Anger Management and Counseling in Orono, MN.

I'll help you understand the choices you have to manage and express your feelings in constructive ways. You'll become more aware, accepting, and assertive rather than reactive and misunderstood. Anger is a powerful emotion that needs to be expressed like any other emotion. Anger itself isn't bad - in fact, it's a useful signal that something's wrong and we need to take action. However, the way it's expressed can be either helpful or hurtful. Learn to center yourself and be proactive in expressing your anger in a way other people can hear.

We have a number of clinicians that specialize in dealing with anger issues whether it is with children, adolescents, or adults. Figuring out healthy ways to cope with feelings is key. Often clients need help dealing with other emotions and/or need help examining their expectations of themselves and others. Our clinicians are able to help get to the root of anger issues and help resolve those problems.

Do you often lose your temper with family, friends or strangers? Does it feel like rage sometimes “takes over”, leading to physically or emotionally hurting yourself or someone else? Do you always feel angry? All kinds of people struggle with anger: adolescents who feel “out of control,” parents who regret angry behavior toward their kids, former spouse abusers that never want to relapse, veterans with unresolved anger about deployment experiences, people with legal histories due to actions taken in anger. Together, we will work to identify your anger triggers, to provide tools to interrupt your triggers and to help you heal relationships that have been damaged as a result of your anger.

I prefer the term trigger management. Anger stems from frustration, hurt, annoyance and disappointment. We will work together to control your feelings and actions that may have been getting you in trouble at school, home, the community or at work. Recognizing your triggers can help use appropriate ways to reach goals and solve problems. You can overcome those outbursts and lead the life you desire.

It is interesting that often we find that anger issues stem from early childhood issues. It can come from previous times we felt we were not heard, we were hurt, had negative things happened or were generally in an environment where we were not given a chance to develop a way to deal with anger. The physiological qualities of anger can make it harder to manager. During anger our brain sends signals to our bodies, temporarily, that the situation is life-or-death, and our flight-or-flight mechanism kicks in.

I approach anger management as a basic emotional skill. Like all skills, it can be taught and with practice it can be effectively developed in a short time. Some of the specific techniques I may use in teaching anger management are: identifying early signs of anger, breathing exercises, thought stopping, avoiding triggers, and teaching healthy emotional expression of a full range of feelings. I also use a variety of other techniques from cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) and dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) to help my clients learn to effectively manage anger. Beyond the behavioral approach to managing anger I sometimes find it useful to explore the sources of the anger.

Anger doesn't have to rule your life. I recognize that people who struggle to manage their expression of anger are hurting. It doesn't feel good or empowering to lose control. I can help you take back the power anger has stolen from you and make the changes you are looking for. I believe that if you're coming to therapy you are ready for change. Let's work together to make it happen.

There's no shame in asking for help with anger management. What causes shame is the damage you cause others when your anger spills out onto them. In any healthy relationship, disagreements are to be expected. But decisions need to be discussed and negotiated, not forced or made on the sly. Anger management is about learning how to regulate negative emotions, ask directly for what we need, and tolerate the frustration and disappointment that come with being in relationship with others. If you are struggling to hold it together without blasting people you care about, you need help with anger management.

Anger is not a primary feeling. While it might feel like the only thing you're aware of in the moment, anger is actually a secondary feeling, or a composite of other feelings that get wrapped up and compounded into something familiar. I will help you break your anger down into its smaller parts, such as sadness, fear, embarrassment, and/or hurt. We will also identify your triggers, interrupt unhealthy patterns, and figure out the tools that work for you in the moment.

Many times I have discovered that unresolved anger can be a result of something that happened in younger years and needs to be worked through. By exploring underlying triggers on when the anger overflows, we can work on the issues that have never before been addressed and therefore never healed. EMDR can be a very effective tool to address the core issues and then with new coping skills for the client to implement, a new way to respond rather than react to situations is the result.

Learning how to control your anger can improve your relationships, self-esteem and reduce the amount of stress you feel. Anger is a sign that something has hurt you. It is important to deal with that hurt in an effective way. Anger in of itself is not a bad thing. It is what a person does with that anger that makes all of the difference. Anger management is good for your health and all of those around you. Learning how to use your anger effectively will have a great imact on all parts of your life.

Anger itself is not bad, but many of us have not learned how to handle it or channel it in healthy ways. I will work with you to identify the triggers that challenge you and help you come up with a plan of how to talk yourself into a calmer place. Then when you speak, you will feel confident that you are representing yourself in a clear, strong way.

People need to be aware of what happens in their bodies and how the body can signal anger before someone flies into a rage. Often people are irresponsible with their emotions because, they are unaware of what they are feeling. My guidance is used to learn about feelings and explore childhood trauma, neglect, and abuse that may be creating uncontrolled anger outbursts.