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By Tanya Glover Theravive.com Contributor As complex human beings, we all can benefit from self refection and self awareness. They are both important parts of who we are and who we aim to become. Self Awareness Being self aware means having the ability look within ourselves to get a clear snapshot of our thoughts, beliefs, emotions, motivations and our personality in general. Becoming self aware is harder than one may think. It is not just simply being aware, but experiencing a heightened sense of awareness. Though this heightened awareness you can more easily interpret your thoughts and emotions and figure out what your true feelings and motivations are. Self awareness if important because once you are able to figure out these things about yourself, you can make the changes you need to make your life better. Emotional intelligence (being able to identify and control your emotions) is directly connected to becoming self aware and plays an important role in becoming a successful human being. Why Be Self Aware? By becoming self aware, you are creating the things you need to become in control of your emotions and behaviors. When you reach a high level of self awareness it is almost as if your thoughts are speaking to you directly, helping you to figure out what paths to take in your life. You will be able to control how you react to things and how to focus your attentions to the most beneficial areas. These things are what help you to make positive changes in your life. Without self awareness, it can be very difficult to steer your thoughts and emotions in a healthy direction and you may find it hard to make good decisions in your life. In essence, becoming self aware is the first step on the journey to finding the best you are and how to direct that energy into positive directions. Self awareness is also a vital part in having good and healthy relationships. This goes for romantic relationships, friendships, family relationships and relationships with co-workers. By changing the way your mind interprets what you think you are able to also change your emotions which in turn helps to enhance the quality of the relationships in your life. Being self aware also allows you to understand others better and be able to empathize with them which also helps build better relationships. How to Become Self Aware The most basic way to begin your development of self awareness is to practice putting your focus on all the details of your personality and behaviors, even the smallest details as they can prove to be the most important things that effect who we are. You cannot learn how to become self aware by reading a book. A book can indeed teach you things and but you on the right path to self awareness, but you have to remember that when reading a book, what you are focusing your attention on is the concepts it is teaching you. What you must focus on to become self aware in the concepts in your own mind that deal with you, your emotions and your behaviors. In a way, learning how to become self aware is like learning a new dance step. You are conscious of each step you are making and to the beat of the music. Think of yourself as the dancer who has to pay attention to the beat of the music. The dance is you and the beat is your mind and the consciousness of what it contains. When you are a dancer and you make a misstep, you have to rethink what caused it. It is the same way when you are becoming self aware. When you experience a stressful or emotional situation or moment we must stop and take it all. By doing this you are looking for the triggers of your emotion or behavior. If you can figure this out, you can avoid the triggers or find a way to confront them, changing how your react to them. According to many mental health professionals, there are five specific ways for a person to become happier in their lives through self awareness. ØChange your core beliefs ØHush the voices in your head telling you to react ØPut a stop to having purely emotional reactions ØPut communication and respect at the top of your relationship priority list ØDo whatever you can to create a life filled with happiness and love (self love especially) in your life. Self Reflection Self reflection is not much different than self awareness and they are very much connected to each other. The definition of self reflection is the exercising of introspection, coupled with the willingness to learn about yourself, in order to help achieve self awareness. Self reflection is something that has been practiced from the early days of man and is deeply rooted in philosophy. Self reflection in the world of philosophy refers to the understanding of your mentality, beliefs, and life desires. According to philosophical beliefs on self reflection, all of our thoughts and sensations come with beliefs that have an effect the fact that we are having those thoughts and beliefs (Locke, 1689). That may sound complicated but honestly, it is a very simple concept. Simply put, our thoughts and beliefs are directly impacted by the emotions and sensations that come with those beliefs. This is why it is important to self reflect and become self aware. Conclusion Again, a book cannot teach you how to do these things. However, a book can help you to figure out how to get there yourself. There are also many self help programs to guide you on your journey. Your journey can also be aided by talking with a professional counselor. The importance of learning self awareness and self refection cannot be stressed enough as they will help you to be a better person for yourself and those whom you love.

By Tanya Glover Theravive.com Contributor If you are like me (and so many others in the world) and have driving anxiety you know how horrible it can be to be behind the wheel of a car when these anxious feeling kick in. Knowing what your triggers are and having a plan to overcome panic associated with your anxieties is the key to staying safe and possibly overcoming your fears altogether. Triggers for Driving Anxiety For someone with driving associated anxiety there can be many triggers that kick you into high gear. ØDriving in heavy traffic ØDriving in inclement weather ØDriving on interstates ØDriving in an unfamiliar place ØDriving at night Maybe just one of these things trigger your driving anxiety or maybe they all do. Personally, each one of these triggers apply directly to me so if they do to you as well know that you are not alone in this! Why Are These Triggers? All triggers have a root. Unless you suffer for general anxiety disorder, there is some reason that specific conditions trigger your driving anxiety. Listed below are some common trigger roots. ØFear of getting lost ØFear of getting into an accident ØFear of being driving at high speeds ØFear of other drivers in general These are all common roots to your driving anxieties. Again, you can have them all or just one or two but for me it is all of them! I have always had a fear of driving at high speeds and this is linked to the trigger of interstate driving. It was not until after I had my driver’s license for 10 years that I actually took control and learned to drive on interstate highways. I still cannot do it anxiety free but I can do it! Many people also fear getting into an accident which links to all of the triggers! Rain, heavy traffic, speed and darkness can all contribute to accidents. Fear of getting lost and fear of driving in unfamiliar places can also tie in with the heavy traffic trigger. In my mind, if I get lost then I have to find a spot to turn around and this may get me lost even further and put me back into traffic. If I am in an unfamiliar area when I miss a turn then the anxiety amplifies by 10X! Even though I have these anxieties I have learned not to let them cripple me as I do not want to lose the freedom that driving provides me with. You do not have to let it overcome you either. There are things you can do to ease your anxiety in all driving situations that make you fearful so read on to find your freedom! Build an Anxiety First Aid Kit If you know you may get into a driving situation that will bring on your anxiety bring with you an anxiety first aid kit. In fact, always keep this in your car as you never know when the need for it may arise. What should you include in your kit? ØCell phone charger- Make sure you can easily contact someone if you need help on the road. ØRelaxation CD- This can be soothing sounds, classical music or anything else that may be relaxing for you. Mediation tapes are great as well but make sure you keep your eyes on the road! ØGPS- Having a navigation system can help you to find your way around easily and eliminate the fear of getting lost or missing a turn. ØAnti-anxiety medication- If your doctor has prescribed an anti-anxiety medication make sure you keep some in your car at all times. This can help put a stop to your anxiety before it gets out of control. ØA paper bag- While some medical professionals are now saying this is not the best idea to deal with hyperventilation, if you are old school and have used it in the past then throw a paper bag into that kit as well or ask your doctor about other methods you can use for hyperventilation. ØA bottle of water- This is to keep you hydrated (getting overly anxious can dehydrate you quickly) as well as to have something with you to take medication if necessary. If none of these items bring you anxiety relief then there are other options for overcoming it. Self Help Programs Self Help programs can teach you how to overcome your fear of driving and as well as tips to overcome your driving anxiety. A program that is directed specifically toward driving anxiety should include a CD and that can be very helpful to listen to when you anticipate any of your triggers being present. Do not use just any program however. Do your research first and then choose the right one for you. Using Relaxation Techniques Sometimes when our minds become over stimulated due to fear and anxiety it can be helpful to use relaxation techniques to bring your anxiety level down to a manageable range. Try counting, deep breathing exercises and self talk. Self talk is basically giving throwing a pep rally for yourself! Use positive language such as “I can do this” or “this will pass if I just keep my eyes on the prize”. You can also talk yourself through the details of what you are doing and where you are going. The trick to all relaxation techniques is to refocus your mind of something else other than your anxiety until it hopefully disappears. Therapy If your anxiety has become too much for you to handle alone then it may be time to see a therapist. The most common type of therapy used for curing fears and anxieties of all kinds is cognitive behavioral therapy. CBT can help you retrain your thoughts and beliefs and get to the root of the issue. Once the cause of your anxiety if found the therapist can work with you to retrain and refocus your behaviors and negative thinking. Group therapy can also be wonderful for someone dealing with driving anxieties! Just sharing your feeling with others who are going through similar things can be highly cathartic and give you the courage to move forward to overcome your anxiety. Rules for the Road While this information can help put you on the road to success (Pun INTENDED) they may not be enough to totally cure your driving anxieties and you still may be subject to having driving anxiety to the point of going into full panic mode. If a panic attack occurs while you are driving you must take special care not to hurt yourself or others. If you have ever had a panic attack then you will know when one is about to hit. If you can get off the road before it happens then all the better! If you cannot then you must do whatever you can safely do to get the car in park. ØPull over in the first safe place you can find. ØTurn off the engine and practice your breathing. ØGet out and walk around if it is a safe place to do so. If not then recline your seat and lay there will the attack washes over you and finally leaves. ØTake your anti-anxiety meds if that is applicable to you. ØCall someone if you need more help even if that means dialing 911. Driving anxiety is no joke and if you suffer from it you are just one a great many who do so rest assured that you are not the odd man (or woman) out. Take this information and these tips into consideration if you are looking for ways out of the anxiety circle. If you need help do not be afraid to ask for it. By admitting the problem and searching for a way to fix it you are taking the first – and biggest steps on the road to recovery.