Great Couples Counselling in Toronto, ON. Therapy to heal relationships.

Couples therapy is not just for times of trouble, it is also important for building a strong foundation to an already strong relationship. Our couples therapists focus on learning about your unique relationship and what each of you bring to the table. We tailor this process to what your relationships needs, which could be healing from a trauma, infidelity, loss, and/or life stress. We are here to help and to support your relationship.

Healthy relationships take commitment & work. I help couples increase emotional intimacy & connection. I help them stop unhelpful ways of interacting, achieve resolution to their unresolved conflicts, & take responsibility for their negative contributions to patterns. Couple relationships require re-committing ourselves to each other repeatedly throughout the length of our relationship. I will help you to learn to "turn towards" one another. I will also help you to eliminate the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse, a phrase coined by couple researches John and Julie Gottman. Lastly, all couple relationships include pursuer-distancer patterns. I will help you identify these and work to stop them.

There are many reasons why couples seek therapy. You may be experiencing communication problems that keep coming, feeling constantly criticized, not feeling heard, feeling emotionally distant from your partner, fighting over the same issues, feelings of anger and jealousy, feeling controlled by your partner, and differences in parenting styles. Couples therapy can help you strengthen your bond by learning healthy ways to communicate your needs, identify stuck patterns and learn new ways to be with each other. Often a few sessions is all that is needed for a “reset”.

The team offers both couple and family counselling to help you learn to better navigate healthy relationships and experience the intimacy you need in your life. We are able to offer both short-term skill-building, activity-based couple counselling as well as a longer-term, dynamic approach that generally lasts 5-8 months, depending on the couple and scheduling. We see heterosexual, gay and lesbian couples, as well partnerships involving people with non-binary gender presentations. We see couples in open and polyamorous relationships. Attachment styles, love languages and IFS are used to help you better understand your relationship and learn to work together and get needs met.

Couples therapy is a collaborative approach and a safe space to communicate how you feel. Marriage and couples counseling tends to deal with present-day events rather than the past. It focuses on the 'now' and the challenges of married life so that you can get your relationship back on track. Couples therapy deals with the present day but also any history that causes unhealthy patterns of relating. Using the Gottman Method, I focus on communication and conflict resolution and what areas need improvement where we will then learn about creating new connections and rituals. We will also focus on building new meanings and shared value systems that will help you strengthen your relationshi

Satisfying relationships require effective communication, respect, mutuality, and consideration. Couples need to be responsive to the needs of the relationship and responsive to the needs of each individual within the relationship. Skills are not taugh in life and often need to be learned as we go. These relational skills need to be learned and are learned best in relationships. Some people are fortunate enough to learn some of these skills in their families of origin, the rest of us learn as we go, so to speak. A relationship therapist can be a real asset in helping to acquire these important skills. In addition to relationship skills we may also need help understanding our behaviours.

Working on the relationship requires an openness to learn, grow and reflect as a couple. The focus in sessions is to shift the oppositional energy, allowing the couple to come together as a team trying to overcome challenges. In sessions you'll learn to regulate emotions, communicate more effectively, understand the underlying parts of you that are getting triggered, and bring intentional joy into the relationship to strengthen your bonds as a couple and breed deeper connection for longer lasting, healthier love. Monogamous and polyamorous couples of all genders, sexual orientations and cultural backgrounds are welcome.

I use 9 steps of Emotionally-Focused Therapy (EFT) to help couples identify their negative interaction cycle and each partner's role in that cycle. Steps 1-4 entails empowering the couples to access unacknowledged emotions underlying the interactional positions and to reframe the challenges in terms of underlying feelings and attachment needs. Steps 5-7 entails supporting and mediating couples to change interactional positions and creating new bonding experiences. Steps 8-9 entails encouraging the couples to integrate new solutions to old relational problems.

When a couple is in trouble, the act of seeking out a counsellor has to be motivated by the desire to stay together through hard work. Therapy is not for those who need it but for those who want it. This is even more true when it comes to working with couples. The journey is one of finding once more what brought them together in the first place. We work with forgiveness and building trust. We find ways for the couple to once again feel a sense of warmth and compassion as we break down the walls of resentment. We look at what is triggering the couple to fight. We go through the anatomy of a common and repetitive fight. i also teach the couple some body centered techniques.

In the downtown Toronto area, people come to see me for help with marital and couples-related conflicts. I am very comfortable helping couples who are in straight, gay, or lesbian relationships. Conflicts often come up between partners in relation to difficulties with intimacy, conflicts surrounding extended family members, and disagreements around family goals and priorities.

[I OFFER VIDEO SESSIONS THROUGHOUT ALBERTA AND ONTARIO]. Your struggles might seem overwhelming now, but most situations can be rectified. I have worked with many couples, regardless of their lifestyle. I have been a psychologist since 1986. I am also a professor emeritus of counselling psychology. Set up an appointment now before things get worse by going to https://app.acuityscheduling.com/schedule.php?owner=14249112

When couples feel as though they are no longer able to communicate effectively, have lost patience with each other, have developed a lack of trust, empathy and feelings of desire, this can cause thoughts of helplessness and uncertainty about the future of their relationship. When couples are committed to working together to develop the trust, communication and time together that they once had, they can feel as though they are a partnership once again.

My approach is to help people recognize that relationships are two-sided and understand how each individual contributes to the couple’s dynamic. With that understanding, we work toward reaching a win-win situation, aiming to restore the satisfaction of the relationship. Together, we create a safe space for you to grow past the areas of “stuckness” -- that is, the old patterns that are learned when we are young and are brought to our current relationships. This is true for all of us. Therapy enables us to form new and healthy attachment patterns that are nourishing and nurturing, providing opportunities for new growth and satisfaction.