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Social Creatures We humans are social animals. Our minds and bodies are wired to socialize for good reason. As a species, we use our socialization to solve problems, find safety, and survive. Every now and then, of course, we need a break from the social pack, and to retreat to a more quiet state of solitude, but what happens when that solitude becomes isolation? Sometimes we feel alone, even in a crowded room. Sometimes we have no choice in the feelings, and other times, we enjoy being alone, and choose to separate ourselves from others. It may start with a change in our lives, like moving to a new area, or off to college. It could be that people have disappointed us, and we feel the need to protect ourselves from the feelings of pain associated with the loss of someone from whom we expected more, or that made us feel unwanted or unloved. Maybe we just feel socially inadequate, or ill at ease with others. Regardless of how it starts or what perpetuates isolation, it is important that we understand the relevance of being socially connected to others. We connect to others on different levels. For some, this connection can be a strong bond, and for others it may be small talk with strangers, but in all cases, we are increasing our ability to survive, as well as securing our human instinct. It is important that we human animals consider the reasons that socialization is built into our system. We need each other to survive, and problem solve. Dying To Be Social In 2006, researchers reviewed data gathered from over two decades and found that Americans were less and less connected socially.[1] The average network had decreased by about a third from 1985 to 2004. With the changes in technology from smart phones, and tablets, the average person is far less likely to engage in person to person contact as they were even in 2004. You can see this when you observe most restaurants and see families of people all engaged in their personal devices. Even in a family unit, we seem to be losing our socialization, and that is alarming considering how damaging isolation can be to individuals. A 2013 study found that social isolation is associated with a shortened life.[2] The study, led by Andrew Steptoe, followed 6500 men and women 52 and older, and measured the consequences of loneliness and isolation on health. While both can affect well-being, the researchers found that isolation, independent of loneliness, has 1.26-fold increase in death. One of the interesting things that this study highlights is that while we may feel lonely, any kind of social interaction, even as small as chit-chat with a stranger can help our health. It is not necessarily those strong bonds of close relationships. It also points out that even those who are content in their solitude need the contact of others to be healthy. Some of the reasons that may contribute to isolation’s effects on older adults are that there is no one to notice when they are declining, and they do not get the help they need, whether it be physically, or emotionally. Social Media Doesn’t Count Those who prefer to avoid the physical social contact may be tempted to use social networking as surrogate social contact, but that is not a good choice for those who like to be alone. Social networks may add to the problem of social isolation by creating negative feelings toward others. German research has found that social sites, specifically Facebook in this study, make people feel lonelier due to envy.[3] The reader of a social update may feel that others have more enjoyment in life, and have better social opportunities than themselves. Of the things that frustrated users in the study, 29.6 % felt envy, or social upward comparison. Another 10.4% felt loneliness, and 19.5% felt a lack of attention due to lack of comments, likes, and feedback. The areas in which envy was produced were travel and leisure, social interactions with others, love, family, and relationship success. Interestingly, this research was specific to passive users. For more about social media, read Therapy: A Connection with the Interconnected. How Does Therapy Help? Therapy can help determine the emotional and psychological reasons for the need to isolate, as well as give support and help to build a social support network. When we find it hard to make friends, or that social interactions are just too much for us, a therapist can offer tools that allow us to cope with the situation. If you find yourself feeling lonely, angry, or critical of others, or have no feelings of being part of a group there is someone who can not only listen, but equip you with the tools to help you out of feeling isolated. [1] McPherson, M., Smith-Lovin, L., & Brashears, M. E. (2006). Social isolation in america: Changes in core discussion networks over two decades. American Sociological Review, 71(3), 353-375. Retrieved from http://search.proquest.com/docview/218830661?accountid=3358 [2] Steptoe, A., Shankar, A., Demakakos, P., & Wardle, J. (2013). Social isolation, loneliness, and all-cause mortality in older men and women. Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences of the United States of America, 110(15), 5797. Retrieved from http://search.proquest.com/docview/1326426096?accountid=3358 [3] Krasnova, H., & Et al (2013). Envy on Facebook: A Hidden Threat to Users’ Life Satisfaction? Institute of Information System. Retrieved from http://warhol.wiwi.hu-berlin.de/~hkrasnova/Ongoing_Research_files/WI%202013%20Final%20Submission%20Krasnova.pdf

Students, parents, and professors are gearing up for the start of another academic year. And so should you. Therapists should pay special attention to the emotional and psychological stresses of academic life. Recent studies suggest that approximately half of American students experience depression.[1]Tragically, some become so depressed to the point of committing suicide, which is the second main cause of death for college and university students. In 2011, half of students at the University of Alberta claimed to have felt hopeless during the academic year. Seven percent of these Canadian students had considered committing suicide.[2] At the University of California Berkley, a survey showed that, in a typical academic year, almost half of their graduate students faced a mental health issue.[3] Moreover, about one in four students were not familiar with mental health support services provided by their university. The Millennial Generation To analyze some of the mental health issues present on college campuses, it is first beneficial to understand this generation of students. They are part of the Millennial Generation, which includes individuals born between the 1980s and early 2000s. As pointed out by Howe and Strauss, the Millennial Generation is characterized by high levels of education, ethnic diversity, an ambition to achieve, and an awareness of social and community issues.[4] While the above characteristics are positive, this generation has a difficult time accepting criticism and setbacks. Millennial students have been consistently praised for their successes throughout their lives – by family members, teachers, athletic coaches, extracurricular leaders, music teachers, etc. They have been told that they are embedded with talent and potential. In their eyes, the world is their oyster. Being a Millennial myself, I recall the numerous awards, honours, and distinctions that were poured upon my siblings, friends, and I during our grade-school years. It seemed that everything we did was seen as a cause for celebration. Our identities became wrapped up in award ceremonies, notices of distinction in our local newspaper, scholarships, and words of praise. Transitioning from High School to University This emotional support served as a double-edged sword once I first stepped onto my university campus. Suddenly, my cheerleaders and their blue and white pom-poms had vanished into thin air. There I was – all alone in a large university dorm miles away from home. I do not blame anyone for the challenges of my first academic year. However, I cannot deny that they were present. Broadly speaking, I struggled to balance two main areas: (1) the academic demands and (2) my social life. Academic Demands I was grateful to have received academic awards that helped finance my tuition fees. However, this blessing soon became a curse. To maintain my awards, I was required to maintain straight A’s throughout my four years of study, as well as become involved in extracurricular activities. This pressure pushed me to work hard and to learn a wealth of knowledge from brilliant professors. I also became active in a fascinating array of extracurricular activities. However, I eventually pushed myself to the point of feeling physically and emotionally unwell. My symptoms included stress, nausea, dizziness, depression, and a loss of appetite. But having been told that I was born to succeed, I ignored these symptoms and forced myself to work harder. Social Life Though this is not the case for all students, I largely ignored social pressures to party hard. Nevertheless, I slowly learned that I needed to expand my social life in order to be a successful student. In my third year of study, I began to shift some of the time that I spent overworking to spend more time with friends. Surprisingly, my grades went up that year, as well as my level of happiness. For the first time since high school, I felt less stressed and more fulfilled. A Healthy Balance All the advice I had received from student support services, as well as my university therapist, revolved around creating an ideal study schedule. The focus was on managing my time efficiently, so that I could accomplish my academic goals. However, the key to my success was increasing my level of happiness, not my level of organization. I already had a perfectly organized schedule – trust me, it was even colour-coded and divided up into different categories. The solution for me was to brighten up my social life. I am only one example of a Millennial student, and therapists should recognize that they cover a wide spectrum. But I wish my therapist had turned to me and said, “Darling, you don’t need to be the next Hillary Clinton. Why don’t you avoid the library this Friday night and go out with your friends?” [1] Facts About Depression. SMH Screening for Mental Health. [online] Available at: <http://www.mentalhealthscreening.org/info-and-facts/depression.aspx> [2] What’s behind the rising rates of depression among Canada’s college students? Career Options. [online] Available at: <http://www.careeroptionsmagazine.com/4475/what%E2%80%99s-behind-the-rising-rates-of-depression-among-canada%E2%80%99s-college-students/> [3] Facts About Depression. SMH Screening for Mental Health. [online] Available at: <http://www.mentalhealthscreening.org/info-and-facts/depression.aspx> [4] Howe, N. and Strauss, W. 2000. Millennials Rising: The Next Great Generation. New York: Random House.

Edgar Allan Poe pointed to an intriguing question: Does the highest form of human genius require a certain level of mental instability? The idea of a mad scientist, a mad artist, or a mad genius is not novel. William Blake’s poetry was made that much more alluring, that much more brilliant by his mental instability. Lord Tennyson’s mood swings unveil an internal struggle between the solipsistic artist and the outside world. Sylvia Plath, a brilliant American novelist, poet, and writer, suffered from profound depression, eventually culminating in her committing suicide at age 30. Mozart’s behavior was unpredictable, as he quickly shifted from moments of ecstatic euphoria to a pit of melancholic hopelessness. And Albert Einstein sought help from a therapist to deal with his depressive tendencies. So, is there a relationship between brilliance and mental health issues? Modern Findings Today, researchers have confirmed that several of the above suffered from either depression or manic-depressive illness. The former often produces melancholy, while the latter is frequently manifested in dramatic mood swings.[1] Being brilliant does not require mental instability, but modern findings have shown that a surprising number of geniuses do suffer from one of the above mental health illnesses, as outlined in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, commonly known as the DSM. Historiometric research indicates that highly creative individuals are twice as likely as the average person to suffer from a mental illness, often showing signs of depression, addictions, and suicidal tendencies.[2] Also, the more intelligent the individual, the more intense their symptoms can be. Studies have also shown that artists are more likely than scientists to suffer from a mental health illness. For instance, Swedish researchers at the Karolinska Institute confirmed that writers are almost twice as likely than the general population to commit suicide.[3] In addition, dancers and photographers are more prone to have bipolar disorder. Artists are also more likely to suffer from anorexia or autism. Psychiatric studies have shown that the relationship between mental health issues and genius is often inherited.[4] Again, this is especially the case for those with artistic talent. The Danger of Romanticizing Mental Health Issues Unfortunately, some have come to romanticize the relationship between brilliance and mental instability. But this can be a dangerous path to follow. As argued by Murphy, some elevate the status of geniuses merely because they suffer from a mental health illness. But mental illnesses can have dire effects and deserve to be treated seriously.[5] The notion that creative genius requires mental instability can lead certain artists to pursue unhealthy life choices. Samuel Taylor Coleridge, for example, believed that he could not produce works of poetic genius in a drug-free state. He sought a heightened sense of imagination through taking opium and eventually became an addict. From the Struggling Artist to Art Therapy Although the notion of the struggling, mentally unstable genius persists to this day, there is also an emerging movement of art therapists who are reclaiming the relationship between art and mental health. At Artbeat Studio in Winnipeg, Canada, for instance, a new program aims to bring about empowerment and recovery through the pursuit of individual creative expression.[6] Art does not need to produce melancholia, grief, and depression. As a society, we should seek to deepen our understanding of how the creative world can bring about freedom, insight, hope, and beauty. Though creative geniuses should not be naïve, they have the potential to find fulfillment in works that are uplifting and hopeful. Art can provide the opportunity for one to grow and reflect (here's a great article on The Art of Self-Reflection). In the documentary Why Beauty Matters, philosopher Roger Scruton explains that our modern culture of art often points to the grotesque and to the ugly, rather than to the insightful and the beautiful. Perhaps this is a symptom of society’s pessimistic obsession with depressing realities, including the notion that geniuses by definition need to experience a heightened sense of suffering. But the good news is that creative geniuses can find hope for themselves and for others, including through artistic endeavors. And mental health professionals should help them rediscover this brilliant pursuit – a pursuit that can foster a healthier environment for talented individuals and those who admire their life works. [1] Jamison, K.R. 2008. Manic-Depressive Illness and Creativity. What Makes A Genius? New York: Rosen Publishing Group. [2] Simonton, D.K. 2005. Are Genius and Madness Related? Contemporary Answers to an Ancient Question. Psychiatric Times. [online] Available at: < http://www.psychiatrictimes.com/articles/are-genius-and-madness-related-contemporary-answers-ancient-question> [3] Roberts, M. 17 October 2012. Creativity ‘closely entwined with mental illness.’ BBC News. [online] Available at: <http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-19959565> [4] Ibid. [5] Roberts, M. 17 October 2012. Creativity ‘closely entwined with mental illness.’ BBC News. [online] Available at: <http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-19959565>

Being discouraged can be as devastating as stopping you in your tracks or it can merely be a pothole in the journey of life. Its basis is the feeling that even if you give it your best shot you will not achieve your goals. If we don't stop it when it starts it will result in such negative attitudes and emotions that it will rob us of our productivity and self-confidence. It can have a negative impact on every aspect of our lives including our ability to love, remain healthy and continue feeling optimistic. "Discouragement is not the absence of adequacy but the absence of courage" wrote Neal A. Maxwell and this point should be well taken. Perfectly adequate people become discouraged. Which comes to the first way to deal with discouragement. Once you feel that way you should start to ask yourself what is making you feel defeated. This will give you a clue as to where this feeling is coming from and provide a more specific self-criticism to be analyzed. When looking at these specific causes one can then answer the smaller question of what it is that brought about this greater feeling of dismay. You may be able to examine what you have and haven't done or if there is something in particular that is preventing you from moving forward. It is also important to maintain a healthy perspective. Discouragement is a lot like throwing yourself down a well hole. The fact that you're stuck at the bottom of the well becomes a problem entirely into itself and has nothing to do with how thirsty you were when you fell in or how far you have gone without being able to nourish yourself. The fact that you have now landed in the place of discouragement means that you have to find a way out of that hole so that you can get back on task. This may be a time to reflect on the journey you have chosen. Have you become exhausted and need to re-energize? Is there something about the way you are approaching this problem that needs to be reevaluated? If it's just a question of taking longer than you expected that puts it into perspective of being impatient rather than discouraged. If it is the fact that you seem to overlook the progress you have made then perhaps you're looking too much into the future. The Chinese say that a long trip is accomplished by small steps. Thinking how much further you have to go can discourage you even though you have made progress. Discouragement can be looked at as a loss of faith in your plan to reach an objective. Re-examining that plan and its implementation are key to revitalizing your efforts. If anyone really knew how difficult it was to become a doctor we wouldn't have any new doctors. It is only the fact that that education is broken into smaller parts that we feel any chance of succeeding. Discouragement breeds inactivity. By becoming more active and refusing to give up you counteract the discouragement with a new sense of vitality. Sometimes it is nothing more than refusing to give up like a runner completing a marathon will refuse to walk. Other times it may be examining the progress you have made so that it instills in you sense that you may not have reached your goal that you have gone a certain distance towards it. It is important when facing discouragement that you break down the question of why you are discouraged into specific reasons. Then you can determine if these are unmet expectations, exhaustion or just feelings that you have let yourself down. Then by thinking of specific play what you have accomplished and what is left to accomplish gives you a sense that you are on the right road but just haven't completed the journey. When you feel discouragement it is important to start to re-examine your plan of reaching your objective. The more clearly you can find that plan the less its ambiguity leads you to discouragement. A clearly delineated plan with goals that are broken down into something attainable will prevent you from getting lost in the fog of discouragement. On a greater level your discouragement may be more connected to a sense of fulfillment or depression. Dealing with these issues are separate from obtaining a goal. Success comes to those who are neither afraid to fail nor discouraged by failure. In this case learning to turn passivity into activity is a key way of dispelling discouragement. Being able to say that this is a temporary obstacle and not the end of the road allows you to realize the impermanence of this feeling. Why is it that very optimistic people do not seem to be affected by discouragement? It is because they have learned a long time ago to keep moving towards that goal and keep it in the forefront of their minds so that when the road gets rocky and they start to stumble the only see the goal and not the path to it.

By Tanya Glover Theravive.com Contributor While many songs will impress upon us that the holidays are the most wonderful time of the year, this is not the case for some people. For some people, the holidays are a source of stress, sadness and overall depression. Getting though the holidays when you feel like this can be a difficult task, especially when it seems that everyone around you is happy and excited. What Causes Holiday Blues? There are many things that can make the holidays a sad time for a person. · Finances · Family death · Family being far away · Loneliness These are just a few reasons for holiday depression. Each person is different and has different reasons for feeling down during what is supposed to be the most festive time of the year. Spend, Spend, Spend For many, the major theme for the holidays is spending. When we have children this cannot be avoided. The little ones want Santa to bring them many things and they eagerly await Christmas morning and the presents they are expecting to find under the Christmas tree. This can be very hard for a family whose financial situation is bleak. For a parent, it is heartbreaking to know that you cannot afford to get your child presents for Christmas. Even if you can afford to get one or two gifts, it is still hard knowing that their friends will get much more then they will. Parents do not ever want their children to feel slighted by Santa, a figure who they are told love all of them equally. How to do you explain to a child why Santa only brought them a small toy and a sweater when the little boy down the road got a go-cart and a video game system? So, what can you do? While there is no perfect answer here, I have found one option to be effective. While you can still allow your child to believe in Santa you can also let them know that you work with Santa to get their presents. Only you know what you can afford to do and you can pass this onto your child by telling them that while Santa brings the toys they want for Christmas you have to pay Santa for them. By doing this you are able to sit down with your child and help them make a list of all they want, guiding them to what you can afford to do. Let them know that Santa cannot give them all the things on their list so they should pick out a few things that they really want to have and see what happens. By doing it like this, they understand that you have a part in Santa’s delivery and you have the chance to get those few items that they really want above all else. Loss of Loved Ones Ever since my grandparents passed away, the holidays have never been the same and are a source of sadness for me. I imagine that this is a factor for many people during the holidays. For those who have had a loved one pass right near the holiday it can be even worse. Just yesterday a little boy in my town was killed by a car while leaving the town Christmas Parade. Imagine how his parents feel and then know that the holiday season will always be a source of great pain for them from here on out. Loss is never easy and death does not discriminate. The holidays can be a painful reminder of these facts. After you lose someone important in your life, the holidays may never be the same again. There is little you can do about this. However, I was given some advice from a good friend on Thanksgiving of this year. She told me that things will always change and sadness over loss will always linger. However, it does not have to overtake the happiness of the season. Take the time to be thankful for those you do have in your life and make new holiday memories and traditions for your own children to cherish. While this may not have any effect on everyone, it did work on me. It helped me to realize that while I had fond memories of past holidays that I will never again experience, it was my duty to ensure that my children have them as well. This has helped me to put things in better perspective and allow me to feel a bit more lighthearted then I previously did. Far Away Family Another issue that many people deal with around the holidays is not being able to go home and be with family. With so many families being scattered around the country, it can be difficult to make it home for Christmas/Hanukkah. Not being able to be with loved ones during a season made for family can be depressing and lonely. With the economy what it is, travel is not always a possibility. It is even more experience than usual around the holidays. Knowing that your family is thinking of you is not always enough but there are other ways of being together on the holidays even if you cannot be in the same house. Technology is a great thing when it comes to communication. On Christmas morning you can place a Skype call to your family and have some face to face time. If nothing will make you happy except making it home, then starting a savings account at the start of the year can be very helpful in making travel possible. Put it in a Christmas club account to ensure that you cannot touch it until December. Help Those in Need of Holiday Cheer If you know how it feels to have the holiday blues it is a nice idea to reach out to others who are experiencing those same feelings of sadness. If you have a family to spend the holidays with and know someone who does not, invite them to join in the festivities with your family. Doing so would mean so much to someone who is sad and alone. If you are alone on the holidays, reach out to others that are alone as well. You can all have your own special day together. Talking about the reason for your sadness with people who understand it can be very helpful in lifting your spirits. Plus, by doing this you may have started a new holiday tradition! Though the holidays may be a source of pain, it does not have to be incurred alone. Feelings of sadness during the holiday season are very common and there are many who feel your pain and are willing to share their own with you. Reach out to your family and friend and even to strangers. You may be surprised at how much happier you can feel by unburdening yourself and finding a silver lining. Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah and Happy New Year to all of my readers. May this holiday pass with love and joy filling your hearts, memories of holidays past and the beginning of new traditions.

By Tanya Glover Theravive.com Contributor Into all lives a little ran must fall. And fall it does for everyone at one time or another. As emotional beings, we all get the occasional blues. This is a normal part of life. Maybe you have had a bad day or maybe you feel down for a reason we cannot quite put your finger on, but that does not qualify us for the diagnosis of depression. Depression is a deep feeling of sadness that does not go away on its own. This sadness affects all aspects our life; family life, social life, work life – everything. You may not want to take care of yourself, your family or your work responsibilities. It is more severe for some than it is for others. No matter how deep your problem with depression is, there are treatments available to help make your life better. Depression Symptoms: While not everyone who suffers from depression will have all of the symptoms, many have at least 2 or 3 of the most common ones. Also keep in mind that the signs and symptoms of depression vary from one person to another and that men, women and children may all show differing signs. This illness does not fit into a box but is rather in a broad spectrum. ØFatigue ØFeeling empty ØFeeling anxious ØFeeling sad ØPreoccupation with death or thoughts of suicide ØIrritability/restlessness ØNo appetite or increased appetite (Some people overeat when depressed and others cannot eat at all.) ØInsomnia ØFeeling helpless ØIrrational feelings of guilt ØFeeling worthless ØTrouble concentrating and focusing ØShort term memory problems ØLoss of interest in things that used to hold meaning (work, hobbies, sex) ØHeadaches, body aches, stomach issues (Emotional issues can manifest into physical problems for some people.) Another factor in depression is that the person may have other conditions which have brought on depression that did not exist before or that have enhanced depression that already existed. For instance, if a person with an otherwise happy life finds out that they have HIV/AIDS then this would be an illness that may bring on depression. Someone already suffers from depression may find it getting worse once they are diagnosed with an anxiety disorder. Often times, someone who has a substance abuse problem also suffers from depression as well. The good news is that once treatment for depression begins, it can help with the other illnesses that go along with the depression. Anyone, of any age/race/culture/gender, can suffer from depression. Many people do not realize that young children can become depressed in the same ways that adults can. There are many things in a child’s life that can become major stressors and cause them to feel depressed. This should be taken very seriously as children who develop depression are at high risk for also developing anxiety disorders and other issues that can affect them throughout their entire lives. And though anyone can become depressed, studies show that more women have depression then do men. This may be due to the fact that women are more emotional creatures or that men simply do not report their depression as much as women do. Many emotional issues in men do not get reported as they are much less likely to seek help then are women. What Caused Depression There are many reasons that people become depressed. There is clinical depression and situational depression. Clinical depression comes from chemical imbalances in our brains. Situational depression is directly connected to some event in our lives that makes us depressed. ØDeath of a loved one ØDivorce/separation ØJob loss ØFinancial issues ØStress in general ØAny other traumatic changes or events When it comes to situational depression, almost anything in one’s life can cause it depending on the person and the importance of the event in their lives. Clinical depression, caused by chemical imbalance, can be something that is passed on through genetics. Both can be treated. Treatment for Depression Even the most severe cases of depression are treatable and the first step in getting treatment is talking with your doctor. They will either be able to help you themselves or point you in the right direction to get the help you need. This is a very important step as your doctor will be able to figure out if your symptoms are being caused by an underlying medical condition that needs to be treated in order to rid you of the depression symptoms. If the depression is in fact, a legitimate mental health issue, you may be referred to a mental health specialist for proper treatment. This will depend on the reason for and the severity of the depression. The most common treatments for depression are medications and therapy. Psychotherapy There are many types of therapeutic techniques that are highly beneficial for people with depression. The most common techniques are Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and Interpersonal Therapy (IPT). It is the opinion of some therapist that both of these techniques can be used in conjunction in order to benefit the client to the fullest. CBT is used to show people how to change their negative way of behaving and thinking. Through this process, they are shown how they contribute to their own depression. By doing this, they can begin to learn how to change the things that need changing in order to rid themselves of depression. IPT is a technique used to help the client understand the reasons for their depression and work through them. This type of therapy pinpoints the reason for the depression and helps the client to see how the situation has either made or contributed to their depression. This is a good form of talk therapy that allows the client to explore their lives and see what can be changed to help with their depression. While both IPT and CBT are beneficial for people with depression, it may not be enough. Many times it is necessary to mix therapy with medication. Research has shown that when used in conjunction with therapy, medication can be beneficial in keeping the depression away for good. This is true even after therapy is terminated and the medication continues. You may need to stay on the medication for the long term after the therapy is over, but this has shown to be very successful in way of treating people with depression, especially severe cases. Medications Antidepressants are the most commonly used medications for depression. These drugs serve to change a person’s mood, even though researchers do not know exactly why or how they work. All they know for sure is that they keep the neurotransmitters in the brain at the correct place to even out and balance a person’s mood. While antidepressants are effective in most cases, there are side effects for some. (Some people have no negative side effects and some do. So it is important to monitor yourself when you first begin taking the medication. If one does not do well for you then your doctor can try something else.) Some of the most common side effects of antidepressants are: ØNausea ØVomiting ØHeadache ØCotton mouth ØSexual dysfunction ØInsomnia ØNervousness ØDrowsiness (moderate to severe) ØConstipation If any of these symptoms persist or bother you enough to where you simply stop taking the medication it is time to see your doctor. There are other drugs to try that may work better and you should never stop taking this sort of drug suddenly. Many of them require the patient to be weaned off as stopping altogether my make the depression return tenfold. The Light at the End of the Tunnel If you or a loved one suffers from depression and are doing so in silence, please know that you do not have to hoe this row alone. Depression is one of the most common illnesses in the world and the treatments are typically effective. There is no reason to feel ashamed of being depressed and needing help as you are not the first one, the last one or even one in a million who suffers from this illness. Billions have felt the cold fingers of depression and have found warmth and light through treatment and family support. One of these people can be you.

By Debra Bacon Theravive.com Contributor When a breakup occurs, picking up the pieces of our life can be a daunting task. It may seem impossible to imagine feeling “normal” again. The pain associated with a breakup can leave us feeling overwhelmed, confused, lonely and sad. No matter the cause of the breakup, it disrupts your life in ways that are unsettling. However, there are ways to grow and learn from the experience, as you process the loss. Overcoming loss A breakup--whether a long-term dating relationship, or divorce--wreaks havoc on your emotions. The void left in your life after calling it quits is not easy to fill. It is very important to take care of yourself during this time. After a relationship fails, feelings of intense grief, stress and regret over lost dreams and shared goals set in. Things are unfamiliar, and other relationships are affected. How to handle relationships with mutual friends and extended family members of whom you have become close too can be difficult and stressful to determine. You may even question you own identity. Depending on the length of time together, more often than not, you shared everything from activities, to dining and hanging out. You may begin to stress over questions like: How will you fill your time? What will it be like to be alone? Will you ever find someone else, or even want to? Don’t go it alone. Reach out to your family and close friends for support or join a support group. Bottling up your feelings will only heighten stress levels. Don’t be afraid to seek professional counseling. Allow feelings. The idea of allowing ourselves to feel the hurt in our heart and mind is almost unbearable. However, it is a necessary step in grieving. You may experience feeling of anger, resentment, sadness, relief, fear, and confusion. Recognize these feelings and realize where and why they are present. Work through it. Keep a journal. Writing down your feelings helps hash things out in your mind. Often it provides an outlet for frustration, or a place to record our future hopes and milestones. Be honest with yourself in your journa l. Don’t allow guilt to overcome you on the days you feel fine or you feel a renewed spirit within you. Relish them, there are more to come as healing progresses. Take things slowly. Give yourself a break. It is okay to feel differently than before. Rediscover your passions in life and slowly begin to venture out and act on them. Remember to take things one step at a time, one day at a time. Healing takes time, be kind to yourself, and remember you will move past the hurt. You can make it. Lessons learned From every crisis, an open door is before us, and a closed one behind. Take this time in between the two, to grow emotionally and spiritually. There will come a time when you will reflect on things you have learned from the experience. To completely reconcile yourself from the breakup and move on, it is important to understand what happened and what role each of you played in the relationship, and ultimate breakup. As you begin to heal and apply lessons learned from your decisions, you are likely not to make the same mistakes again.

By Debra Bacon Theravive.com Contributor Time becomes our taskmaster Living in a society where our time is invaded at every turn, whether from cell phones, faxes, computers, skype, IMs, text, or other signals crossing our sphere, burnout is a real concern. Burnout occurs when what you are doing, just doesn’t work for you anymore. Your once enthusiastic approach to a task now drains you, or feelings of apathy are more the norm, rather than hope and success. When juggling work, family and social lives, time can become our taskmaster instead of our friend. Finding balance in your life will liberate you, and allow you to overcome burnout. Signs of burnout Often, when burnout, people drive themselves harder to makeup for deficits emotionally, physical or otherwise. Denial that a problem exists is common; therefore, identifying signs of burnout is important to our emotional and physical health. Five signs of burnout: Irritability When a person feels out of control or unable to mange their life, work or family commitments as desired, they can become troubled. Often this is manifested in the form or irritation or aggravation. When burnout occurs, this state is more constant. You may lash out at co-workers or loved ones. Trouble sleeping Being stressed out and have multiple deadlines or unfinished business, can make it difficult to fall asleep or stay asleep. Sleep deprivation will cause you to perform poorly. Lack of energy As burnout creeps in, your energy level drops. A lack of caring or concern sets in, and productivity goes down the drain. Concentration issues Problems concentrating are common with burnout. When faced with overwhelming schedules and tasks, concentrating can be difficult. Emotional distress When someone is burnout, being overly emotional is common. For example, you may burst into tears over a seemingly minor incident. On the other hand, you can begin to isolate yourself, and show no emotion to varying circumstances. Either can lead to depression. Overcoming burnout Identifying burnout is only part of the solution. Overcoming burnout takes commitment and work on your part. Below are some practical solutions you can implement in your life to eliminate burnout, and enrich your life. Five steps to balance: Learn to say NO Over commitment is common, and a part of the reason people burnout. While it is important to please the boss, assess your current workload before saying yes to the next deadline. Perhaps you should allow someone else to drive the soccer team to and from games, or provide the snacks. Get moving Putting exercise in your schedule can make a world of difference. Exercise helps eliminate stress, clears the mind and keeps the body fit. Prioritize Assess what you are responsible for presently, and make a list. Evaluate and eliminate. Complete outstanding items that are most important or pressing, and delegate less important tasks to others as appropriate. Get support A healthy, happy life includes people we enjoy being around; those that bring joy and positive support to our lives. Identify the people that make up your support system. Others are in our lives to help us, co-workers, family, friends, clergy and counselors. Let go Learn to let go of things you cannot control. You cannot save the world. Let go of any guilt you may feel about not being able to do it all.

By Debra Bacon Theravive.com Contributor Relationships, hormones and pressures Teenage years are challenging for the teen and parents. Maintaining an open and communicative relationship with your teen is vital as they move through adolescence. Hormonal changes, mood swings and peer pressure are a part of the growth process, however, it is important to be aware of subtle, and overt signs that trouble may be on the horizon. While some unusual behavior is normal with teens, knowing your teen--how they generally react and interact with you--will help in identifying potential problems. Red Flags Following are signs to watch for that may indicate your teen is headed down the wrong path. Isolation: During adolescence, a teenager typically distances themselves a bit more than before from family. Yet, if your teen is avoiding your advances toward conversation and interaction, there may be a problem. If they spend more time away from home or alone, locked in their room, a red flag should go up. This can be an indication of drug use or depression. Sudden weight loss and/or appetite change: This behavior is indicative of peer and social pressures to look a certain way. An eating disorder, depression or drug use can be at the root of this conduct. Extreme mood swings: Mood swings are a common thing with teens. Therefore, it is a bit more difficult to discern what is problematic and what is normal. However, knowing your teens normal reactions will assist you follow up accordingly. This behavior could be a sign of social problems; hanging out with the wrong crowd. Meet your teen’s friends and their parents. Know who they are spending their time with and what values their parents hold dear. Declining grades or lack of interest in school/activities: Since teens have so much on their minds, at times, a lack of interest in school work could be chalked up as normal. However, if their grades are falling sharply, they are cutting classes and pulling out of activities once enjoyed, it is time to check-in. Get to know your teen’s teachers and find a way of communicating with them on a regular basis. Be involved in your adolescence education and school activities. Motivation issues: If your once spunky teen suddenly begins to seem more tired, and uninterested in hobbies and former friends, they could have a problem with substance abuse. They could be depressed or feeling isolated and alone. Talk with them, let them know you care. Be available to listen, love and offer advice, if needed. Get Involved If your teen is showing signs of unusual behavior, it is the parents’ responsibility to get to the bottom of what is going on. A child wants to know you are concerned and interested, even if they do not act like it. It may feel like to you that you are spying on them or invading their privacy when checking up on them. Press forward, as it could mean the difference between life and death.

By Debra Bacon Theravive.com Contributor Bullying: a new epidemic? Bullying is becoming an epidemic in our schools, cyberspace, parks and other areas where kids hang out. Its affect on children can be lasting, even following them into adulthood. It is vital to deal with bullying swiftly and lovingly. The times of a simple trip in the isle, just for the fun of it, between friends has passed. Today children are faced with far more intimidating tactics. Often, kids are attacked while others look on, without going for, or helping the victim. Children are often afraid to say anything to anyone for fear of retaliation. Know the signs Identifying the signs of bullying is a key element in protecting your child, and keeping them safe. Your child’s behavior will offer tell-tale signs bullying may be occurring. Following are a few things to watch for: Lack of appetite Decreased interest in school/social activities Few, if any close friends Trouble sleeping Stomach aches and other ailments Unexplained bruises, cuts or scrapes Missing or damaged personal items Anxiety Isolation How you can help If you notice you child manifesting any, or a number of these behaviors, it is time to talk--reach out with a kind, loving arm. Get as many details as you can about the bullying incidents. They may be reluctant to speak to you about the situation at first. Often this is because of misplaced blame or shame. It is important to reassure your child they are safe. Express how much you want to help them overcome this situation. They are likely not the only child being harassed by the bully. Talk with school officials, such as the counselor, principal or other significant policy makers about the danger your child is facing. Be persistent, and follow up. Ensure changes are made to eliminate the threat. Furthermore, depending on the type of abuse your child is being subject to, criminal charges may be in order. Talk to your child about how to handle the bullying. Encourage them to remain calm when confronted. Tell them to be firm when they speak to the aggressor. Offer suggestions of what they may say, such as: “Stop what you are doing right now.” Stress the importance of walking away. Never encourage aggression, or similar bad behavior. Encourage your child to make friends with people in his class. Children should walk in pairs or small non-threatening groups. Especially when going to the bathroom, lunch, playground and other potentially isolated areas. General rule of thumb Monitor your child’s activity. Such as, know who their friends are, and be involved as much as you can in their lives. Be careful of what you allow your children to watch on television and videos. Behavior breeds behavior, and violence can lead to violence. Computers are a way of life these days. As such, the newest form of bullying or threat can come from the internet. As much, if not more, as you would monitor what your children read and watch, the same should apply to the internet. Cyber bullying has lead to mental breakdowns, violent acts, sexual assaults, murder and suicide. Any type of bullying has this potential. If suppressed, an individual can move through life harboring a lot of resentment, guilt and shame. Knowing when to intervene and get professional help is paramount. It can eliminate or assist in treating more complicated mental conditions, such as anxiety disorders, resulting from bullying.