Theravive Home

You probably have heard that laughing is good for your health...but just how good is it? You may be surprised. [More]

All of us go through lifestyle and health changes, some of them we choose, some we don't. But which ones can cause mental health symptoms? Here are seven, and we should all watch out for them. [More]

Do you have difficulty finding the positives in life? I've talked to plenty of clients who will come in and admit that it's not always comfortable for them to reflect on their own achievements. This happens when we find ourselves dwelling on the negatives of life as we go through our days... [More]

A full one third of your entire adult life...or more...is spent at work. If you hate your job, that spells unending misery. Career change is not only possible, but do-able! Here are some things to consider. [More]

Though we don't typically associate the two, sadness and joy are more closely linked than you might think. Have you ever been in a situation where you feel mildly or even severely depressed, but then feel better after letting it out? The venting of melancholic emotions does just that: it lets everything out. That is why activities that may elicit a strong, emotional reaction (such as a sad movie) can actually bring us to a more positive mood at the end. [More]

Are you a perfectionist? It's one thing to get it right, but focus too much and things can wind up wrong. Here are some effects of perfectionism you may not realize. [More]

Many of us plan vacations to get away from our busy schedules. Arlene Uhi’s text, The Complete Idiots Guide to Beating Stress, suggests that much of the stress we experience is often connected to our daily routines (i.e. commute, commitments, and concerns) (Uhi 2006). According to a recent 2009 study completed by Joudrey and Wallace, active leisure pursuits (such as taking a vacation) helped reduce job related stress among a sample of 900 participants (Whitbourne 2010). Beyond the individual benefits, taking a vacation can also help increase family bonding, communication, and solidarity.A vacation can (Uhi 2006): Slow down our frantic routine Temporarily relieve us from our chores Provide space and time to reflect Provide space to recondition negative habits Teach us new stress-beating skills that we can adapt to our daily life. The author suggests that you choose a getaway that will instill calmness and relaxation. Taking a break from routine can help decrease hormone activity related to stress and hyperarousal. Give yourself an opportunity to escape from your daily rituals and experience something new. Any new activity that breaks away from your comfort will likely lead to increased satisfaction and joy. Activities you may want to consider: Pampering Spas Receiving a massage Enter a whirlpool or hot spring Mud bath treatment Getting a Facial Yoga Vacations Learn and practice Yoga Enjoy peaceful surroundings Meet a diverse group of individuals Active Adventures Bicycling Tours Camping Golf or Tennis Camps Multisport tours Walking Tours Beach or Patio Vacations References: Uhl, A. (2006). The complete idiot's guide to beating stress. New York, N.Y: Alpha Books. Whitbourne, Susan (2010). The importance of vacations to our physical and mental health. Psychology Today: Sussex Publishers Counselling Services for York Region

Part of the traditional marriage vows indicate a partner's willingness to remain together in sickness and in health. So, could getting married to remain healthy as good of a reason to tie the knot as love? Many researchers over the years have reported that marriage is good for your health and that healthy married people are less likely to die at the same rate as unmarried people. More recent research agreed that marriage is, in fact, a positive move, up until the point that a person's health begins declining. A 20-year study showed healthy, unmarried people were about 75 percent more likely to have died than married people. So, what does that really mean? At a glance, it seems that marriage encourages people to be healthy due to having a purpose in life; that purpose being that they are depended upon in a relationship by their partner. It makes you wonder if love fades, then, at the same rate as health fades. Some people think that married people are less likely to report having failing health than singles are. On many occasions, it seems that by the time a married person reports their health problems, they may already be very close to the end of their life. Let's look at all of this in another way. Obviously, those who are in a good, positive marriage will most likely be in better health, if only due to being happy without much drama or stress in their lives. So, that being said, it makes you wonder if men and women show the same health-related advantages as a result of being married. For men, it appears that the happier their marriage, the higher their survival rate. For example, married men who had to undergo heart surgery were more than twice as likely than unmarried men to be alive 10 to 15 years later. For women, the status of their marriage is even more important. Women who are very satisfied with their marriages increase their survival rate almost four times of that of their unmarried counterparts. It seems that there really is a connection between love and happiness. Married people are likely to be happy with life compared to those who are single, living together, separated, divorced, or widowed. Also worth noting, a good marriage is better for your quality of life than a high-paying job. Married people are less depressed and having fewer mental issues than singles as well. This is likely because of trust in the marriage and the ability to talk about things with your spouse, knowing you will not be judged. There are studies that show mental health increases substantially for marrieds and deteriorates substantially for divorcees or those who are separated. More statistics indicate that marrieds also have lower blood pressure, lower stress levels, and better immune systems. Obviously, there are other things about marriage to consider. Marriage will not sustain itself. It takes a lot of work and commitment to maintain a wonderful, happy relationship. No marriage goes from start to finish without problems along the way. If you are having problems, such as arguing, not talking at all, or you or your spouse are experiencing low self-esteem, you should seek professional help. In order to maintain a healthy, lovely marriage, it is important to go back to the basics. No doubt you have heard or read all of these things many times before, but it bears repeating that all of these things are the basics for living in a healthy marriage. Communicate - For any relationship, including marriage, communication is the key to healthy relationships. Poor communication leads to misunderstandings, hurt feelings, and other problems. Be Positive - Negativity weakens a marriage and will eventually damage it if you are not careful. Have Sex - Sex is a vital part of a healthy marriage. Remember to hug, kiss, hold hands, and talk. It isn't hard to fall into the cycle of feeling more like roommates than husband and wife. Understanding and Respect - Understand the way your spouse likes to be loved. Respect your spouse, and show you appreciate your spouse by staying thank you often. Show appreciation to your spouse as often as possible. Quality Time - Make it a priority to spend time together as a couple in love. This is especially important once children enter your world. If you have to, schedule time for a date on your calendars and take turns choosing where you will go or what you will do on your date. Do this at least once a month; once a week is preferable. Get Help when Needed - The most important piece of advice is this: Realize that there are trying times in any marriage, and accept the fact that there may be times when you and your spouse need to seek professional help to get you through a crossroads. People change, situations change, and relationships change. What you do not want to happen is to turn into a couple who share a space with no emotional attachment. The most important consideration is the quality of your marriage. Many different researches have concluded that a happy marriage can add a number of years to your life. Marriage is an important factor to think about, all while making sure to treat your spouse with respect. So, any way you look at it, a strong marriage really is something worth working for. If you are having issues in your marriage that you cannot seem to work through on your own, as a couple, it is time to seek professional help. Let the trained counselors at the Orange County Relationship Center help you through the rough times so you can maintain a positive relationship with your spouse. Call us today at 949-220-3211, or schedule an appointment online.

The origins of Thanksgiving have nothing to do with a bunch of Indians and pilgrims sitting down for a bountiful feast of turkey. In reality although the settlers with pale faces had been bothering the Indians in addition to giving them many new diseases they had never had were starving by this time. The Indians took pity on them and brought them some corn and fish. Thanksgiving has a lot of emotional disappointment and this article will show you how to deal with this. This is a period of time in which you are expected to give to others and be generous. Although the intention is good it often leads to self sacrifice and disappointment. This is a period of time in which you must balance your newfound humanitarianism with the demands on your own life. If you do not continue to reach your own immediate goals either at work or at home you will find yourself being irritable and exhausted. Remember that an obligation to give to others does not mean that you have to sacrifice your own needs. You must remember to give yourself some time for your own physical and mental well-being. It is a time when we most often neglect the things we do to make ourselves happy and keep ourselves balanced like exercise, yoga, or other spiritual practices for your own physical and mental well-being This is a time to find some positive solutions to deal with your family members past resentments. Remember that when I family system gets back together it quickly returns to whatever difficulties encountered before. Even if you're the only person in the room aware of this it may help you from dealing with the fallacy that "now that we're all together we must be alright." This leads to the need to decide on your priorities and organize your time adequately. I this will counteract your feelings that you have not a planned enough for Thanksgiving. If you find additional time you can always volunteer to feed the poor would do random acts of kindness. You may also need to have planned out some unstructured inexpensive holiday activity because this holiday evokes a feeling of being served good food rather than organizing fun things to participate in. Spending some time thinking about this will save the day when you are reunited with your family and no one knows what to do. One of the major fallacies are that Thanksgiving will take away feelings of loneliness, sadness, fear, anger and frustration. This holiday is heavily advertised is a time in which everyone appreciates being together. The fallacy behind that becomes clear when you are reuniting with family members and you realize why you have become independent of them. You may find yourself being overwhelmed with anger or fear or worse yet feeling alone being surrounded by your family. The worst emotion that creeps up on this holiday is resentment. It is usually triggered by a previous bad relationship with a family member. Beware of grudges and slights you have suffered in the past and keep them from resurfacing. Thanksgiving is designed to encourage gluttony. This is not an open invitation to eat too much. Remember that most people with eating disorders simply want to have something to control in their lives and to avoid the resentment and self-hatred you will naturally feel after eating way past feeling hungry. This includes other over indulgences. You know by now what you need to keep a careful eye on so that you don't lose control and this may be an opportunity to set an example with other family members who still have raging addictions. You may want to have some contingency plans when they become abusively angry, drunk or chemically impaired. If it the end of the holiday feast you find yourself still feeling depressed or resentful remember what the Indians did. They didn't like these foreigners who is strange customs and behaviors showed such a resentment towards nature that it disrupted and destroyed the Indian culture. Yet they still took pity on these poor starving people and threw them a fish or two.

A good laugh and a long sleep are the best cures in the doctor's book. ~Irish Proverb How true! If we all practiced these two “cures”, we would likely improve our health and decrease our stress! In today’s day and age, too many people are not getting either of these important cures! Both are relatively easy to incorporate in to your day without needing to make any major lifestyle changes. Let’s take a more detailed look at each of these. Most Americans complain that they do not get enough sleep. Billions of dollars are spent each year on lost productivity and treatment for sleep-related problems. The recent research on sleep indicates that if you are not getting enough sleep, which for most people is 7 – 9 hours per night, you are at higher risk for high blood pressure, stroke, heart disease, mental impairment, depression and weight gain. When you are well rested the following results: you are more productive at home and work, you enjoy life more, you are more relaxed in your relationships and you are healthier. If you are not getting enough sleep, what would need to change in order for you to get more sleep? Many of us complain that we do not have time to sleep; but then, do you have the time or money to take care of any of the health issues listed earlier?? Is everything on our “to do” list really that important? Now let’s look at the second “cure” - laughter. Have you ever counted how many times you truly laugh in a day’s time? Laughter increases the level of endorphins and neurotransmitters in your system and reduces the level of stress hormones. Laughing can improve your immune system and provide a wonderful physical and emotional release. All that from simply laughing! Think of ways to increase the laughter in your day - gravitate towards those people who are upbeat and have a good sense of humor, read those email jokes that make you laugh, work towards seeing the humor in even the most difficult situations, watch a funny movie….be creative with how you increase your comic relief. What steps will you make to incorporate these 2 easy “cures” in to your day? The effort you put in to making these changes will more than repay you. It is a good investment in you, your family, and your business or career - and one that costs you nothing. References: Say Goodnight to Insomnia, Gregg Jacobs, MD; www.sleepdex.org; www.about.com. Leslie J. Hoy, MA, LPC is a Certified Cognitive Behavioral Therapist specializing in Depression, Anxiety, Sleep management, Couples Communication, Work-Life balance and Weight loss. She can be contacted at 210.379.4403 or leslie@hiperformance.net; www.leslie-lpc.com.