My Approach to a Happy Life
There are two pillars of happiness: acceptance of who you are, and commitment to what you want. Most of us struggle with these pillars all our life. Too much acceptance without commitment breeds complacency, sometimes experienced as depression. Too much commitment without acceptance promotes restlessness, often felt as anxiety. Acceptance and commitment apply, not just to our world as individuals but to our relationships, our work, even our ways of playing. Balance is the key
I use a variety of modes of counseling to help you find a balance between acceptance and commitment, whether as an individual or in your relationships. I strive to fit the modality to the client and not the other way around.
What to Expect
Research tells us what successful couples do and what they don’t do. It’s not complicated. You can learn it. The problem is that every couple comes into my office with baggage that keeps them from communicating well. My job is to help you move the baggage out of the way.
I use a four part approach for couples counseling. They are:
Our goal is to get significant improvement in your relationship in about three months. Can you give your relationship three months of your time? My practice is about half couples and I consider helping couples a calling.
- Identify the baggage and reduce its influence over you
- Address past hurts
- Address current events (the stuff you are having difficulty discussing)
- increase REL (respect, esteem, and love)
Depression and Anxiety:
Just about everyone gets depressed or anxious sometimes (even therapists!). It is part of life. You are here looking for a therapist because one or both of these things have become a bigger part of your life than is healthy for you.
There are two approaches to depression and anxiety. I use both as appropriate.The first is symptom relief, This addresses such things as:
The second approach is deeper and asks you to explore what role depression and/or anxiety plays in your life. This requires more effort but yields more long lasting results. You may already have tried approach one and it helped some but not enough. You may be ready for approach two. Come in and let's talk about it.
- How to ignore unhelpful thoughts.
- How to accept unpleasant feelings
- How to worry less
- How to stay in the moment and not in future or the past.
Charles Hughes ReachesOak Park IL