We all get angry sometimes. Anger, like other emotions, is important. It signals to us that something is going on that we need to pay attention to. Chronic irritability, rage and/or violent outbursts also can be a sign that our nervous systems are stuck on high. If we don’t slow ourselves down, anger can take up a lot of space in our relationships and our lives. I work with people to help them recognize the triggers for their anger and what meaning this trigger holds for them. I also help people learn how to calm down their systems. In this way, people can express their feelings and needs in a way that leads to happier lives and better relationships.

I help clients develop strategies and techniques for managing intense anger or aggressive episodes. These techniques involve learning ways to “cool off” and validate underlying feelings so that they may be communicated more effectively. Generally speaking, difficulty with anger is typically the result of a person having difficulty regulating their emotions.Emotional Regulation is achieving a balanced emotional life where you are neither numbed out from your emotional experiences nor emotionally overwhelmed by them. Achieving emotional balance is done through both talk therapy as well as learning specific concrete strategies for managing your emotional experiences.

First I help the client to understand the purpose of their anger. There are usually feelings underneath, such as, hurt, sadness, feeling betrayed. Anger is a warning that something is wrong. We explore other ways to handle the issue without acting out the anger. Many people are impulsive and will need to change this habit to learn new ways to deal with their feelings. Groups can be very helpful. It is important to learn how acting out anger affects other people especially those you are close to.

I have run anger management programs for many years. I have an eight week program to assist clients to experience and express their anger and other feelings in ways that are healing. I have also provided couples with ways to communicate their anger so they feel heard and better understood. Often times people are feeling sad or hurt but can only feel safe with the feeling of anger. I will give you tools to express all your feeling to feel calmer and peaceful.

I do not help clients to "manage" anger. I help them to understand its source and to use it productively rather than destructively. Sometimes it covers up some other feelings that need to be dealt with, and sometimes it is simply directed at the wrong person. By coming to understand your anger better you keep it from making problems and use it to find solutions.