Anger Management and Counseling in Santa Clarita, CA.

Is your anger getting the best of you? Perhaps its ruining your relationship or compromising your ability to move up in your career. Maybe its just a feeling--you're always tense, stressed, worked up, you feel "on edge." Whatever your experience is, there is health to be had and hope to be found. Something in you knows there's got to be another way to live. Together, we'll explore what your anger is really about and develop strategies to get you feeling more healthy and whole so you can have the relationship with others you want to, the internal peace that people talk about, and the ability to move well through stressful situations.

I help clients learn self-regulation tools to manage their regressions. We explore relational histories that have contributed to steady-state regressions and the challenge of managing secondary emotions. Ultimately, my clients are able to find healing from their previously reactive behaviors and more adaptive ways of handling their emotions. The result is better relationships.

A technique I use with Anger Management is Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT), which looks at our thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. Anger is a behavior that is an expression of our thoughts and feelings. I will work with you to help unlock the thoughts and feelings causing the anger. We can often correct negative thoughts that can help alter our feelings and behaviors. We can also look into other techniques to develop other coping mechanisms for anger. We resort to anger because that is what we were taught when we were younger. When you have other tools to express yourself and different thoughts, your anger isn't as necessary as often. You are still you. Just a calmer you.

Understanding the source of one's anger is the first step in learning how to control it and communicate feelings instead of reacting negatively to those feelings. Working from a perspective of understanding the underlining needs of you an an individual will help us figure out what technique will work best for your personal situation and therefore result in stronger and appropriate expression of your anger.

Feeling out of control can be extremely distressing, destructive, and can have a lasting impact on your relationships with others. Learning how to manage your emotions and effectively deal with anger is an important goal, and one that can be accomplished through active participation in therapy. The goals is for our clients to leave therapy with the skills and confidence that they can manage the challenges that come with everyday life. Learning such skills will directly help with increasing the quality of your relationships and decrease the negative impact of your anger in areas such as work, school, and family difficulties. It can also potentially help avoid any negative legal outcomes.

We all get angry sometimes. The issue is what you do with your anger. If you act it out in ways that hurt yourself or other people, that’s where the problems lie. You may express you anger physically by hitting people, hurting yourself, or breaking things. You may also express your anger by saying things that get you in trouble or damage your relationships. Sometimes it’s what you say, and sometimes it’s how you say it. Together, we can sort it out. We’ll see what triggers the anger and how you express it. We’ll work to undo the triggers and find other ways of dealing with the anger when it arises.

Do you find that you are prone to angry outbursts in your relationships? Do you have a hard time with frustration tolerance? Through an empathic and collaborative approach, you will learn how to identify and understand your feelings and triggers, develop the capacity for frustration tolerance, and strengthen your coping skills so that your anger is no longer a destructive force in your life.

I have a great deal of experience working with anger issues and domestic violence situations. DV is especially important to address because of the reaction of the children pulled into this dynamic. Cognitive Behavioral methods are taught which are easy to implement. We will look for the source of anger and find different redirected behaviors to replace anger. Mindfullness and various relaxation methods will be discussed. However, you will have input and final say in setting goals and in laying out our approaches to dealing with anger. We work together as equals, without judment.

I believe anger is a secondary emotion, covering other feelings such as grief, depression, anxiety, and/or hurt. Often times anger management is a signal for a need for trauma work, which can include explore prior experiences that felt stuck or emotionally taxing. Often times when others are angry, it's the only way they can feel heard-- having anger is not the problem, it's, what we do with the anger is what needs to be explored as appropriate or not.

As a culture, we do not do well with healthy expressions of anger. Often we are raised to suppress it and then we have limited practice at dealing with big emotion. There is a spectrum of healthy aggression- to keep us safe and to maintain boundaries- and rage- our body's strategy for safety. Anger management is about applying the right "dosing" to maintain boundaries yet not fracture relationships or suffer other losses. I am able to help you learn to regulate your body to be able to apply the appropriate "dose" to be effective and not destructive.

Consider anger a socially acceptable mask that we wear to protect ourselves from more vulnerable feelings. It’s easier to show anger than hurt feelings. The way I work with anger is to explore what’s fueling the anger, what’s underneath it. Once the underlying feelings are identified and acknowledged, the anger becomes less intense and more manageable. I also use a somatic approach to anger, using physiological cues to recognize it before it grows out of control.

Grey Matters International and the work of Kevin J. Fleming, Ph.D approaches issues of anger management in a very humane yet fresh perspective. You see, anger is a normal emotion but it is the valence (intensity) as well as the coupling choice of what one does with this that is the problem. Telling someone to "not" do it or modifying behavior with a trite psychological plan that only breeds a compliant response is not the way to change anger. Brainwave optimization is a new cutting edge technology that allows one to rewire circuitry responsible for reactivity driving the anger. Contact Grey Matters International, Inc now at kevin@kevinflemingphd.com or 877-606-6161.

IS ANGER MAKING YOUR LIFE MORE DIFFICULT? Are concerned about losing your relationships or job due to anger? Have you tried ways to control it but nothing worked? I can help you learn effective strategies to manage your mental state so that you will be in control of your life instead of being the slave of your emotions. Call me for a free telephone consultation session today to be one step closer to the kind of life you truly want.