Anger is a normal and primitive emotion in the majority of us until an expression turns into a destructive response that leads to further issues in relationships and work related environments. This might feel like involuntary behavior at the mercy of an unpredictable thought or worry – but, you have the ability to develop a sense of self control that makes you stronger than your antagonism.
Anger is defined as an emotional state that will vary in intensity. It can start out as a mild irritation and turn into full fledged rage. This is also accompanied by some physiological changes such as an increased heart rate and high blood pressure. In turn this anger sets your hormones, non-adrenaline and adrenaline off canter. Anger is the result of external and internal events and is often triggered by memories that have caused you to be the victim of extreme pain. Ultimately, anger is an adaptive response to threats which gives us the physical ability to defend ourselves when being attached. Lashing out at every person is extremely damaging and expressing hurt gives us the power to control this response.
When Anger Becomes Unhealthy
Some people use more of an unconscious ability to process their anger which is why they are unable to control the symptoms that arise during the response. Unexpressed anger leads to just as much trouble as overly expressed anger because it is a pathological expression. This feeling becomes unhealthy when you can no longer make sense of the situation and assume that it is a direct threat toward you and your worth. When you are in a position of vulnerability you'll do anything to get out of it and to change the feeling you express it in a violent or ineffective manner. It's unhealthy when the vulnerability turns into an attack that brings someone down with you, creating more pain and disconnect. By understanding that every person is in a position of vulnerability, hurt, insecure, stress and confused you will realize that you are not the only one dealing with the pain that comes with being human. Therapy can clear up these misinterpretations that you have so that you can go about expressing anger in a constructive manner.
Anger and External Relationships
If you possess anger repeatedly toward relationships, friends or family members it creates a distrust and lack of honesty in others. Other people may feel hesitant toward expressing themselves fully or doing things that make them happy because they feel that you might lash out at them at any minute. The other partner won't reveal information to you for the purpose of avoiding that anger. If you are constantly putting other people down and making cynical related comments then you haven't learned how to express your anger correctly and you are bound to worsen your current disposition. When you learn how to calm down and control your internal response you then have the tools needed to make sense of the circumstance as a whole.
How Therapy Can Help
Therapy is most effective in treating those who deal with anger regularly and are unsure as to why it is preventing them from finding happiness and synchrony with others. Counseling can help you by not just teaching you how to control the expression but open your subconscious mind and clear up any wounds in the past that have yet to heal. Studies show that the most common reason for explosive anger is due to a repeated underhand in conflicts. Regardless of how much effort you put into achievements you continued to breach the short end of the stick. A counselor will first recognize these events that led up to your current position. As they go through them you'll realize that there's a great deal of either disconnection or frustration built up inside of you that's keeping you from understanding current problems. How do you find clarity when all you know is a pattern of unjustifiable events? That's just it. You will learn that they were circumstantial. The good things, people and worthy arrangements in life come from moving away from unfair circumstances so that you can learn how to embrace those that are, in fact, worthy. By reacting toward a current stressor or person with a response that is the product of the past, you are failing to realize that you actually learned from these events. Because you gained awareness you may have also gained assumptions as the result of past occurrences. Learning how to respond in an experienced manner will only bring you closer toward relationships worth your care and vulnerability. Counseling helps you find this inner strength to better your connection toward others so that you can eventually recover from hurt and find a part of you that is able to not only control defenses but eliminate assumptions.
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