Anger Management and Counselling in Lethbridge, AB.

Anger doesn’t need “managing” so much as it needs to be “paid attention to”. Emotions serve the purpose of “signalling” the owner of those emotions and are governed by two immutable laws: #1 we will feel (no choice); #2 we will express emotions (here we have choice of expression). Of the vast spectrum of choices people make for expressing their anger (which is a secondary emotion), the healthiest choice is to trace the anger back to its primary source(s) of either Hurt (emotional or physical), Frustration (goals blocked) or Fear (real or perceived) and process it there. The anger signal is then no longer needed and must be “Shut Off”, until needed for another situation.

Anger can be tricky to understand as there are many underlying emotions that can cause anger. By exploring the purpose of the emotion and knowing how to work with the emotion can solve many problems that affect one's life. Learning the importance of creating healthy coping strategies can help recover from betrayal, grief, and unresolved traumas. I am trained in EMDR to help others work with their anger and to process the difficulty of what lies beneath anger.

Grey Matters International and the work of Kevin J. Fleming, Ph.D approaches issues of anger management in a very humane yet fresh perspective. You see, anger is a normal emotion but it is the valence (intensity) as well as the coupling choice of what one does with this that is the problem. Telling someone to "not" do it or modifying behavior with a trite psychological plan that only breeds a compliant response is not the way to change anger. Brainwave optimization is a new cutting edge technology that allows one to rewire circuitry responsible for reactivity driving the anger. Contact Grey Matters International, Inc now at kevin@kevinflemingphd.com or 877-606-6161.

Many therapists see anger as a secondary emotion. Underneath is hurt and pain. Perhaps it is injustice and abuse that you suffered. Getting to what is fuelling the anger is an important step in anger management. I will work with you to find safe and appropriate ways to express your feelings without doing damage to your relationships and yourself. We all have strong emotions. It is our awareness of what they are and how to put words to them that makes a difference. Don't delay learning this important skill of emotional regulation that will allow you to have a safe and fulfilling life.

When we can learn to investigate anger, build acceptance and tolerance for uncomfortable feelings, and find ways to soothe ourselves, we can manage anger in ways that are supportive of our relationships and supportive of ourselves. Learning anger management can involve building skills in multiple areas including communication, needs identification, distress tolerance, and/or emotional regulation.

A response to life's events falls upon a continuum from neutral to highly-reactive. At times anger, Gandhi called it "Righteous Indignation," is necessary to respond to injustices or inappropriate behaviours. However, uncontrolled, inappropriate anger is destructive to one's self and others. Mindfulness and Metta (Loving Kindness) meditations are excellent tools to deal with anger. Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) also called Tapping, along with skillful use of affirmations can help to cool the fires of anger. The benefits of anger management lead to a regulating of emotions and thus a gaining of peace of mind, positive relationships, career and family security.

Control Anger before it controls you. The goal of anger management is to recognized your emotional feelings and physical arousal that caused anger and find better ways to deal with this emotion. Anger can lead to problems at work, get in the way of personal relationships, and in the overall quality of your life and those around you. If you are experiencing NON-Violent anger I can help you. This is done through a goal directed collaborative approach. Personal change is constant. We will bring awareness and facilitate movement toward goals you have identified. We will email back and forth, it's just like talking to a friend only you will receive professional help on your own schedule.

Anger can often feel so overwhelming that it causes you to do things you later regret. Not knowing what came over you, there are many unanswered questions: why do I keep doing this? why can't I stop myself? Sometimes, alcohol, substances, or other addictive behaviours lead to this anger, making it more difficult to control. As an addiction counsellor, I help clients overcome addictions leading to anger issues so they can regain a sense of control, rebuild relationships, and gain clarity about how to move forward. If you are unsure where to start, send me a message and I can help. If I'm not the right fit, I can connect you to the right support so you can start gaining back control, today.

Anger management counseling can help to identify stressors and learn the steps to stay calm in the face of anger. The goal is to handle tense situations in more constructive and positive ways by reducing the emotional and physical arousal that anger can cause. It will provide the tools to take back your life and resolve the triggers that result in unplanned anger reactions.

I can help my clients with anger management and work on short and long-term goals when they are ready to make some life changes. In the short term, it is important to increase awareness of the patterns of anger in your life, identify the pain and hurt that is fueling anger, learn to verbalize angry feelings in a controlled way, decrease angry outbursts and how past ways of expressing anger have had a negative impact. Some longer-term goals are to decrease the intensity and frequency of angry feelings, develop an awareness of the origin and alternatives to aggression, and learn to accept angry feelings while working on control and maintaining peace.