Anger Management and Counselling in Vancouver, BC.

Anger can often feel so overwhelming that it causes you to do things you later regret. Not knowing what came over you, there are many unanswered questions: why do I keep doing this? why can't I stop myself? Sometimes, alcohol, substances, or other addictive behaviours lead to this anger, making it more difficult to control. As an addiction counsellor, I help clients overcome addictions leading to anger issues so they can regain a sense of control, rebuild relationships, and gain clarity about how to move forward. If you are unsure where to start, send me a message and I can help. If I'm not the right fit, I can connect you to the right support so you can start gaining back control, today.

Grey Matters International and the work of Kevin J. Fleming, Ph.D approaches issues of anger management in a very humane yet fresh perspective. You see, anger is a normal emotion but it is the valence (intensity) as well as the coupling choice of what one does with this that is the problem. Telling someone to "not" do it or modifying behavior with a trite psychological plan that only breeds a compliant response is not the way to change anger. Brainwave optimization is a new cutting edge technology that allows one to rewire circuitry responsible for reactivity driving the anger. Contact Grey Matters International, Inc now at kevin@kevinflemingphd.com or 877-606-6161.

In my approach to Counselling for Anger and Anger Management, I help clients gain insight into the root causes of their anger and equipping them with effective strategies to manage it constructively. I believe that anger is a natural emotion, but it becomes problematic when it is expressed in harmful ways. Through our therapeutic work, clients will learn to identify triggers, understand the underlying emotions driving their anger, and acquire practical techniques for healthy expression and control. By fostering self-awareness and providing tools for emotional regulation, clients can expect to experience improved relationships, reduced conflict, and an overall enhanced quality of life.

One of the greatest detriments of anger is that it makes us feel helpless and out of control. Anger management techniques aren't meant to eliminate your anger. Anger management techniques put you in charge of the situation and teach you how to make your anger work for you. Resolve conflict creatively, calm yourself before you hit the red zone, recognize the early warning signs of anger…so that you’ll stay in control of your emotions, offer and respond to criticism with confidence and react to a crisis calmly and confidently...so that you will be powerful instead of overpowering.

Anger often stems from feeling so many emotions all at once. You lose a sense of control. You go from 0 to 100 in a blink of an eye. By getting angry you’re attempting to regain control that’s presumed lost. But instead, you’re full of guilt and shame. Feeling angry and reacting in anger, is simply exhausting. I’ll help you learn how to regain control, in a healthy way.

Anger is a healthy and normal emotion. It is only when it is acted out in inappropriate ways that it becomes unhealthy and socially "unacceptable". The key to getting a handle on anger is to learn mindful awareness of what you are actually experiencing in the moment - particularly what you are experiencing physically in your body. That moment to moment awareness shows you the truth of your experience and slows your reaction time, giving you a chance to take a breath, evaluate, and assess how you might want to RESPOND, rather than simply REACT, in a given situation. It is equally important to discover underlying anxiety or depression that might be contributing to unwanted anger.

Anger is a healthy emotion. It is an important part of our human experience in certain instances where our boundaries have been violated, or some injustice has impacted us, for example. Anger becomes destructive (to ourselves and others) when it is expressed in dysregulated ways such as angry outbursts, abusive speech, violent acts, feeling overwhelmed and out of control, etc. Dysregulated anger was at one point a quiet, subtle regulated feeling, but was either overlooked or avoided and, just like any boiling pot of water that has been left unattended, it bubbles over and burns whatever it touches. In therapy, I help clients slow down their experience of anger so they can learn to give proper attention to the subtle nudges – the early bodily experiences of anger – rendering the escalation

My approach is to use a step-by-step process that follows an evidence based approach: goal setting; self awareness; cognitive reframing; behavioural modification; review of progress. Fundamental to the work is a good therapeutic relationship. That is, we have the collaboration and trust to combine your knowledge of yourself and your situation and my skills and knowledge of the clinical issues to make change happen.

Are you a gay man that struggles with anger at yourself or other people? Perhaps you’re even searching for help after a blow up that’s left you feeling bad about your reactions. Anger often shows up in some unique ways for gay men, so the traditional approaches to anger management don’t always work. I help gay men transform their relationship with anger so that they can understand their anger better, use anger effectively, and feel more in control of their responses.

Anger can become emotionally addictive and yet this may not be obvious to a client. They may have many reasons for being angry and may feel very justified in their anger. Anger can jeopardize meaningful relationships. I help clients get to the core of their anger and give them new tools and methods to handle these explosive feelings. I will also help my client uncover the underlying beliefs and sources of their anger. There is no need for them to continue to suffer.

I work with voluntary clients who want to change how they express their anger. Very few of us were lucky enough to see anger modelled in healthy ways in the families we grew up in. I will support you to slow down and pay attention to what leads you to feeling frustrated and angry. You'll discover your "anger styles", what types of interactions and situations tend to set you off, and the internal and external cues it’s important for you to notice so that you can get a handle on this problem. The goal is for you to gain mastery over your anger, learn how to express it in skillful and fair ways, and see your relationships and self-esteem improve.

Anger management counseling can help to identify stressors and learn the steps to stay calm in the face of anger. The goal is to handle tense situations in more constructive and positive ways by reducing the emotional and physical arousal that anger can cause. It will provide the tools to take back your life and resolve the triggers that result in unplanned anger reactions.

Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) specifically focuses on providing clients with skills in four specific areas: Mindfulness, Distress Tolerance, Emotional Regulation, and Interpersonal Effectiveness. It is widely used to successfully treat many issues including anger management issues, domestic violence, PTSD, Substance Abuse, and Depression. We work with the individual to teach them how to manage and alter intense emotions, increase their ability to tolerate negative emotions, and communicate effectively in a non-emotional manner