Great Couples Counseling in Phelan, CA. Therapy to heal relationships.

Communication is the foundation of making a relationship work. I work with couples to learn how to effectively communicate with each other by teaching active listening skills and assertive communication. When we are able to feel validated, heard and seen by our partner, intimacy and connection grows. Conflict resolution comes easily when we feel safe to express our needs. I use a strength-based approach with the Prepare-Enrich evidenced based material.

Let me guess. One partner feels alone and like they don't matter and the other feels they are always being criticized and can't get anything right. The more one asks for the other to show up, the more the partner disappears physically and emotionally. You both bicker and fight and the idea of sitting and just hanging out seems elusive, if not impossible. Something like this? Often we crave connection but are blocked by the pain and the history that gets in the way. Small fights about little things become battles that highlight our struggle to have our basic relational needs met. I can help you get under the bickering to the parts crying out for connection- to an enriching relationship.

Without conflict, couples do not achieve intimacy. The challenge is helping you and your partner learn how to have healthy conflict that leads to intimacy, rather than destructive conflict that destroys the relationship. I specialize in working with affairs and broken trust, abgtneuro-diverse couples. I usually start with helping you learn ground rules for being able to have safe, constructive, healthy conflict to reduce and eliminate destructive relational patterns. I also use Emotion Focused Therapy (EFT) to help you reconnect, learn healthy communication skills, rekindle the flame that you once had, and start talking to each other again. If you are willing to work, I am here for you

Many of us can remember the frustrations, hurts, and joys experienced in a loving relationship. Often couples can become confused with the variety of emotions and complicated interpersonal interactions. A counselor can help a couple avoid the pitfalls that can destroy a relationship and help a couple to establish healthy bonding and boundaries within effective communication to enhance and maintain a healthy relationship. For those in an unhealthy relationship, counseling can help an individual understand their need for change, setting boundaries, and maintaining safety for themselves and for other family members.

Are you a Christian Couple struggling just to stay together? Does the day you said “I do” seem so far away and like a dream? Are you often sad and worried about your relationship and what’s going to happen? Have you or your spouse cheated? Are you tired of crying and being stressed out? Are you struggling with where God is in all of this? Sometimes the stress of life, parenting, or money can get in the way of being the best possible couple. I work with you to help restore the relationship from wherever it has been (cheating, poor communication, anger) and rebuild something better and healthier. I’m someone that shares your faith and can help you while respecting your values.

Discover how you can go from rejected to connected! Did you know the reactivity you experience is not your fault? (This is one of the main things that causes fights and arguments. It's when you feel out of control, & it leads to doing or saying things you regret, impulsivity, & leads to hurt & separation). I show couples how they can reduce the personal & relational reactivity they experience & increase feeling peaceful, calm, understood, validated, safe, accepted, & connected. I help couples discover their attachment strategies (how we feel safe & get our needs met). This is necessary in order to create lasting improvement, safety, trust, understanding, & connection, in your relationship.

Your primary relationship should be a "recharging station" to recover from the stresses of everyday life. When your relationship is the SOURCE of your stress, it can be an overwhelming problem. Oftentimes, the stress leads to angry outbursts, addictive behaviors, dishonesty, and even infidelity. The good news is, that if the partners are motivated, amazing progress can be made. Our first task is to reduce tension so communication and trust can be restored. I provide objectivity in a balanced atmosphere. And trust me, over the course of my career working with couples, I've heard everything - your problems are probably more common than you think. You CAN overcome them!

Many people can benefit from couples therapy sessions, even if their relationships do not have obvious problems. People often wait until very late in the game before seeking help, often times after one or both have already decided to end the relationship. Seeking the help of a psychologist can strengthen the behavioral and emotional bonds that keep couples together. Couples therapy changes the way that couples behave with each other. Sessions focus on improving interactions and building resilience. By focusing on the “Three C’s” of intimacy (closeness, communication, and commitment), partners learn how to achieve intimacy with their romantic partners rather than isolation

I provide couples counseling, marriage counseling, pre-marital and blended family couples counseling. I use Gottman principals and emotional focused therapy approaches in helping you build stronger connections, foster effective communication, and overall create lives built and aligned together. For those that would like Christian couples counseling we will integrate biblical principals alongside therapeutic interventions.

I see clients in relationships of all kinds. Whether you are in a poly relationship, you practice non-monogamy, or if you are in a traditional marriage, you are in the right place. I offer a non-judgmental space where we work as a team to improve communication, develop connection and understanding, and use real tools to better your relationship. I am more than a mediator-- I help each person communicate their true thoughts and true needs without conflict. Do you have intimacy issues and need sex therapy? I provide that service as well. Sex is part of every relationship and should always be a priority. Physical intimacy is vital and I can help you make improvements that stick over time.

Why do we seem to have the same arguments over and over again? How do I know if we are really supposed to be together? Are there things we could be doing to better support each other, to help each other grow and be our best selves? If we really love each other, why do we so often hurt each other? How do I know if this is real love, anyway? Relationships are hard. Even more than desire, they require effort and understanding to make them work. Often, even if two people really love each other, one or both may need help to maintain the right effort or understanding to keep the balance necessary for long-term success. Having outside, objective support can make all the difference.