Theravive Home

A new study published in Taylor & Francis looked at forced separation between people and their companion animals. “The research was about people and pets that shared a human-animal bond and had experienced a crisis situation, such as domestic violence, homelessness and natural disasters,” study author Jasmine Montgomery told us. [More]

Homelessness is a chronic issue plaguing our society at large. Since the 2008 recession, the problem is not getting better but only worse. [More]

Unexpected life events are disruptive and can throw your whole life into chaos. People are creatures of habit and thrive in an environment where they feel safe and free from harm. But life just isn’t usually like this. Events that are out of our control are inevitable in everyone’s life, and are a major source of stress. [More]

When a parent dies, it can feel like our past is ripped apart. For a child, to lose a parent is like a loss of their future. Here are steps to begin the process of healing. [More]

September 10 is World Suicide Prevention Day. On this day, governments lead new initiatives to help prevent suicide, conferences and lectures are provided to raise awareness about suicide, and candlelight ceremonies are held in remembrance of those who died from suicide. Suicide and suicidal thoughts affect individuals all across the globe. According to the World Health Organization (WHO), about 1 million people commit suicide every year.[1] On average, this means that someone dies from suicide every 40 seconds and someone attempts to commit suicide every 3 seconds. These statistics are tragically high. The WHO estimates that more people die from suicide than from armed conflicts. For teenagers and young adults, suicide is one of the primary causes of death. Suicide also tends to be more common among men than women. Country with the Highest Suicide Rate The country with the highest rate of suicide in the world is Greenland.[2] Even Japan, a country that has a history of high suicide rates, has 51 suicides per 100,000 residents. In Greenland, 100 die from suicide per 100,000 inhabitants. This mental health issue is so widespread that just about everyone in Greenland knows someone who has committed suicide. And this is a historically recent phenomenon. In the early 1900s, this country’s suicide rate was merely 0.3 people per 100,000 residents. This rate dramatically increased in the latter part of the 20th century, especially in the 1970s and 1980s. Researchers argue that residents of Greenland employ suicide methods that allow for a low chance of survival. 9 in 10 men commit suicide through shootings or hangings, and this method of killing also applies to 7 in 10 women. It is difficult to determine why suicide is so prevalent in Greenland. Some theorists suggest that it can create a vicious cycle; once one person commits suicide, others may become more inclined to do the same. Some point to Greenland’s issues with poverty. Others highlight that 88% of the country’s population is Inuit, and much like North America, many of them suffer from alcoholism. Though Greenland has very harsh winters (which could contribute to depression), studies show that the highest rates of suicide occur in the summer. Suicide in North America Though suicide is not as prevalent as it is in Greenland, the United States and Canada continue to suffer from suicides. In 2009 in the United States, there were 36,909 deaths from suicide – and this number is higher for men than women, as well as for people of color than Caucasians.[3] (For more information about the relationship between minority groups and mental health issues, read What Can You Do to Raise Awareness?). Between 2008 and 2009, suicide was the only leading cause of death in the United States that showed a significant increase. Suicide is the 10th leading cause of death for Americans, and there are 12 suicides per 100,000 residents. Similar to the United States, in 2009 Canada’s suicide rate was 11.5 suicides per 100,000 residents. In Canada, the highest rates of suicide occur among those between the ages of 40 and 59, and suicide is again more common among men than women. Suicide Rates: Men Versus Women Again and again, studies have found that suicide rates tend to be higher among men than women. This is a difficult pattern to explain, but Payne et al. suggest that our socially constructed notions of masculinity and femininity may have an effect on suicidal behaviors. Because male gender roles focus more on strength and risk-taking behaviors, men may be more likely than females to commit suicide.[4] Men might also feel more pressure to be ambitious and successful, which can lead to depression in times of economic turmoil and higher rates of unemployment. This is especially difficult when men feel the need to provide for their family. Therapy to Help Prevent Suicide Suicide is a serious mental health issue, but there are ways to help prevent it. Active Minds is an organization that aims to raise awareness and provide support for suicide prevention. They stress the importance of seeking help if you or someone you know suffers from suicidal thoughts or behaviors. They have a 24-hour suicide prevention lifeline (1-800-273-TALK or 1-800-273-8255) if you or someone you know needs to talk to someone. Long-term therapy is also highly recommended for those suffering from suicidal tendencies. According to WHO, friends and family members of those contemplating suicide should also look for warning signs. If you discover that someone you know is threatening to harm him or herself, do not hesitate to seek help. [1] Suicide. 2013. World Health Organization. [online] Available at: <http://www.who.int/topics/suicide/en/> [Accessed 2 September 2013]. [2] George, J. 9 October 2009. The Suicide Capital of the World. Slate. [online[ Available at: <http://www.slate.com/articles/news_and_politics/dispatches/2009/10/the_suicide_capital_of_the_world.single.html#pagebreak_anchor_2> [Accessed 2 September 2013]. [3] Kochanek, K.D. et al. 29 November 2011. National Vital Statistics Report, v 50 no 3. [online] Available at: <http://www.cdc.gov/nchs/data/nvsr/nvsr60/nvsr60_03.pdf> [Accessed 2 September 2013]. [4] Payne et al. 2008. The social construction of gender and its influence on suicide: a review of the literature. Journal of Men's Health. [online] Available at: <http://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S1875686708000146> [Accessed 2 September 2013].

Directed by Canadian Film Maker Mr.James Cameron Like all great artists and masters of language, Mr. Cameron's genius opens up the deeper and sometimes hidden collective themes and truths of life. On the surface, "The Abyss" presents a good story filled with elements of mission, danger and risk. Basically the story is about a team of people on an undersea drilling rig who are asked by the military to salvage a wrecked submarine in the depths of the ocean. The incentive for the team's acceptance is money. They are beset by numerous catastrophes; however, in the midst of these they encounter an advanced non human race of aquatic beings living in the deeper abyss. These translucent beautiful aliens can only be compared to the angelic. The hero is played by Ed Harris and he is married to the heroine Mary Elizabeth Mastrantonio. In the midst of their heightened marital discord and disharmony, they must join forces for the sake of the mission. It seems an impossible task for them to transcend their anger and bitterness toward one another. The Armour We Wear I was reminded of many underlying truths presented in and through this story. The personas we choose to develop at the early stages of our lives are usually quite strategic. These masks, or coverings, are usually linked with our basic needs to belong, to be loved, to be included and to feel a sense of self worth. Appearances and what one displays to the world, may hide that which is hidden in the depths of one’s being. In the abyss of one’s heart and soul there may be such caged pain, bitterness, resentment and anger. If the basic needs to feel a sense of self confidence and self worth have been compromised during the developmental stages of one’s life, then pain sets in. This affect may be too difficult to handle and a primal reaction is released. Skins or walls are grown around the pain so one does not have to feel insignificant. As I watched the heroine, I was reminded how we, as humans, all have a common ground. However unique we are, we all share this truth: the basic need to be regarded with dignity and respect. The challenge of true growth is often thrown at us in unexpected and vicarious ways. It is very often that in the midst of a crisis, loss and earth shattering experience that our walls crumble, armour falls and skins are shed. We are enthralled... as the story becomes more complicated with the uncovering of an evil plot brought aboard by two of the military members. The heroine is shunned by the team. Although she is clever and can run a ship, they see her as an arrogant and dominating woman who is far too self serving. She wears her intelligence and superior position as a threat to others. However, it is to this woman that the angelic beings first appear in the depths of her despair and helplessness. The story takes us through chaos, the struggle between good and evil, the threat of nuclear war, the limits of humanity, pride and humility which finally lead to redemption. The essential and core threads that create this marvellous tapestry are the moral choices made by the hero and heroine: the husband and wife. Initially we see the enraged husband take off his wedding band and throw it into the toilet only to turn back and retrieve what he has thrown away. As the story unfolds, he is the one who looks upon his unconscious apparently drowned wife and with determined passion brings her back to life. It is the crisis that returns them to their original love through choices of forgiveness and sacrifice. We witness the vulnerability and tears of the real heroine underneath her armour after her encounter with death and her rescue by her husband. When at the crescendo of the film the hero is as well at death's door, he is saved by the gentle graceful alien of the seas. She communicates to him an eternal truth which he embraces and which indeed makes him a hero. It is in the simple acts of forgiveness to our spouse and as well the moral choices that we make for the good of the other that set us free. Each time we forgive the other and each time we look to others before ourselves, we become heroes of our own lives. "Only the weak hang on to hatred and bitterness ... the strong ones forgive." - Mahatma Gandhi

The origins of Thanksgiving have nothing to do with a bunch of Indians and pilgrims sitting down for a bountiful feast of turkey. In reality although the settlers with pale faces had been bothering the Indians in addition to giving them many new diseases they had never had were starving by this time. The Indians took pity on them and brought them some corn and fish. Thanksgiving has a lot of emotional disappointment and this article will show you how to deal with this. This is a period of time in which you are expected to give to others and be generous. Although the intention is good it often leads to self sacrifice and disappointment. This is a period of time in which you must balance your newfound humanitarianism with the demands on your own life. If you do not continue to reach your own immediate goals either at work or at home you will find yourself being irritable and exhausted. Remember that an obligation to give to others does not mean that you have to sacrifice your own needs. You must remember to give yourself some time for your own physical and mental well-being. It is a time when we most often neglect the things we do to make ourselves happy and keep ourselves balanced like exercise, yoga, or other spiritual practices for your own physical and mental well-being This is a time to find some positive solutions to deal with your family members past resentments. Remember that when I family system gets back together it quickly returns to whatever difficulties encountered before. Even if you're the only person in the room aware of this it may help you from dealing with the fallacy that "now that we're all together we must be alright." This leads to the need to decide on your priorities and organize your time adequately. I this will counteract your feelings that you have not a planned enough for Thanksgiving. If you find additional time you can always volunteer to feed the poor would do random acts of kindness. You may also need to have planned out some unstructured inexpensive holiday activity because this holiday evokes a feeling of being served good food rather than organizing fun things to participate in. Spending some time thinking about this will save the day when you are reunited with your family and no one knows what to do. One of the major fallacies are that Thanksgiving will take away feelings of loneliness, sadness, fear, anger and frustration. This holiday is heavily advertised is a time in which everyone appreciates being together. The fallacy behind that becomes clear when you are reuniting with family members and you realize why you have become independent of them. You may find yourself being overwhelmed with anger or fear or worse yet feeling alone being surrounded by your family. The worst emotion that creeps up on this holiday is resentment. It is usually triggered by a previous bad relationship with a family member. Beware of grudges and slights you have suffered in the past and keep them from resurfacing. Thanksgiving is designed to encourage gluttony. This is not an open invitation to eat too much. Remember that most people with eating disorders simply want to have something to control in their lives and to avoid the resentment and self-hatred you will naturally feel after eating way past feeling hungry. This includes other over indulgences. You know by now what you need to keep a careful eye on so that you don't lose control and this may be an opportunity to set an example with other family members who still have raging addictions. You may want to have some contingency plans when they become abusively angry, drunk or chemically impaired. If it the end of the holiday feast you find yourself still feeling depressed or resentful remember what the Indians did. They didn't like these foreigners who is strange customs and behaviors showed such a resentment towards nature that it disrupted and destroyed the Indian culture. Yet they still took pity on these poor starving people and threw them a fish or two.

By Debra Bacon Theravive.com Contributor When a breakup occurs, picking up the pieces of our life can be a daunting task. It may seem impossible to imagine feeling “normal” again. The pain associated with a breakup can leave us feeling overwhelmed, confused, lonely and sad. No matter the cause of the breakup, it disrupts your life in ways that are unsettling. However, there are ways to grow and learn from the experience, as you process the loss. Overcoming loss A breakup--whether a long-term dating relationship, or divorce--wreaks havoc on your emotions. The void left in your life after calling it quits is not easy to fill. It is very important to take care of yourself during this time. After a relationship fails, feelings of intense grief, stress and regret over lost dreams and shared goals set in. Things are unfamiliar, and other relationships are affected. How to handle relationships with mutual friends and extended family members of whom you have become close too can be difficult and stressful to determine. You may even question you own identity. Depending on the length of time together, more often than not, you shared everything from activities, to dining and hanging out. You may begin to stress over questions like: How will you fill your time? What will it be like to be alone? Will you ever find someone else, or even want to? Don’t go it alone. Reach out to your family and close friends for support or join a support group. Bottling up your feelings will only heighten stress levels. Don’t be afraid to seek professional counseling. Allow feelings. The idea of allowing ourselves to feel the hurt in our heart and mind is almost unbearable. However, it is a necessary step in grieving. You may experience feeling of anger, resentment, sadness, relief, fear, and confusion. Recognize these feelings and realize where and why they are present. Work through it. Keep a journal. Writing down your feelings helps hash things out in your mind. Often it provides an outlet for frustration, or a place to record our future hopes and milestones. Be honest with yourself in your journa l. Don’t allow guilt to overcome you on the days you feel fine or you feel a renewed spirit within you. Relish them, there are more to come as healing progresses. Take things slowly. Give yourself a break. It is okay to feel differently than before. Rediscover your passions in life and slowly begin to venture out and act on them. Remember to take things one step at a time, one day at a time. Healing takes time, be kind to yourself, and remember you will move past the hurt. You can make it. Lessons learned From every crisis, an open door is before us, and a closed one behind. Take this time in between the two, to grow emotionally and spiritually. There will come a time when you will reflect on things you have learned from the experience. To completely reconcile yourself from the breakup and move on, it is important to understand what happened and what role each of you played in the relationship, and ultimate breakup. As you begin to heal and apply lessons learned from your decisions, you are likely not to make the same mistakes again.

How can I tell if my marriage is in trouble? [More]