Grief and Loss Counseling in Santa Barbara, CA.

Grief and loss effects all of us to a greater or lesser extent at some point in our lives. I wholeheartedly believe in the importance of the grieving process, and never rush my clients through it. When we grieve our losses we honor them. I often use EMDR to facilitate the grieving, and also use the Kubler-Ross stages of grief to help the client understand what he or she is going through. Clients come out of their grieving process not only with a greater understanding of their loss, but also of themselves.

I am a Certified Advanced Grief Specialist. Grief is a natural process following a meaningful loss and it can influence physical, emotional, behavioral & spiritual aspects of our lives. Grief is most associated with the death of a loved one, but also occurs with the loss of a pet, job, relationship, and changes in your health. People cope with grief in a variety of ways. The intensity and duration of grieving differs between individuals. Therapy is a safe place to express & explore your feelings. I will help you learn to cope and transform your pain into healthier ways of meaning and remembrance. Through therapy you will find permission to live your life and develop connection again.

When we lose someone we love, it feels like we have lost a part of ourselves. Something within us has been torn out, leaving a hole that we easily imagine will never heal. The pain can be profound, the feelings of helplessness, or regret, or guilt overwhelming. Having a partnership where you can talk through these feelings can make a huge difference not only in how quickly and how well you are able to move through the process of grieving, but also how you ultimately are able to frame the experience and your memories of the person lost into the narrative of your own self and life as you move forward. What you carry with you afterward is just as important as surviving the hurt of the loss.

Losing someone close to us can have a deep impact on how we act in the world and also how we enter relationships afterward. In working with grief, I gently support clients to express their feelings and also to transform them in a healthy way. Clients often find using mindfulness and expressive therapies such as drawing, metaphor, sand tray, and poetry helpful when grieving because they can help to regulate the emotional centers of the brain. Depending on the age of the client, I may discuss the stages of grief and support the healing elements of each stage. I will work with you or your child to find what is most supportive to moving forward.

I use an empathetic and compassionate approach combined with a range of specialized therapeutic techniques, including sensorimotor psychotherapy and internal family systems, to address Grief & Loss. Together we will master the intricacies of the grief process to enable a personalized and profound healing journey for those grappling with one of life's most challenging transitions. Clients will find solace and strength in my care, and I will create a safe space for exploration and growth, fostering resilience and understanding during grief. My methods not only alleviate the immediate pain of loss but also nurture a path towards long-term emotional well-being and empowerment.

My practice is centered around helping my clients find their own unique paths to healing from grief and loss. I use a combination of psychoanalytically-informed therapy and psychodynamic therapy to help people find the courage to be with and move through their pain. My goal is to provide comfort and support to my patients, while also helping them to uncover their hidden strengths and resources. I believe in the power of meaningful relationships and strive to create a safe and secure space for my patients to explore their feelings and experiences.

Devastation through grief and loss are unspeakable. Let me help you navigate through the maze that is your new reality. Sometimes these feelings must be experienced in a safe place with a counselor who understands that at times, there are no suitable words to express the extent of this pain. As an expert in this area of grief counseling, I will help you achieve the self compassion needed to deal with the pain, and thrive in your life.

Grief is natural. It is our human response to change or loss. It can be very painful. How the pain of grief moves through the body, mind, and soul is unique to each person. Sometimes we don't know why we feel empty, hurt, or sad. The process of gently exploring and sharing in a supportive environment helps us to really feel the feelings so they can pass through. We can then slowly begin to move forward again.

Free 30 minute zoom call - Grief & Loss are normal experiences in life. Yet, they are often overwhelming - combining experiences of sadness, fear, anxiety, surprise & disorientation, frustration, worry, loneliness, confusion & more. Grief is truly not meant to be experienced alone. The guidance of a caring therapist as well as the support of loving, friends, family & community is invaluable and truly needed. Grief takes time, comes in waves and needs expression in multiple ways, through tears, writing, talking and the help of a grief counselor.

Grey Matters International and the work of Kevin J. Fleming, Ph.D approaches issues of grief & loss through the lens of innovation----instead of growing the same neural networks responsible for the pain in weekly therapy sessions, we reset the brain to move forward quicker and efficiently by working on the stuck limbic system so as to empower the person with more success and traction. For no one wants to stay in a grief mode for too long; but when you don’t include the brain in your work with someone, you risk describing the water to them while they drown and calling it success. Contact Grey Matters International, Inc now at kevin@kevinflemingphd.com or 877-606-6161.