Anger Management and Counselling in Courtenay, BC.

Anger is an emotion that we all have experienced – it is natural, normal and healthy. However if it gets to be too much it can become destructive and damaging to those around us and ourselves. It can lead to problems in our personal lives as well as at work and play. How we express our anger can be the key to learning to better manage our angry emotions. Anger is a biological reaction and yet we can learn to manage it better. We can learn to express what we are feeling and to use various calming strategies that help us to identify our triggers and learn to control our reactions. The benefits to learning manage our anger are endless and often life transforming.

Our anger can be a sentry, a protector and a wise indicator that our boundaries have been transgressed or that something vitally important to us is threatened. It can also be a raging tyrant, a short fuse, a simmering internalisation that off-gases through passive-aggression, or a childish tantrum. Becoming intimate with our anger is synonymous with becoming intimidate with our power. In anger therapy, we will work to understand the unique way your anger process happens through somatic awareness, mindfulness and emotional intimacy. We will look at your history with anger, your family lineage, and you will learn tools to channel this fire in ways that support rather than hinder your life.

My approach is to use a step-by-step process that follows an evidence based approach: goal setting; self awareness; cognitive reframing; behavioural modification; review of progress. Fundamental to the work is a good therapeutic relationship. That is, we have the collaboration and trust to combine your knowledge of yourself and your situation and my skills and knowledge of the clinical issues to make change happen.

A response to life's events falls upon a continuum from neutral to highly-reactive. At times anger, Gandhi called it "Righteous Indignation," is necessary to respond to injustices or inappropriate behaviours. However, uncontrolled, inappropriate anger is destructive to one's self and others. Mindfulness and Metta (Loving Kindness) meditations are excellent tools to deal with anger. Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) also called Tapping, along with skillful use of affirmations can help to cool the fires of anger. The benefits of anger management lead to a regulating of emotions and thus a gaining of peace of mind, positive relationships, career and family security.

Anger can often feel so overwhelming that it causes you to do things you later regret. Not knowing what came over you, there are many unanswered questions: why do I keep doing this? why can't I stop myself? Sometimes, alcohol, substances, or other addictive behaviours lead to this anger, making it more difficult to control. As an addiction counsellor, I help clients overcome addictions leading to anger issues so they can regain a sense of control, rebuild relationships, and gain clarity about how to move forward. If you are unsure where to start, send me a message and I can help. If I'm not the right fit, I can connect you to the right support so you can start gaining back control, today.

Anger is generally masking other feelings beneath it. By exploring our family dynamics and history we can come to an understanding of the underlying feelings that trigger our anger and the thought processes and inner narrative we've built around it. I use an MCBT approach to facilitate this process. Enabling people time to think about consequences and their emotional triggers before reacting is part of my process.

We work with individuals who want to work on and take accountability for their anger and violence. We offer a dignity informed approach to understand and offer insight and support in issues of anger and violence. Our hope is to delve into the context and history of the individual and determine what is happening in the anger and violence and help with accountability and different choices around the anger and violence.