce anti-social behaviours. A survey conducted by VitalSmart revealed that 1 in 5 individuals has blocked, unsubscribed, or unfriended someone else due to an online quarrel.[6] In other words, bullying, rudeness, and disrespect have permeated a medium intended to foster favorable social interactions. Therapists: Listening Ears to Deaf Crowds Means of communication are changing quickly, and therapists should reflect on how to respond to this new age of hyper-interconnectivity. They should not fear social media, but they should understand its strengths and weaknesses. Participating in online networks can help build a therapist’s practice, allow for up-to-date exchanges of information, as well as produce healthy dialogues about mental health issues. However, therapists should also recognize that – perhaps more than ever – they have unique contribution to make to the quality of people’s lives. Fast-paced lifestyles combined with superficial virtual communities can produce social alienation, causing many to disconnect from others and even from themselves. For some, a therapist might be the only person who can offer a full hour of their time to listen to their story, provide helpful insights, and encourage them along their journey – all without the interruption of Tweets, Facebook messages, Instagram photos, and LinkedIn updates. Therapists offer a breath of fresh air in a world polluted by restless online hyperactivity. [1] Van Dijck, J. 2013. The Culture of Connectivity: A Critical History of Social Media. New York: Oxford UP, pp 5. [2] DiNucci, D. 1999. Fragmented Future, Print Magazine. pp 32, 221-2. [3] Rainie, H., L. Rainie, and B. Vellman. 2012. Networked: The New Social Operating System. Cambridge, MA: MIT Press, pp. 255. [4] Gladwell, M. Small Change, The New Yorker, [online] Available at: <http://www.newyorker.com/reporting/2010/10/04/101004 fa_fact_gladwell> [Accessed 30 June 2013]. [5] Monserrat, A. Leadership Means Face-to-Face, Not Facebook, Forbes, [online] Available at: < http://www.forbes.com/sites/forbesleadershipforum/2011/ 08/29/the-social-media-fallacy-real-leadership-means-face-to-face-not-facebook/> [Accessed 30 June 2013]. [6] People more likely to be rude on social media; affects friendships in real life. Daily News, 10 April 2013. [online] Available at: <http://www.nydailynews.com/life-style/friendships-cut-short-social-media-article-1.1312747#ixzz2XjSTFeew> [Accessed on 30 June 2013].

WHAT IS ANXIETY? To understand anxiety, let’s look at fear first. Fear is a protective mechanism and an appropriate reaction to a real danger. Anxiety is a reaction to a perceived danger or threat and becomes a problem when magnified out of proportion. Some of the symptoms that may be experienced with excessive anxiety are: panic and fear sleep problems obsessive thoughts heart palpitations compulsive behaviors sweating ANXIETY IS TAKING OVER YOUR LIFE When anxiety is taking over your life you feel overwhelmed, helpless and out of control. Worrying takes up more and more of your time and energy. You know that some of your thoughts and behaviors are unreasonable, but can't stop them. Anxiety shows itself in many ways. You may have panic attacks, phobias, obsessive thoughts or compulsive behaviors. Loneliness and isolation are becoming your frequent companions. It's hard to explain and often embarrassing to tell your family and friends what you're going through and hard for them to understand. This is not the life you want to live. YOU WONDER WHY YOU ARE SO ANXIOUS You wonder, "Why me? Why can't I stop this?". Self-blame comes in..... You need to know that you are not the only one. One out of six people experience significant symptoms of anxiety at some point in their lives. There are several factors that can cause or increase anxiety. YOU WONDER WHERE THE ANXIETY COMES FROM There is a strong biological component to anxiety. Often, when there is a parent who is worrying excessively about their child being anxious, that parent probably has a history of being “a worrier” too. And if you go back another generation, one of those grandparents very likely had some “worries of their own”. In addition to the biological sensitivity to anxiety, the environment that the child grows up in is a contributing factor to the anxiety. When a parent is anxious, the child will absorb some of this anxiety, increasing his own. Other stressors and traumas that one has experienced over time will contribute to the increasing anxiety. HOW YOU HANDLE IT Anxiety may be new to you, or you may have struggled with anxiety for a long time, maybe your entire life. You try to handle it the best way you can. Sometimes you avoid the situation or the people you are feeling uncomfortable with. You try to live with it, live around it, sometimes just suffering through it. Your fears take over, you keep obsessing. You try not to worry, you know you shouldn't worry so much, but you can't seem to stop. You've tried different ways to lessen your anxieties and decrease your stress and maybe even tried some therapies to cope with it, but with only some success. WHAT NOW? You're frustrated and wondering if there is a way out. Is there really anything that can make a difference?.... The answer is yes. Even if you have a biological predisposition to anxiety, have anxiety in your family, or have experienced trauma in your life, you can recover from this. There is help for anxiety. There are different strategies and therapies that do help.... These are several of the unique and powerful therapies that I have found to be most effective in my work in helping to reduce anxiety: Percussive Suggestion Technique (PSTEC) Meridian Tapping Therapies / EFT SandPlay Therapy Heart Rate Variability Therapy For more information about these therapies and additional articles on anxiety, please visit my website at CounselingbytheShore.com. Give yourself the chance to live the life that you really want to live. I specialize in working with parent and children experiencing anxiety. My goal isto help you to decrease your anxiety and that of your child. I use innovative andcreative therapies that will help to resolve distressing feelings either of you areexperiencing. If you have any questions about this article or would like to discussany concerns that you have, please feel free to contact me at the phone number oremail address below. Elaine M. Corona, MSW, LCSWCounseling by the Shore, LLC509 Main Street- Suite 2Avon-by-the-Sea, NJ 07717(732) 233-9026 CounselingbytheShore@gmail.comCounselingbytheShore.com©

By Debra Bacon Theravive.com Contributor When a breakup occurs, picking up the pieces of our life can be a daunting task. It may seem impossible to imagine feeling “normal” again. The pain associated with a breakup can leave us feeling overwhelmed, confused, lonely and sad. No matter the cause of the breakup, it disrupts your life in ways that are unsettling. However, there are ways to grow and learn from the experience, as you process the loss. Overcoming loss A breakup--whether a long-term dating relationship, or divorce--wreaks havoc on your emotions. The void left in your life after calling it quits is not easy to fill. It is very important to take care of yourself during this time. After a relationship fails, feelings of intense grief, stress and regret over lost dreams and shared goals set in. Things are unfamiliar, and other relationships are affected. How to handle relationships with mutual friends and extended family members of whom you have become close too can be difficult and stressful to determine. You may even question you own identity. Depending on the length of time together, more often than not, you shared everything from activities, to dining and hanging out. You may begin to stress over questions like: How will you fill your time? What will it be like to be alone? Will you ever find someone else, or even want to? Don’t go it alone. Reach out to your family and close friends for support or join a support group. Bottling up your feelings will only heighten stress levels. Don’t be afraid to seek professional counseling. Allow feelings. The idea of allowing ourselves to feel the hurt in our heart and mind is almost unbearable. However, it is a necessary step in grieving. You may experience feeling of anger, resentment, sadness, relief, fear, and confusion. Recognize these feelings and realize where and why they are present. Work through it. Keep a journal. Writing down your feelings helps hash things out in your mind. Often it provides an outlet for frustration, or a place to record our future hopes and milestones. Be honest with yourself in your journa l. Don’t allow guilt to overcome you on the days you feel fine or you feel a renewed spirit within you. Relish them, there are more to come as healing progresses. Take things slowly. Give yourself a break. It is okay to feel differently than before. Rediscover your passions in life and slowly begin to venture out and act on them. Remember to take things one step at a time, one day at a time. Healing takes time, be kind to yourself, and remember you will move past the hurt. You can make it. Lessons learned From every crisis, an open door is before us, and a closed one behind. Take this time in between the two, to grow emotionally and spiritually. There will come a time when you will reflect on things you have learned from the experience. To completely reconcile yourself from the breakup and move on, it is important to understand what happened and what role each of you played in the relationship, and ultimate breakup. As you begin to heal and apply lessons learned from your decisions, you are likely not to make the same mistakes again.

By Debra Bacon Theravive.com Contributor Time becomes our taskmaster Living in a society where our time is invaded at every turn, whether from cell phones, faxes, computers, skype, IMs, text, or other signals crossing our sphere, burnout is a real concern. Burnout occurs when what you are doing, just doesn’t work for you anymore. Your once enthusiastic approach to a task now drains you, or feelings of apathy are more the norm, rather than hope and success. When juggling work, family and social lives, time can become our taskmaster instead of our friend. Finding balance in your life will liberate you, and allow you to overcome burnout. Signs of burnout Often, when burnout, people drive themselves harder to makeup for deficits emotionally, physical or otherwise. Denial that a problem exists is common; therefore, identifying signs of burnout is important to our emotional and physical health. Five signs of burnout: Irritability When a person feels out of control or unable to mange their life, work or family commitments as desired, they can become troubled. Often this is manifested in the form or irritation or aggravation. When burnout occurs, this state is more constant. You may lash out at co-workers or loved ones. Trouble sleeping Being stressed out and have multiple deadlines or unfinished business, can make it difficult to fall asleep or stay asleep. Sleep deprivation will cause you to perform poorly. Lack of energy As burnout creeps in, your energy level drops. A lack of caring or concern sets in, and productivity goes down the drain. Concentration issues Problems concentrating are common with burnout. When faced with overwhelming schedules and tasks, concentrating can be difficult. Emotional distress When someone is burnout, being overly emotional is common. For example, you may burst into tears over a seemingly minor incident. On the other hand, you can begin to isolate yourself, and show no emotion to varying circumstances. Either can lead to depression. Overcoming burnout Identifying burnout is only part of the solution. Overcoming burnout takes commitment and work on your part. Below are some practical solutions you can implement in your life to eliminate burnout, and enrich your life. Five steps to balance: Learn to say NO Over commitment is common, and a part of the reason people burnout. While it is important to please the boss, assess your current workload before saying yes to the next deadline. Perhaps you should allow someone else to drive the soccer team to and from games, or provide the snacks. Get moving Putting exercise in your schedule can make a world of difference. Exercise helps eliminate stress, clears the mind and keeps the body fit. Prioritize Assess what you are responsible for presently, and make a list. Evaluate and eliminate. Complete outstanding items that are most important or pressing, and delegate less important tasks to others as appropriate. Get support A healthy, happy life includes people we enjoy being around; those that bring joy and positive support to our lives. Identify the people that make up your support system. Others are in our lives to help us, co-workers, family, friends, clergy and counselors. Let go Learn to let go of things you cannot control. You cannot save the world. Let go of any guilt you may feel about not being able to do it all.