Great Couples Counseling in Orangetown, NY. Therapy to heal relationships.

It can take us a lifetime to learn to accept the person we have chosen to live with, but it could also take us the same time to try to change that person and not be successful. Couples Therapy can help us understand that even though we all have the potential to change, we cannot change the other. We can learn how to accept the other person, live together or decide not to, and explore what are our own contributions to the dilemmas that we present.

Dr. Joel Stukalin and Dr. Sara Mandelbaum are particularly sensitive to the needs of unmarried couples, such as conflicts regarding trust, fidelity, emotional-bonding, finances, future-planning, resistance to committment. We have specialized in couples work for 40 years and have been highly praised by clients as attuned psychologists who truly understand the problems and frustrations of couples living together. As child psychologists, we additionally help couples negotiate important issues with child-care concerns. Dr. Joel and Dr. Sara offer realistic models to improve empathic-communication and problem-resolution with minimum disruption. Meaningful change can start within 4 sessions.

I usually see each person separately for a while to determine what the dynamics are and what each person brings to the relationship that is their own issues that need resolution.I will then see them together and achieve better results.My style of working with couples has been effective if both are ready to look at their issues and improve communication.

My approach to couples therapy draws from both the Gottman Method and Imago Relationship Therapy. The Gottman Method helps us identify damaging patterns, improve communication, and rebuild trust and intimacy. Imago goes deeper, helping you and your partner understand how your individual histories are showing up in your relationship. Most couples are surprised to find their recurring fights aren't really about what they think they're about. When you can see that clearly, everything shifts. The goal isn't just to stop arguing. It's to actually feel close again.

Why do we seem to have the same arguments over and over again? How do I know if we are really supposed to be together? Are there things we could be doing to better support each other, to help each other grow and be our best selves? If we really love each other, why do we so often hurt each other? How do I know if this is real love, anyway? Relationships are hard. Even more than desire, they require effort and understanding to make them work. Often, even if two people really love each other, one or both may need help to maintain the right effort or understanding to keep the balance necessary for long-term success. Having outside, objective support can make all the difference.

Careers and children each place enormous stress on a couple’s ability to be together in an intimate and satisfying way. Every couple has different ways of dealing with the challenges, and counseling can provide the perspective and encouragement to re-create a shared vision for the future. For something as important as this, it is surprising how little training and preparation is provided; family therapy fills in the blanks, and resolves the confusion.

The first step is to do a free couple’s assessment. In this session we’ll get clear on what has been difficult for both of you and how have you have been feeling. We will look at what the most important things that you have not been getting from your relationship. Then we will determine what makes a relationship for you and what would potentially break up a relationship. In closing we will go over what does work about the relationship and I will teach you a method that will help a woman learn to speak to men and for men to know how to speak to a woman.

Relationship can bring great joy as well and great challenges. Many problems stem from difficulty communicating with your partner. I can assist you in finding the way to express yourself, as well as the capacity to listen; to find the appropriate boundaries that enable you to feel free while staying connected. Working through conflicts in relationships often not only preserves the relationship, but also empowers each individual to be more confident and open in their own life.

We know that even the healthiest relationships experience times where they feel lonely, and like their love has run its course. It is easy to let the stress of work, family and unexpected life events you affect you. Couples counseling gives couples the tools to improve communication, strengthen intimacy and deal with conflict. When you attend couples counseling with Transformation Counseling Services, we dig deep beneath the surface to uncover what has caused unhealthy communication. Our therapist specialize in working with all types of couples in every type of relationship. We work with LGBTQ+ couples as well as couples in non-traditional relationships. Please contact us for more info