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WHAT IS ANXIETY? To understand anxiety, let’s look at fear first. Fear is a protective mechanism and an appropriate reaction to a real danger. Anxiety is a reaction to a perceived danger or threat and becomes a problem when magnified out of proportion. Some of the symptoms that may be experienced with excessive anxiety are: panic and fear sleep problems obsessive thoughts heart palpitations compulsive behaviors sweating ANXIETY IS TAKING OVER YOUR LIFE When anxiety is taking over your life you feel overwhelmed, helpless and out of control. Worrying takes up more and more of your time and energy. You know that some of your thoughts and behaviors are unreasonable, but can't stop them. Anxiety shows itself in many ways. You may have panic attacks, phobias, obsessive thoughts or compulsive behaviors. Loneliness and isolation are becoming your frequent companions. It's hard to explain and often embarrassing to tell your family and friends what you're going through and hard for them to understand. This is not the life you want to live. YOU WONDER WHY YOU ARE SO ANXIOUS You wonder, "Why me? Why can't I stop this?". Self-blame comes in..... You need to know that you are not the only one. One out of six people experience significant symptoms of anxiety at some point in their lives. There are several factors that can cause or increase anxiety. YOU WONDER WHERE THE ANXIETY COMES FROM There is a strong biological component to anxiety. Often, when there is a parent who is worrying excessively about their child being anxious, that parent probably has a history of being “a worrier” too. And if you go back another generation, one of those grandparents very likely had some “worries of their own”. In addition to the biological sensitivity to anxiety, the environment that the child grows up in is a contributing factor to the anxiety. When a parent is anxious, the child will absorb some of this anxiety, increasing his own. Other stressors and traumas that one has experienced over time will contribute to the increasing anxiety. HOW YOU HANDLE IT Anxiety may be new to you, or you may have struggled with anxiety for a long time, maybe your entire life. You try to handle it the best way you can. Sometimes you avoid the situation or the people you are feeling uncomfortable with. You try to live with it, live around it, sometimes just suffering through it. Your fears take over, you keep obsessing. You try not to worry, you know you shouldn't worry so much, but you can't seem to stop. You've tried different ways to lessen your anxieties and decrease your stress and maybe even tried some therapies to cope with it, but with only some success. WHAT NOW? You're frustrated and wondering if there is a way out. Is there really anything that can make a difference?.... The answer is yes. Even if you have a biological predisposition to anxiety, have anxiety in your family, or have experienced trauma in your life, you can recover from this. There is help for anxiety. There are different strategies and therapies that do help.... These are several of the unique and powerful therapies that I have found to be most effective in my work in helping to reduce anxiety: Percussive Suggestion Technique (PSTEC) Meridian Tapping Therapies / EFT SandPlay Therapy Heart Rate Variability Therapy For more information about these therapies and additional articles on anxiety, please visit my website at CounselingbytheShore.com. Give yourself the chance to live the life that you really want to live. I specialize in working with parent and children experiencing anxiety. My goal isto help you to decrease your anxiety and that of your child. I use innovative andcreative therapies that will help to resolve distressing feelings either of you areexperiencing. If you have any questions about this article or would like to discussany concerns that you have, please feel free to contact me at the phone number oremail address below. Elaine M. Corona, MSW, LCSWCounseling by the Shore, LLC509 Main Street- Suite 2Avon-by-the-Sea, NJ 07717(732) 233-9026 CounselingbytheShore@gmail.comCounselingbytheShore.com©

By Debra Bacon Theravive.com Contributor Relationships, hormones and pressures Teenage years are challenging for the teen and parents. Maintaining an open and communicative relationship with your teen is vital as they move through adolescence. Hormonal changes, mood swings and peer pressure are a part of the growth process, however, it is important to be aware of subtle, and overt signs that trouble may be on the horizon. While some unusual behavior is normal with teens, knowing your teen--how they generally react and interact with you--will help in identifying potential problems. Red Flags Following are signs to watch for that may indicate your teen is headed down the wrong path. Isolation: During adolescence, a teenager typically distances themselves a bit more than before from family. Yet, if your teen is avoiding your advances toward conversation and interaction, there may be a problem. If they spend more time away from home or alone, locked in their room, a red flag should go up. This can be an indication of drug use or depression. Sudden weight loss and/or appetite change: This behavior is indicative of peer and social pressures to look a certain way. An eating disorder, depression or drug use can be at the root of this conduct. Extreme mood swings: Mood swings are a common thing with teens. Therefore, it is a bit more difficult to discern what is problematic and what is normal. However, knowing your teens normal reactions will assist you follow up accordingly. This behavior could be a sign of social problems; hanging out with the wrong crowd. Meet your teen’s friends and their parents. Know who they are spending their time with and what values their parents hold dear. Declining grades or lack of interest in school/activities: Since teens have so much on their minds, at times, a lack of interest in school work could be chalked up as normal. However, if their grades are falling sharply, they are cutting classes and pulling out of activities once enjoyed, it is time to check-in. Get to know your teen’s teachers and find a way of communicating with them on a regular basis. Be involved in your adolescence education and school activities. Motivation issues: If your once spunky teen suddenly begins to seem more tired, and uninterested in hobbies and former friends, they could have a problem with substance abuse. They could be depressed or feeling isolated and alone. Talk with them, let them know you care. Be available to listen, love and offer advice, if needed. Get Involved If your teen is showing signs of unusual behavior, it is the parents’ responsibility to get to the bottom of what is going on. A child wants to know you are concerned and interested, even if they do not act like it. It may feel like to you that you are spying on them or invading their privacy when checking up on them. Press forward, as it could mean the difference between life and death.

By Debra Bacon Theravive.com Contributor Bullying: a new epidemic? Bullying is becoming an epidemic in our schools, cyberspace, parks and other areas where kids hang out. Its affect on children can be lasting, even following them into adulthood. It is vital to deal with bullying swiftly and lovingly. The times of a simple trip in the isle, just for the fun of it, between friends has passed. Today children are faced with far more intimidating tactics. Often, kids are attacked while others look on, without going for, or helping the victim. Children are often afraid to say anything to anyone for fear of retaliation. Know the signs Identifying the signs of bullying is a key element in protecting your child, and keeping them safe. Your child’s behavior will offer tell-tale signs bullying may be occurring. Following are a few things to watch for: Lack of appetite Decreased interest in school/social activities Few, if any close friends Trouble sleeping Stomach aches and other ailments Unexplained bruises, cuts or scrapes Missing or damaged personal items Anxiety Isolation How you can help If you notice you child manifesting any, or a number of these behaviors, it is time to talk--reach out with a kind, loving arm. Get as many details as you can about the bullying incidents. They may be reluctant to speak to you about the situation at first. Often this is because of misplaced blame or shame. It is important to reassure your child they are safe. Express how much you want to help them overcome this situation. They are likely not the only child being harassed by the bully. Talk with school officials, such as the counselor, principal or other significant policy makers about the danger your child is facing. Be persistent, and follow up. Ensure changes are made to eliminate the threat. Furthermore, depending on the type of abuse your child is being subject to, criminal charges may be in order. Talk to your child about how to handle the bullying. Encourage them to remain calm when confronted. Tell them to be firm when they speak to the aggressor. Offer suggestions of what they may say, such as: “Stop what you are doing right now.” Stress the importance of walking away. Never encourage aggression, or similar bad behavior. Encourage your child to make friends with people in his class. Children should walk in pairs or small non-threatening groups. Especially when going to the bathroom, lunch, playground and other potentially isolated areas. General rule of thumb Monitor your child’s activity. Such as, know who their friends are, and be involved as much as you can in their lives. Be careful of what you allow your children to watch on television and videos. Behavior breeds behavior, and violence can lead to violence. Computers are a way of life these days. As such, the newest form of bullying or threat can come from the internet. As much, if not more, as you would monitor what your children read and watch, the same should apply to the internet. Cyber bullying has lead to mental breakdowns, violent acts, sexual assaults, murder and suicide. Any type of bullying has this potential. If suppressed, an individual can move through life harboring a lot of resentment, guilt and shame. Knowing when to intervene and get professional help is paramount. It can eliminate or assist in treating more complicated mental conditions, such as anxiety disorders, resulting from bullying.