Great Couples Counselling in Victoria, BC. Therapy to heal relationships.

All couples, gay, heterosexual, lesbian, or Bi-sexual are respectfully welcomed. Most frequent issues presented by all couples include sexuality, financial struggles, parenting issues and communication problems. Sexuality probably presents as the most common concern. Some issues are polyamory, impotence, lack of desire, sexual addiction, indidelity, sexual trauma and abuse and incest. Dr. Graham's clients find her easy to talk to and discussion is frank and respectful. Some couples are struggling with questions concerning whether or when to have children and infertily. Most couples have the goal to strengthen their bond but others need support to end an unhappy relationship.

Intimate relationships are the backdrop for intense personal learning and development! To have a better relationship with other, we often need to have a better relationship with self. I will help you and your partner be in relationship more authentically, with a stronger sense of self and differentiation that will ironically help you choose more closeness and intimacy. The relationship you desire is within reach.

I offer Gottman Method Couples Therapy which is an evidence-based practice derived from decades of collected data with effective tools for couples to address areas of weakness and strengths within the relationship. This will entail a rigorous assessment process to determine treatment plan. I will be guiding the couples throughout the session and will be supporting couples coping tools during sessions.

I am ambivalent about the term "couples counseling" because it elevates a concept and deprecates the individuals. All counseling is individual counseling; couples counseling is counseling two individuals together. The first thing an insightful counselor learns is that the presenting story is never true, it's just the advertisement. Beneath is a complex story, and, with a struggling couple, the plot is no longer following the story line. We will birth the new story. Counseling two people who are enmeshed is the crafting of three stories: what each person needs, and what is the best that can be done together. This is the realm of thoughts and dreams. Truth is the first medicine we take.

I work with couples using Gottman Therapy, Emotionally Focused Therapy and Attachment Therapy. I will help you identify your maladaptive patterns of behaviour and improve your communication skills. There is no shame in getting some coaching in how we connect with each other and how we can better meet each others needs. I use a strengths based approach to help you see the positives and remember why you fell in love.

For a relationship to really thrive, both people in the relationship need to thrive. I focus on the personal growth of each individual in the couple as the foundation for a healthy and happy life together. By bringing out the unique gifts and qualities of each person, the relationship can have its best chances. Once both people are ready for the work of couples therapy, we can work on communication, intimacy, vulnerability, availability, balance, and showing up for each other.

Couples seek counselling for multiple reasons – from fighting and frustration to affairs or intimacy. Sometimes partners sense their relationship could just be better. Virtually all challenged relationships can be improved with better communications. Together we will explore and expand our communication skills, and practice them in a supportive and safe environment. Talking through the personal issues that each partner brings to the relationship can help couples build intimacy and grow closer.

Each relationship faces unique hurdles and holds unique potential for growth. By skillfully tuning in to each other's inner worlds, learning new ways of being together and strategies for navigating conflict, we'll resolve what is hindering you. We’ll get creative and collaborate on new possibilities. Intimate relationships can bring out the deepest parts of ourselves and ignite personal transformation. Learning about how we relate is key to learning about ourselves and each other.

Thinking about getting married? Not the marriage type? Together learn more about yourself and the other you want to be with as we explore hopes, dreams, values, and beliefs. Master the art of negotiation and compromise in conflict, as well as the maintenance of healthy boundaries around those "big deal-breaker" issues. Couples of all types of configurations will learn about being an ally for each other as we work towards respect, love, collaborative problem solving and mutual understanding.

Couples counselling can offer benefits to partners in every stage of their relationship. Dating, engaged, or married, relationship counselling can help build, strengthen or repair your connection with one another. Working with Linda Duarte, Kathryn McInroy or Andee Dale at Gravitate Counselling Inc. can help you and your partner build a strong foundation, discuss important relationship topics, work through challenges, change existing patterns to something that works better for both of you, or adjust to a new season in your relationship. We can also help with co-parenting conversations and when couples decide to end their relationship.

Being connected to our partners is a great thing – but this closeness can get so complicated! Intimate partners hold a lot of power to disappoint us. How do we get into sync, and get what we need to stay invested? It is hard to manage disappointment. We can sometimes give up too much, agree to things we don’t want – or we go the other way, and start bullying the other person. Both of those are strategies to preserve your connection. Is your strategy working for you? In counselling, I help you clarify what is going on for you, what you both want, and what you can possibly do to get there. I create a safe, easy space to check out your relationship – it may be more fun than you think!

If you're looking to improve your relationship, we'd work together to create a supportive environment for discussion, allowing each of you to share your perspective and experience. With important conversations and empathetic questions, there's opportunity to truly see each other and to collaborate to resolve the issues rather than engaging in blame. Together, we'd uncover experiences that promote mutual understanding, empathy and appreciation. Through this process you'll gain insights, develop new ways of communicating, strengthen your connection and establish a more fulfilling and harmonious relationship.

Seeking counselling for your relationship can bring you more clarity about habitual patterns, about your individual self and about your direction to move forward. I provide a safe and confidential place for you and your partner to talk to each other, explore your concerns and to be understood by each other. Sometimes this can involve learning communication skills to help you navigate conversations, tools to manage strong emotions and setting goals.