Great Couples Counseling in Montvale, NJ. Therapy to heal relationships.

It can take us a lifetime to learn to accept the person we have chosen to live with, but it could also take us the same time to try to change that person and not be successful. Couples Therapy can help us understand that even though we all have the potential to change, we cannot change the other. We can learn how to accept the other person, live together or decide not to, and explore what are our own contributions to the dilemmas that we present.

I only see couples, it is my passion! We look at the negative cycles fueled by communication, money, parenting & blended families, careers, health, and/or sex/intimacy. When was the last time you had an open conversation with your partner that wasn't hijacked by your negative relationship cycle? I am also an affair specialist and have worked with countless couples to sift through the incredible pain to see if there is anything left of the relationship to be salvaged (in most cases, there is). I have met many couples who come in as roommates & leave my practice experiencing intimacy & being a better team that can make agreements and be in sync. My common sense approach fosters accountability

What are the most common couples' issues? If you are thinking "communication, conflict, sex, money, child rearing" you are correct. However, most therapists will go after the symptom on each side of the couple fence thinking that the way to effective change is by getting each party to "work" on their respective "issue". Many times the parties dont agree but comply. Imagine if you could align the unconscious brains of a couple and stop the "working on your issues" part that has become so popular in therapy settings? Contact kevin@kevinflemingphd.com to learn how! Or call 877-606-6161 DR. FLEMING'S NEW RELATIONSHIP/COUPLES INTENSIVES www.kevinflemingphd.com/marriage-couples-retreats.php

It can be so easy to fall into patterns and, over time, find that you keep having the same issues or arguments within your relationship or marriage. That's where couples counseling can help. Talking out issues and problems in a judgement-free space with a neutral third party invested in your progress and growth can help you and your relationship move forward. My goal as couples therapist is to listen to you and give you the tools and techniques to help get your relationship back on track. When you're ready to stop having the same conversations and to move forward in your relationship or marriage, let's talk.

I work with many couples in my practice. I illustrate the negative cycles they get into, which is very important in calming volatile interactions, and understanding how each person triggers the other, which keeps their negative cycles in motion. We explore family histories and the messages, and coping skills they learned. I help couples to understand the emotions under their anger and frustration, and to begin to speak to their partner from this softer place. It is a process which can shift negative patterns, and create closeness. Whether there has been an affair, communication issues, a breach of trust, sexual intimacy issues, or something else, there can be a path back to each other.

It's important that you know that I don't take sides or engage in blaming either partner. I understand that you are in my office because you want help. I get to know the couple as individuals and as a couple. So in addition to meeting together, I would meet individually with both partners. We would come up with a treatment plan, including frequency of meeting and schedule, treatment goals, and what each person wants from the therapy. We might focus on identifying feelings, changing toxic communication patterns, and opening up communication.

I help you learn genuine communication expressing your needs while respecting and caring for your partner. These fulfilling communications lead to a better relationship and a better life. Drawing close in intimacy in a couple can be challenging. Being close to another person can result in buttons getting pushed in areas of the self that were never resolved. Despite the challenge, we deeply want to feel intimacy in life. Intimacy in relationship, while often challenging, is one of the greatest opportunities for growth. Caring, compassionate communication between partners opens each person to deeper feeling, connection, and expression. These capacities are crucial for a fulfilled life.

My approach to couples therapy draws from both the Gottman Method and Imago Relationship Therapy. The Gottman Method helps us identify damaging patterns, improve communication, and rebuild trust and intimacy. Imago goes deeper, helping you and your partner understand how your individual histories are showing up in your relationship. Most couples are surprised to find their recurring fights aren't really about what they think they're about. When you can see that clearly, everything shifts. The goal isn't just to stop arguing. It's to actually feel close again.

It wasn't always this way. There was a time you looked forward to being with each other. You both trusted and enjoyed each other's company. You felt understood and accepted for being yourself. In couple's counseling, Hal offers you the opportunity to find the hidden strengths in the heart and soul of your relationship. Hal has helped hundreds of couples to improve communication and increase trust. Hal is very well respected and experienced in couple's counseling. In addition, he is a published author and was invited to appear on David Letterman's Late Night television program. Hal's schedule is flexible and appointments are available on evenings and weekends. Call Hal at (516) 439-4282