Family Conflict



Although it's normal to experience family conflict, it remains stressful when it is an ongoing problem. If you find that dealing with your emotions in regards to family rapport is challenging you, you can get help and learn how to resolve these issues to build communication and hold a deeper understanding of the problems within the household.

Family conflict occurs when there are strong opposing views. Arguments act up in the presence of a misunderstanding that soon leads to an inaccurate conclusion. Ongoing family conflict causes hurt and aggression, especially when there is a lack of communication. One of the most difficult things about maintaining a mutual understanding with parents, children and siblings is getting everyone to support a single conclusion. There won't always be similar compromises or viewpoints and that can separate family members, causing them to take sides. If there are strong power imbalances it can also be difficult to resolve a family consensus. Counseling aims toward all of these issues and studies the differences between each family member. It's the job of the therapist to look beneath the surface and identify what might be causing indifferences and leading to conflict.

Challenges Faced by Family Conflict

One of the biggest sources of conflict within a family is finances and income management. If there's one source of funds it can lead to control over spending and dominance in the relationship. Child discipline can also lead to a lack of consensus if there is one parent who acts as the disciplinarian or consoler. If one member of the family is rebelling or dealing with a problem, such as addiction, it's most difficult as it will soon affect everyone else in the household. Every imbalance has the power to build a barrier that isn't always addressed effectively. These problems and concerns can be repressed for years and cause relationships to worsen, leading to disconnection. Therapy aims toward identifying where the problem started. When the group begins to communicate about their own feelings and worries, the therapist can provide you with tools to build communication and learn how to smooth out disunion.

Family Conflicts and External Relationships

An internal family conflict has impact on outside relationships as we tend to be influenced heavily by feelings associated with our childhood. If we have dealt with family conflicts often it can take a toll on how we treat our loved ones or companions. If we've always experienced these family issues and it has led to distrust or chaos, it can influence how we open up and treat people we care about. Our nature and ability to love is formed within our home and if all that we know is dysfunction, it can reciprocate and show up in other areas of our lives. Let's assume that someone has an unhealthy relationship with their parents and siblings. They might act out by looking for validation in other areas of life. While there's not always a way to identify how a family issue has changed outside relationships, it can play a part in how we treat others. It also determines how our partner's behavior satisfies our own wants and needs.

Parents have their own idealized images. Their task is often reflected onto us and we also store it as an idealized image. This has the power to manipulate our self esteem, govern our future and determine our needs. The majority of people do not obtain everything that they would have benefitted from as a child and that lack of fulfillment can be stored within the psyche. As we hope to fall in love this imago can float to the surface and project itself in the relationship. The expectations and scripts that we become familiar with as a child might be the result of family conflict; they can be regressed and reflected on external relationships.

How Therapy Can Help

Family arguments are challenging when there are divergent personality types. Therapy helps by clearing up miscommunication and recognizing current patterns of behavior. It's common that roles have already been established within the family and the counselor will tune into these furthermore to understand the family's dynamics. Making the choice to attend therapy can help you as it will determine what the cause is of the current crisis and how the family can go about finding a resolution. The therapist teaches effective communication if misunderstandings are present. Often times there are previous events that have caused the current unresolved emotions. The counselor can help you by going through historical incidents and possibly addressing past events that may have caused conflict. Sessions can reach a satisfactory resolution once the family is aware of their own behavior and has an understanding of how their decisions affect the entire household. Once a new form of communication has been implemented the family can learn how to understand one another and push through disagreements instead of act out in a way that represses and worsens the issue.

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