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Winter is here and with the change of the season comes an unwelcome shift in mood for almost 10% of the population in some regions of the country. Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) is considered a type of major depressive disorder, according to the American Psychiatric Association. [More]

The glamorization of drama on television and in reality shows paints a very different picture about how intimate female friendships are in real life. Friendships are being displayed publicly where the women are acting like they are still going through the " toddler terrible two's." We are all ultimately being represented in an extremely negative manner by these shows. [More]

In a short time, we will be gathering around our families and loved ones, reflecting on the things for that which we are thankful. We'll be cherishing the gifts, blessings and happiness that may have come our way this year, paving the way for the holiday season. But what if you're not feeling quite so thankful this year? For many people, finding reasons to be grateful for the good in life may not be so easy, especially if there has been a lot of bad this year. [More]

Have you ever felt as if happiness is just a dream and not something truly reachable? It's easy to feel this way because acquiring something we believe will make us happy usually leaves us wanting more, instead... [More]

Stress is a daily reality for most of us. Mindfulness is an effective therapeutic way to help calm yourself and find peace. [More]

Do you have difficulty finding the positives in life? I've talked to plenty of clients who will come in and admit that it's not always comfortable for them to reflect on their own achievements. This happens when we find ourselves dwelling on the negatives of life as we go through our days... [More]

A full one third of your entire adult life...or more...is spent at work. If you hate your job, that spells unending misery. Career change is not only possible, but do-able! Here are some things to consider. [More]

Though we don't typically associate the two, sadness and joy are more closely linked than you might think. Have you ever been in a situation where you feel mildly or even severely depressed, but then feel better after letting it out? The venting of melancholic emotions does just that: it lets everything out. That is why activities that may elicit a strong, emotional reaction (such as a sad movie) can actually bring us to a more positive mood at the end. [More]

Those Catchy Emotions: It is Friday, and we are excited for the weekend. That is, until we run across that one person who can always find the dark cloud on a sunny day. No matter how determined we are to try to avoid them, it seems that something about them just zaps our excitement, and makes us feel grumpy or sad. How is it that our moods seem to be contagious, and we take on the emotions of those around us? It is not just your imagination. There has been research that proves that negative, and positive, attitudes are catchy.[1] Elaine Hatfield and Richard Rapson from the University of Hawaii suggested years ago that emotional mimicry had 3 stages of effect on our emotions. The first stage happens when, as people communicate, they continually mimic the facial expressions, postures, and other behaviors of the person with whom they are communicating. The second stage is that people have an emotional experience based on their own facial muscles and other movement that is being mimicked. The third stage is that by experiencing the first 2 stages, people “catch” the emotions of another person.[2] We pick up the subtle facial expressions, body language, and other cues, and mimic them. This explains the impulse that happens when we see someone yawn. We can’t help but yawn too. Our body and mind associate the feeling from the change in muscle with the emotion that we have when we experience those muscle changes ourselves, and our emotions follow along with the physical changes we mimic from others. But, Wait, There’s More A more recent study goes a step further by associating a risk factor for depression being contagious when a major life transition is involved. [3] The study conducted at the University of Notre Dame followed 103 random pairs of college freshmen roommates. Freshmen whose roommates had high cognitive vulnerability were more likely to take on their roommate’s cognitive style and develop similar vulnerabilities. On the other hand, the students who were paired with low vulnerability roommates actually decreased their cognitive vulnerability. Those in the study who showed an increase in cognitive vulnerability in the first 3 months of the study had almost twice the symptoms of depression at the 6 month period than the other group. [4] Cognitive vulnerability is a measure for assessing risk of depressive symptoms. Someone with a high vulnerability will perceive negative events as persistent over time, they think it will affect many areas of their life, think that it will lead to other negative consequences, and they also think that the negative event implies that there is something wrong with them.[5] This way of viewing negative events increases the likely outcome of depression. The Notre Dame study confirms that our cognitive vulnerability can change with relationship to our social context. If we place ourselves around positive people, we will find ourselves better equipped to fight off depressive symptoms than if we place ourselves around those who are not as capable of dealing with depression. Another study on the resilience of cognitive vulnerability to depression asserts that if an intervention takes place before cognitive vulnerability develops, or after it develops, but before depression, resilience is highly likely.[6] In order to protect ourselves from the effects of being subjected to constant negativity, we can equip ourselves with the tools for resilience. Realizing that we can be effected by others negative emotions, is likely enough for many, but counseling can help to avoid being caught up in the negative thinking. Some Good News The good news is that this contagious thinking works both ways. Those who are around someone who is happy, also tend to catch the happiness. So the way to break out of the negative social contagion is to interject the positive. It is not always easy to change another person’s way of thinking, but understanding what causes some of the negative could help facilitate awareness and empathy for them without being influenced by their mood. If we consciously notice when we are mimicking the person to whom we are speaking, we can prevent ourselves from following along, and possibly reverse the effect by smiling when we see that frown. Not only will it prevent your body from assessing the muscle memory with the negative emotion, but you may just be able to turn the other person around by being that constant positive influence in their day. Helping Hands If you have events or people in your life that consistently bring you down, don’t be slow to seek help. The sooner the negative is turned around the less chance there is for depression, or other lasting effects. A therapist can help you by being equipped with the right tools for the situation, and protect your resilience. For more information that doesn’t bring you down, read Don’t Let Discouragement Discourage You. [1] British Medical Journal (2008, December 4). Dynamic spread of happiness in a large social network: longitudinal analysis over 20 years in the Framingham Heart Study. Retrieved from http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2600606/ [2] Hatfield, E., & Rapson, R. (n.d.). Emotional Contagion and the Communication of Emotion. Progress in Communication Sciences, 14, 73-89. Retrieved from http://www.elainehatfield.com/ch58.pdf [3] Association for Psychological Science (2013, April 18). Risk Factor for Depression Can Be ‘Contagious’. Retrieved from http://www.psychologicalscience.org/index.php/news/releases/risk-factor-for-depression-can-be-contagious.html [4] Ibid. [5] Haeffel, G. J., & Et al (2008). Measuring Cognitive Vulnerability to Depression: Development and Validation of the Cognitive Style Questionnaire. Science Direct Clinical Psychology Review, 28, 824-836. [6] Haeffel, G. J., & Grigorenko, E. L. (2007). Cognitive Vulnerability to Depression: Exploring Risk and Resilience. Child and Adolescent Pschiatric Clinics of North America, 16, 435-448.

Where's the Love Gone? You don't know when it dawned on you that you and your partner were at odds with each other, avoiding the cues and rationalizing the disagreements, but at some point you realized, "Life is not so peachy any more." The peach days were vibrant- full of sweet exchanges, soft touches and loving gestures. You swore to yourself that there would never come a day when her touch wouldn't be electric, his quirky sense of humor adorable, and yet here you are. Wondering when the resentments started, where the affection went and when all those delightful habits suddenly became dull and bothersome. If your relationship sounds anything like the above, you're not alone. When couples are in gridlock, it becomes increasingly difficult to stay invested in the relationship and work through tough problems. At an impasse, couples are usually hurt, bitter, angry and resentful. It's important to remember that relationships naturally ebb and flow, struggling with various obstacles through all different stages of the relationship. According to the Seattle-based Gottman Institute,the average couple waits six years before seeking help for ongoing marital problems. Additionally, half of all marriages that end do so in the first seven years. This means the average couple lives with unhappiness for far too long. Learning to identify when discord arises in your relationship will allow you to nip those disagreements in the bud early on, without the endless emotional baggage. So how can you rekindle the love in your relationship and learn to appreciate your partner's idiosyncrasies? The Gottman Institute suggests that by getting to know each other again, as if for the first time, allows for a fresh perspective to unfold. By making a routine of asking about your significant other's inner worldview- their dreams, hopes, aspirations and fears- will allow for space to emerge to reconnect with one another and allow your partner in on your ever-changing life story, so that the experience is shared for the both of you. In a committed relationship, the more you choose to weather the storm together instead of doing it alone, the closer and more connected you can become. Another way to strengthen your relationship is to turn towards your partner with affection. Couples often do what are called "bids for affection" (Gottman, Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work, 1999). These bids happen instinctively; a natural process in order to receive satisfaction, love and support from one another. In newer relationships, these bids are exchanged frequently and freely- without thinking. Couples heightened awareness of each other at this stage makes it easy to spot those subtle cues and respond accordingly. If you learn to pinpoint when your partner is making a bid and can respond immediately to it, you create a space for trust, affirmation and deeper meaning of the relationship. Redefining your common interests, traditions and shared meanings about life add to the value and success of your relationship. Families have unique customs, traditions and rituals they innately create for themselves. A family's story is constantly being strengthened or re-storied to fit the needs and desires of their unique lifestyle. By recreating a shared meaning system, couples are less likely to have perpetual problems with potential gridlock and more likely to continue the building blocks for a more long-term, happy and connected family unit. This also happens inadvertently when you explore your partner's inner worldview and get familiar with their desires again. Relationships take time, investment and energy to stay strong. They are not static, but instead are constantly evolving. The key to keeping the love alive is to think of your relationship as a continuous narrative, with a surplus of endings. You and your significant partner are the authors- together developing, creating and changing the story to your liking along the way. Throwing assumptions out the door and recognizing that your ideas about life purpose, meaning and direction will shift and change, along with your spouse's, allows for more commitment to falling in love, over and over again. If you feel as though your relationship has been unusually tense lately with no resolve, remember to detect the warning signs of relationship crisis early on so you and your partner can make quick and effective changes to rebuild and strengthen your relationship for continued success.