Anger Management and Counseling in San Marino, CA.

Anger is very closely correlated to depression and is in fact one of its symptoms. When people get labeled as having "anger issues" I as a therapist suspect that there is some form of underlying depression and in most cases early childhood trauma. I use cognitive behavioral therapy, but I also use psycho-dynamic psychotherapy to get down to the root of the underlying reasons for the anger.

As a culture, we do not do well with healthy expressions of anger. Often we are raised to suppress it and then we have limited practice at dealing with big emotion. There is a spectrum of healthy aggression- to keep us safe and to maintain boundaries- and rage- our body's strategy for safety. Anger management is about applying the right "dosing" to maintain boundaries yet not fracture relationships or suffer other losses. I am able to help you learn to regulate your body to be able to apply the appropriate "dose" to be effective and not destructive.

I do not believe in "anger management". Instead, I believe in being in control of your emotions - including anger. My clients discover how to be in control of their feelings of anger or rage - instead of the anger or rage controlling them. My clients discover how they can feel anger, but then choose more effective and productive ways of expressing themselves - in ways that no longer lead to regret or hurt - but rather in ways they feel proud and good about.

Feeling out of control can be extremely distressing, destructive, and can have a lasting impact on your relationships with others. Learning how to manage your emotions and effectively deal with anger is an important goal, and one that can be accomplished through active participation in therapy. The goals is for our clients to leave therapy with the skills and confidence that they can manage the challenges that come with everyday life. Learning such skills will directly help with increasing the quality of your relationships and decrease the negative impact of your anger in areas such as work, school, and family difficulties. It can also potentially help avoid any negative legal outcomes.

I work closely with my clients and their families in identifying the triggers and body cues which preceed an anger episode. Focusing on being in touch with ones emotional experience prior to an outburst allows my clients to begin to identify and disrupt this behavioral pattern prior to a full meltdown. Behaviors are much easier to change before full escalation, and working with my clients and families on identifying these clues and implimenting effective coping strategies is a pivotal part of change.

A response to life's events falls upon a continuum from neutral to highly-reactive. At times anger, Gandhi called it "Righteous Indignation," is necessary to respond to injustices or inappropriate behaviours. However, uncontrolled, inappropriate anger is destructive to one's self and others. Mindfulness and Metta (Loving Kindness) meditations are excellent tools to deal with anger. Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) also called Tapping, along with skillful use of affirmations can help to cool the fires of anger. The benefits of anger management lead to a regulating of emotions and thus a gaining of peace of mind, positive relationships, career and family security.

If you are grappling with anger that negatively impacts your live, you will find solace and transformation through anger management therapy. My specialized approach emphasizes improved somatic awareness, allowing recognition and understanding of the physical sensations tied to anger. By fostering a better understanding of emotional patterns, you will be guided to uncover the triggers and underlying causes of the anger. Personalized therapy equips you with the confidence and skills to exert emotional control over a wide range of emotions, leading to more harmonious relationships and a more balanced life. This journey is not just about managing anger, but about unlocking a more peaceful self.

Anger is one of our fundamental emotions, part of the basic machinery of our mind and personality. In some ways it is a useful tool that helps to motivate and energize us in seeking fairness and justice in the world around us. But this powerful hold-over from our primal history can also be enormously destructive if we lose control of it. If your anger is slipping out of your control and you find yourself saying or doing things that damage your reputation or your relationships, hurt those around you, or otherwise consistently put you on the outside of society's expectations for behavior, you need help to find tools or strategies to change this and I would be happy to help.