MEET FERN:
Fern is a down-to-earth, client-centered counsellor that can bring new hope to you and new life to your relationships. If you're struggling with your marriage or relationship, Fern has the expertise that you are looking for. She listens with warmth, kindness and compassion, without any judgement or criticism.
Fern has extensive training in Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy and The Gottman Method and has great results working with couples online. She works with the most challenging cases including highly distressed couples, affairs & betrayals, anger issues, communication breakdowns and separation & divorce.
Fern also offers a free 30 minute consultation. You can call anytime or book online right now by clicking on this link: https://upbringings.clientsecure.me
MARRIAGE & COUPLES COUNSELLING:
Communication is probably the most common "presenting issue" for couples. Your partner misunderstands what you say, and then minor issues turn into arguments. You might avoid talking about certain topics, or hold back from saying how you really feel to prevent a problem. We all know that communication is at the heart of a good relationship, so why is it so hard? Couples counselling can help you both learn to communicate better.
Does it feel like you are repeating the same argument over and over again? Maybe your arguments are ending up in yelling matches where one of you walks away? All couples argue, but wouldn't it be nice to respect each other's differing opinions? Couples counselling will take you to the core issues underlying your disagreements.
Has the romance died? Do you feel like roommates rather than lovers? Does it feel like you have grown apart? You and your partner can be close again, rekindle the old flame and enjoy each other’s company.
Have you or your partner had an affair? Whether the affair is emotional or physical, the pain and shock of infidelity can cause major distress. You can recover and get the trust and closeness back.
All relationships experience highs and lows, good times and bad times. We are all human and we all long for closeness and connection. Do you remember how connected and in love you felt during the early days of your relationship? This feeling is what I describe as attachment - the emotional bond between two people. It lets us feel safe and secure in our relationship. When there is conflict, our need for connection gets buried under self-protective emotions, like anger, hurt, disappointment, jealousy or coldness.
We all have instinctive ways of reacting...coping strategies. They are behaviors that we learned in our early relationships, or our family of origin. Some people become overly critical or demanding, while others will withdraw or go silent to avoid further conflict. While you were growing up, these strategies helped you fit in with your family's dynamics, but now they are holding you back from the love and security that you long for.
In Stage 1, we will look at the coping strategies and behaviors that you and your partner use. Recognizing and understanding the patterns in your relationship and your underlying emotions helps you to identify the roadblocks that keep you stuck and disconnected from each other.
As we work together, you'll begin to notice that this pattern of behavior -and not each other- is creating the conflict, you'll be much more hopeful and willing to work together towards solutions.
In Stage 2 we will work to create new ways to communicate in the here-and-now instead of repeating the same problems over and over. You'll begin to feel closer, safer and more secure. We build on the connection we established in Stage 1, so that you can express your feelings and have your partner respond instead of react.
In Stage 3, we will strengthen the relationship by working through any other unresolved issues. We explore new ways to connect on both a physical and emotional level. We will review your successes and make plans on how you will keep your love alive.
Let me help you get back the loving connection you once knew and get back to enjoying your relationship again. I have a map that clearly tells us how to get you there.
Give me a call or send me a text at 250-462-3477, click on the "send me a message" tab
Visit my website at www.upbringings.ca
Book your free 30 minute consultation right now! https://upbringings.clientsecure.me