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Critical growth and development occur in the final weeks of pregnancy, so babies that are born early are at risk for a number of medical and cognitive problems. The majority of infant deaths result from very early birth. [More]

By Debra Bacon Theravive.com Contributor Great News Remember the first time you were expecting a child; you couldn’t wait to tell everyone! Now another baby is on the way. The excitement is just as fierce as the first time, but there is more to consider than sharing the news with friends and extended family. Big brother or sister must be prepared for the “new” baby’s arrival. Telling your child becomes as big a responsibility as other preparations of the upcoming birth. The child has been accustomed to being the focus of mom and dad’s love and attention. To have this focus shared with another is usually upsetting for the sibling to be. Often parents will wait until the last few months of the pregnancy to tell the child about their sibling’s birth. The pregnancy is more stable, and it is getting closer to the time of delivery. Moreover, children’s concept of time is not as refined as adults. They can better understand seasons more than weeks or months, depending on their age. No Longer the Baby, but a Sibling Prepare your child in ways they can understand. For example, if one of their playmates has had a baby born into their family recently, use the situation as an example. Following are some tips to help a child prepare for the birth of a sibling: Tell them the new baby will be coming home with you from the hospital, and will be living with all of you as a family. Explain how the child can help in the process of caring for the infant. Let them know the importance of an older sibling’s role in the family. Use age appropriate books to help the child understand what it means to be a brother or sister. How they interact and help each other, share things; even their parents. Include the child in the plans for the baby’s room, if appropriate. Talk to them about some names you are considering. The Hospital and Birth Ensure your child knows you will be in the hospital for a few days and that it is normal. This will help eliminate anxiety they may experience about your safety and health. Talk about where they will be staying during this time, and how they can come and visit you while there. Plan for your child to visit you and the baby at a time specifically designed for the immediate family only. Introduce them to their new sibling and allow them to touch and possibly hold them with assistance, if appropriate. Have the other parent care for the newborn while you spend time focused on your child, to answer any questions they may have, or just have quality time together. We’re Home When bringing the baby home, make it a celebration where the big brother or sister is involved. Allow them to lead you and the baby to their new room, and show them around, or offer the baby a gift they have made for them. If the child is not interested there is not a need for concern. Change takes time and they will come around. Since your schedule will be interrupted with the newborns needs, take advantage of times where you can spend uninterrupted time with the newborns sibling. During feeding times, make sure your child has toys or other items of interest, so that they are entertained. This will help in keeping them from feeling they are not involved, or are left out. With time, the schedule will begin to flow and the family will take on its new shape.

By Christie Hunter: View Christie's Profile What Are Doorways? This is the first blog in a new series of blogs called "Doorways". A doorway represents and symoblizes a new place, a new journey in life. Beyond the door is another world, one that is different than the one behind it, yet still connected. In order to reach the doorway before us, we had to live the life behind us, for it brought us here to this place. And like all doorways, it requires a choice...action on our part. We can stay here and look at it, or perhaps open it slightly and peer through as a spectator, or maybe even turn around and walk backwards down the path we came....or we can take a new step, close a chapter behind us, and start a new journey. Like all doorways, to experience what lies ahead, you must actually step through. Our first doorway that I will talk about is the one so many of us have already walked through- becoming a parent! Here Comes Baby! Welcome to the world of parenting! Its here…whether you prepared for it or not. And now, you are going to have to make some adjustments! Some of them will come naturally, some of them not so naturally. You are probably getting advice from everywhere. The best overall advice I can give you is…enjoy it! The moments will go by so fast, and by the time you turn around, it will seem like a fleeing memory. Don’t get caught up in all the minute details…”Am I eating enough? Did I take my supplements? Did I buy the right crib?, ect.” The more you get hung up on all the fine details, the less likely you are to create special memories that your heart will cherish. More than anything, find time to just enjoy life, and embrace each step, each phase of life as a parent, from pregnancy, to birth, to baby, to toddler, all the way to young adult. It will go by so fast. Transitions This series I will talk about what it is to be a new parent. I will discuss some myths, and some very real challenges that will hit you straight in the head if you aren’t prepared for them. The sad truth is that many relationships end after the birth of a child, and having a good understanding of what happens during transition from couple to parents is critical for your future happiness. The adjustment into parenting is one of the most challenging and rewarding periods for a couple. The anticipation of waiting for the arrival of your child, whether through the course of a pregnancy or while waiting for an adoption to complete, creates an extensive list of hopes, dreams, and expectations for your future as parents and for your child. Focusing on these exciting options, preparing the baby’s room, and thinking about the arrival of your bundle of joy can many times overlook the preparation needed for your marriage as you and your spouse transition from just the two of you to a family of three. This first series of blogs are designed to help bring awareness to the many changes couples may face as they embark on parenting. You Are The Best Guide The first consideration is that no amount of planning, no amount of preparing, no book, no advice, and no blog is going to fully prepare you for the changes of becoming parents. How much experience parenting did anyone else have the first time they became parents? The answer is none, of course. Being a parent is a journey you must take on your own, each journey is fully unique from all others. Recognizing that you will not be able to control all circumstances with your baby and that your resources will be maxed out helps to create an environment of flexibility and resilience to these unplanned events. If you are going in to parenting with an expectation of being able to plan and schedule all events relating to your child, you will likely be disappointed and frustrated. Being realistic about your expectations of both your child and yourself is a great start towards adjusting to both the anticipated and the unpredictable situations. Expect And Prepare For Change Our human nature is to prepare, to learn, to anticipate situations so we can make the best choices and thus have the best possible outcomes. When you bring a child into the family structure of your marriage this changes not only your identity as an individual, you are now a mother or a father, but also your identity in your relationship with your spouse. Together you share a unique opportunity to teach, to train, and to guide your child. This job requires a great deal of time, effort, and emotional resource. As you try to balance these demands in your life and marriage, some areas of your life will receive less. Often, this comes from what we give to our spouse and the effect is a slow distance that develops in what was once a strong and exciting relationship. Next, we will discuss some of the expectations…and disappointments that new parents will often face. Have you ever heard someone tell you that being a parent is a 100% self-sacrifice? Probably most new parents have heard this from someone or have read it somewhere. The truth is, that it is not, and this is actually quite a risky philosophy to have, one that I do not recommend. Being a parent can be a 100% self gain. We will talk about how this can be and other myths next time. About Christie Christie is a Certified Management Accountant (CMA) with the CMA Society of Canada and a Registered Clinical Counsellor (R.C.C.) with the British Columbia Association of Clinical Counsellors. She holds a dual specialty in Marriage & Family Therapy and Trauma Resolution. View Christie's Profile