Grief and Loss Counseling in La Crescenta, CA.

My approach to Grief & Loss is for the client to be aware of the 7 stages of grief and to have them understand that their feelings about their loss are normal. Many times when someone close to us dies, we question whether not crying, crying too much, or perhaps feeling angry at the world is OK. These are all normal feelings and reactions people have to loss. Once a client understands this, they can continue to grieve without having any questions about their own actions or feelings.

When someone is grieving, it is sometimes difficult to know what to say. People feel awkward and often are reduced to well-meaning platitudes. There is no magic wand to take away the feelings experienced in grief but having a place of safety and honesty can be an important step on the road to restoration. Being able to talk, weep, get angry and feel the feelings is often present in the early stages. The purpose of grief work is not about forgetting remembering with love in spite of the wounds it leaves behind.

It is not a coincidence that losing a loved one feels like losing part of ourselves: I believe that is exactly what is happening. The people (or animals) that are closest to us help to make us the people we are. Whether through the end of a relationship, death, or moving away, the loss of someone dear to us presents a profound shift in our own life story, like a sudden storm on a calm sea. How do we navigate that? Do we sail on? Change direction? How do we even know where to begin?

Coping with grief and loss is unique to each person and situation. Grief is a natural response to losing someone or something that has meant a great deal to you and been part of your life. Even changes in your health, career, or lifestyle, can cause grief. I approach each case by starting where you are. Although there are different "stages" to working through grief and loss, each person experiences these stages in different ways, durations and may even revisit some of these stages multiple times throughout the process. My goal is to allow you the opportunity to experience each stage at your own pace while focusing on maintaining your health.

Confronting the pain of loss may feel too intense, but counseling can bring relief. How? Talking about your sadness, regrets, guilt, anger, etc., will help you release thoughts and feelings… slowly accept how the loss impacts your life… give the lost loved one a new place in your heart... and eventually adjust to your changed life and often-new self. You can re-discover the joy of life without forgetting what you have lost.

Most of us are familiar with Elizabeth Kubler Ross' model of grief with the 5 stages. While this is helpful information, this model does not fit everyone. I practice from the Winslade and Hedtke model of grief which practices "Remembering". I find that using this model or this model in conjunction with the 5 stage grief model is helpful to helping clients explore loss and grief in finding a pathway forward that honors their own experiences.

Grieving a loss can feel overwhelming and isolating. Whether you are grieving a recent loss or need to process a loss from your past, a safe space to freely express your thoughts and feelings can be healing. Children's response to loss is framed by their developmental capacities. For this reason, children may process a loss and then need to reprocess at a later stage of development. Therapy provides an opportunity for children and adolescents to process their loss in age appropriate ways.

Losing a loved one can be so difficult, whether it's a parent, grandparent, sibling or even a pet. I believe losing a child would be one of the most difficult losses a parent could experience. I am here to help you grieve through these losses by providing you with a supportive, safe and compassionate environment. I will also remind you that all the feelings that you are experiencing, whether it's anger, guilt, denial or sadness are all normal and need to be expressed. I will also make sure that your grief does not turn into a clinical depression, which will add to your sadness and difficult in functioning. Talking to therapist is different than with a friend or family due to our skill-set.

In treating grief and loss, it is essential to facilitate a safe, respectful therapeutic interaction, in which clients are able to tell their story, process and express their feelings of grief, explore the meaning of their loss, and revise their relationship with the deceased. Additionally, using cognitive and behavioral therapy techniques enable people to develop skills for coping with the anxiety, depression, and difficult emotions that may arise as a result of the grieving process.

Everyone grieves in their own way. You shouldn't feel you are out-of-control because you grieve in unexpected ways or for a longer peroid. Cultural and religious differences in grieving exist which are perfectly acceptible. A therapist must be sensitive to these issues. Grief is said to involve denial, anger, bargaining, deperession and acceptance. We will monitor your reactions to validate those feelings in session. Unhealthy reactions to loss do occur; self-medicating, and isolating oneslef for long periods, experiencing full-blown depression -- these behaviors, can prove detrimental. We will monitor your behaviors and mood changes and deal with negative conditions, should they occur.

Nothing in life can be more difficult and painful than dealing with loss. When we love deeply we will also grieve deeply. When we don't know how to grieve well, prolong sadness and pain can remain. The therapeutic relationship is one place where a safe place can be found to open fully the pain of loss. I also offer divorce support and grief groups where a community of suffers can join in the journey of recovery.

Create a safe space where you get to talk about your loss openly: no limitations, no having to censor yourself, no “can they handle this?” Learn tools to cope with the big, uncontrollable feelings you’re experiencing Learn to ask for needs from your support system when grieving. Honor and reflect on those who you have lost. Carry on the relationship with the person inside of you. Gain an understanding that you’re not crazy! What you feel is normal & grief is universal Build skills to turn towards your grief rather than away, so you can be present to the life unfolding in front of you without losing connection to your loved one

I address grief and loss issues with understanding, validation, and empathy. My deep respect for the fact that it takes time to sufficiently mourn and grieve the loss of what once was is key in working with clients who experience grief and loss. We are all unique, and we grieve in ways that may look different than other's ways. There is no wrong way to experience loss! I model compassion and patience, hoping that in time my clients can experience self-compassion and allow themselves to feel the depths of their feelings without excess shame or self-judgment. I believe that social and cultural factors may also play a role in our grieving process, so I explore those factors in therapy as well.