You've made a long and thought out decision to seek some assistance, and you are to be commended for taking the initiative to find a qualified and approachable counselor. I welcome your interest in my listing.
My fondest memory as to how I got started in sex therapy was my discussion with a celebrity.
“Why did you choose to go into sex therapy?” was a question that Fanny Kiefer, of Studio 4, once asked me on her live television show.
I believe my answer went something like this: “You know, Fanny, my mother’s still wondering the same thing.” After Ms. Kiefer, composed herself from laughing, I continued: “Actually, before I opened up my practice, there were only a hand full of sex therapists in BC, and none was ethnic. After I began, most of my clients appreciated that I had a good command of both the Eastern and Western cultures, family dynamics, and therapeutic interventions.”
It was after this show that I became known to my colleagues as Dr. Faizal, the “multicultural sex and relationship therapist.”
I soon realized that there was a need for a counselor who could help those of diverse cultures. To satisfy this need, I considered all the various avenues out there through which I could help people.
Today, I am a sex therapist, Registered Professional Counsellor, university Instructor, advice columnist for the Canadian Immigrant magazine, advice columnist for CBC Radio Canada International (Love Across Cultures on Link), media-consultant on multicultural relationship issues, the author of Dating the Ethnic Man: Strategies for Success (ask me for an author-signed copy), the new National Communications Director for the Canadian Professional Counsellors Association, a Provincial Director of Options for Sexual Health (formerly Planned Parenthood), and a clinical supervisor for counselling students.
In private practice since 1997, I have counseled many individuals and couples that have shared with me stories about their challenges in initiating and maintaining a romantic relationship with someone from a different culture or of a different race. I’ve heard comments like:
“My Black boyfriend is dating me, but keeps on putting down everything about my race. He says that he’s denying is heritage. What’s that about?”
(a Caucasian woman).
“I’ve got a thing for oriental women. My friends think I’m weird. Is it okay to be attracted to a specific race?”
(a Caucasian man).
“Though my Persian boyfriend says he loves me, he refuses to introduce me to his family. He is not gay, and he assures me that he is not married. I don’t understand what the problem is”
“My girlfriend’s parents didn’t understand that in Canadian culture, having sex with a woman didn’t mean that you had to marry her”
(girlfriend’s family from Japan).
“In my culture, even dating is frowned upon, but I’ve met this amazing Caucasian man that I want to go out with. I need support if I’m going to do this”
(family from Pakistan).
Concerns like these are common in the international dating scene, where inter-racial dating thrives.
Cross-cultural romances are now common. But they bring new problems.
In our multicultural society many people are attracted to those of different backgrounds. Their accent, exotic appearance, or unfamiliar relationship style are often irresistible. But the very things that attract can also create problems. Multicultural romance often ends in heartbreak.
In our sessions, my clients get a heads-up in relating to those outside their culture. They learn how to do a multicultural reality check, and identify the key indicators that spell future trouble. The goal of therapy is for singles and couples to make their relationship with their partner the best that it can be.
Though cross-cultural relationships is one of my specialties, I am trained in and offer counseling for a wide variety of issues:
My clients and their issues include
Communication & intimacy issues
Sexual desire discrepancies
Lack of sexual desire
Pain – Discomfort during intercourse
My approach is an eclectic one, which may, depending on the unique needs and preferences of each client, incorporate, psychodynamic, existential – humanistic, Rogerian, and/or cognitive-behavioral counseling. Gestalt, guided imagery and relaxation techniques may also be utilized.
I am a counselor who
Creates a safe, private setting
Is sincere, warm, and empathic
Accurately understands the client
Supports the client
Is sensitive to client’s needs
Offers effective therapeutic interventions
The Three-Stage Model
I have found that clients can be most helped by a 3-stage model of counseling:
I identify, engage, support and validate the painful feelings associated with painful experiences.
I assist clients in gaining insight into defenses, unhealthy patterns of thought, beliefs, behaviors, and ways of relation to self and others that result from this pain.
I encourage clients, through various interventions, to adopt new behaviors and attitudes and ways of relating to self and others.
Together, these three steps induce a change in the client, which leads to his/her psychic, emotional, familial, and sexual well-being.
Now, if reading this bio, and viewing my website, has piqued your interest, you are more than welcome to give me a call. We can discuss your particular concern, keeping in mind that our conversation will be strictly confidential.
Whatever your decision, I wish you a lifetime of growth and prosperity.
LOOK WHAT'S NEW...
My new book, Dating the Ethnic Man: Strategies for Success, has just been published. and is now available at Chapters bookstore (Metrotown). You may read about it by going to:
If you would like an author-signed copy, please contact me at either 604.639.4443 or 604.899.0102 or by email: firstname.lastname@example.org.
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