It
is the holiday season, the most wonderful time of the year. Or, is it? For most
people, being an immigrant means that they are far away from their family and
friends abroad. During the holiday season, when family and friendship values
are the highlights of the celebration, it
is hard not to feel sad and lonely.
It
does not matter whether our relocation was voluntary, as in the case of
tourists, migrant workers, and students,
or a forced relocation, as in the case of forced migrants (people from
crisis-struck or poor countries) and refugees. Whatever our story is, and where
we come from, we all sometimes get sad and lonely when we are thinking about
our home abroad. However, it is especially difficult to deal with those
feelings during the holiday season, when we are already facing so many
different stressors.
During
the holiday season, feelings of
homesickness can lead, or contribute, to the holiday blues phenomenon.
Consequently, this can cause significant challenges on different levels of our
functioning in our everyday life. However, it is important to note that the
holiday blues phenomenon does not affect only immigrants, it may affect every
and each one of us. Being an immigrant just increases the chances of
experiencing the holiday blues.
What are the Symptoms and Effects?
We
can experience the symptoms and effects of homesickness on multiple levels in our
everyday lives at cognitive, behavioral,
emotional, physical, and functional levels. Given that they can affect our everyday
lives, as well as our productivity, and our relationships with ourselves and
others, it is important to become aware of these symptoms and their effects as
soon as possible. Only when we are aware that there is a problem, can we begin
to work on it.
On a cognitive
level, we may experience:
-obsessive thoughts about home
-negative
thoughts about the new home
-absent-mindedness
-the tendency to idealize home abroad rather than
revisiting the problems encountered prior to leaving
-pessimistic thoughts
-thoughts
about inadequacy and failure
On a behavioral
level, we may experience:
-changes
in sleeping and eating patterns
-poor
ability to concentrate and focus
-becoming
withdrawn and isolated
-tearfulness
-being
without any interest in the new
environment
-seeking
refuge in alcohol, tobacco, drugs, shopping, etc.
On emotional level, we may experience:
-sadness
-loneliness
-irritability
-anger
-jealousy
-shame
-insecurity
-apathy
-pain
-mood swings
-poor
self-confidence
On a physical
level, we may experience:
-the weakening of our immune system
-headaches
-colds
-diarrhea
-muscular
tension
-tiredness
On a functional
level, we may experience:
-problems
with mental focus and memory
-poor
performance in tasks
-low
efficiency and productivity
-being
unable to work
-being
unable to follow our studies.
These
are only some of the symptoms and effects of homesickness (Van Tilburg,
Vingerhoets, & Van Heck, 1996). Symptoms and effects of the holiday blues are quite similar to those mentioned previously. However,
while the homesickness is primarily induced by distress of leaving our home and
finding ourselves in new and unfamiliar environment, the holiday blues can be
induced by numerous factors, including:
-financial
pressure
-unrealistic
expectations for the holidays and pressure to be happy
-limited
daylight
-over
scheduling
-overeating
-family
stressors
-loneliness
-memories
of past holidays, especially if we lost someone
In
the end, it is important to note that the numerous symptoms and effects of homesickness
and holiday blues help to illuminate the seriousness of the problem.
Holiday Blues and Homesickness
When
we are talking about the problem, it is important to differentiate the
homesickness and phenomenon called the holiday blues.
As
we approach the holiday season, we are
supposed to look forward to the holidays and hope that they will be full of
happiness, friendliness, fellowship, and harmony. However, often this
anticipation and excitement turns into
feelings of depression, commonly called the holiday blues. This can happen to
everyone. Causes may vary, but some of the most common causes of the holiday blues
are stressfulness of holiday events, overdrinking,
overeating, and fatigue. Feeling homesick can also lead, or contribute, to the
holiday blues phenomenon.
What
is homesickness? Homesickness is defined as a commonly experienced state of
distress among those who have left their house and home and find themselves in
a new and unfamiliar environment (Van Tilburg, Vingerhoets, & Van Heck,
1996). When are basic needs - often associated with home, family, friends,
familiarity - such as support, love and security are not fulfilled within our
new environment, we long for them, and consequently we long for our home. In
this context we are talking about immigrants, however, feelings of homesickness
are universal and experienced by us all when we are in a new and unfamiliar
environment. These feelings can be experienced at any time and they are not
specifically related to the holiday season.
What to Do?
First
of all, feeling homesick is completely normal, and no one is immune to it. What
matters, and makes a difference, is how we choose to deal with it.
In
order to deal with feelings of homesickness,
it is important to use our coping skills, emotional resilience, and support
resources that are available to us. However, sometimes it will not be enough.
In those cases, it is important to recognize that there are some skills we
still need to acquire and that there are resources we can access in order to
acquire those skills. This is also a way to deal with the holiday blues.
Feeling little blue during the holiday
season is completely normal, and no one is immune to it either. However, it is
how we choose to deal with it that makes a difference.
Not
dealing with the problem,or dealing with it in an
unhealthy way may only exacerbate it, and lead to more severe clinical symptoms.
On the other hand, if we choose to deal with the problem in a proper manner, the problem can lead us
toward a path of learning and growing.
Talk to Someone Who Can Help
There
are many ways to deal with the homesickness and holiday blues. Sometimes, we
will be successful in using our skills and resilience, that we built over the
years. However, sometimes we will need to learn new skills and further develop
our resilience.
Realizing
that we have a problem, one with which we are not able to deal with by
ourselves, is the first and the most difficult step we have to take in order to
solve the problems we face. We have to give ourselves the time and space to
accept where we are and how do we feel.
Then, the next step in overcoming our problems is talking with someone
who can help.
Talking
with somebody who can help involves seeking help when help is needed, and
investing in our personal development through therapy in order to develop our
coping skills and emotional resilience. Therapy is a safe place where we will
have an opportunity to work with a trained professional in order to learn and
grow.
Conclusion
Even
though homesickness and holiday blues are different
phenomena, they are commonly experienced as one in the same by
immigrants. Therefore, it is hard to determine whether the homesickness is
causing holiday blues, or just exacerbating the pre-existing symptoms of
holiday blues. However, the number of symptoms and effects of these two phenomena helps to illustrate the
problem.
Once
we recognize that the problem exists, and that we are struggling with deficits
in our coping skills and resilience which prevents us from effectively dealing
with the problem, it is important to talk with someone who can help. By talking
with a trained professional, we will be investing in our
personal development by transforming the problem into an opportunity to learn
and grow.
References:
Literature; Van
Tilburg, G.L, Vingerhoets, A.J.J.M. & Van Heck, G.L. (1996). Homesickness:
A review of the literature. Psychological
Medicine, 26, 899-912.
About the Author
Hilda Huj
, B.A., M.A. Hilda is a registered clinical counselling and forensic psychologist in Edmonton, Alberta. She specializes in working with youth, adults and families that have been impacted by trauma. She completed a Bachelor of Arts and Master of Arts degree in Psychology in Osijek, Croatia, and subsequently equated her academic credentials to Canadian standards. Currently, she volunteers with the Edmonton Police Services as a Victim Support Worker and also helps to promote Psychology by volunteering for the Psychologists’ Association of Alberta.
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Edmonton, Alberta
T5K 1C5
Canada
Phone: 7804289223
Contact Hilda Huj
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www.archpsychological.com