Great Couples Counseling in Nutley, NJ. Therapy to heal relationships.

You fell in love with your partner, enjoyed the heady first days of the relationship, but staying in love is difficult. Your relationship isn't what it was or you want, you "can't seem to get it right", or even start. The "happily ever after" fairy tale has soured. You can reauthor your story - you know life is not a fairy tale, but the real tale is far more interesting. Therapy is not about being broken, sick or wrong. It's about growth, courage & moving forward. You can learn practical skills to create an authentic loving relationship which includes passion & intimacy as well as caring & communication. It is exciting & joyful to rediscover your feelings for each other.

I work with many couples in my practice. I illustrate the negative cycles they get into, which is very important in calming volatile interactions, and understanding how each person triggers the other, which keeps their negative cycles in motion. We explore family histories and the messages, and coping skills they learned. I help couples to understand the emotions under their anger and frustration, and to begin to speak to their partner from this softer place. It is a process which can shift negative patterns, and create closeness. Whether there has been an affair, communication issues, a breach of trust, sexual intimacy issues, or something else, there can be a path back to each other.

Couples counseling is the focus-area of my practice. Within that specialization, more specifically, I work with couples coping with infidelity and affair recovery. At the cornerstone of my approach to couples counseling is to help couples deepen their trust and establish a safe emotional climate between them. Counseling is conducted with compassion, warmth and respect. I have helped many couples restore and deepen their connections with one another and I would be honored to help you and your partner too.

It wasn't always this way. There was a time you looked forward to being with each other. You both trusted and enjoyed each other's company. You felt understood and accepted for being yourself. In couple's counseling, Hal offers you the opportunity to find the hidden strengths in the heart and soul of your relationship. Hal has helped hundreds of couples to improve communication and increase trust. Hal is very well respected and experienced in couple's counseling. In addition, he is a published author and was invited to appear on David Letterman's Late Night television program. Hal's schedule is flexible and appointments are available on evenings and weekends. Call Hal at (516) 439-4282

Sometimes members of a couple get stuck in their old relational patterns, the ways they have always related to others. As years pass by, and romance or sexual experiences diminish or other life events happen, the old patterns become more evident leading to gaps in communication, dissatisfaction, and lack of excitement. As a therapist, I will help you to communicate more effectively with your partner, in ways that acknowledge your personal needs and the needs of the other. I will help you find balance between conflicting needs: the needs of the individual and the needs of a couple. I work with straight couples and GLBT couples.

My approach to couples therapy draws from both the Gottman Method and Imago Relationship Therapy. The Gottman Method helps us identify damaging patterns, improve communication, and rebuild trust and intimacy. Imago goes deeper, helping you and your partner understand how your individual histories are showing up in your relationship. Most couples are surprised to find their recurring fights aren't really about what they think they're about. When you can see that clearly, everything shifts. The goal isn't just to stop arguing. It's to actually feel close again.

It can be so easy to fall into patterns and, over time, find that you keep having the same issues or arguments within your relationship or marriage. That's where couples counseling can help. Talking out issues and problems in a judgement-free space with a neutral third party invested in your progress and growth can help you and your relationship move forward. My goal as couples therapist is to listen to you and give you the tools and techniques to help get your relationship back on track. When you're ready to stop having the same conversations and to move forward in your relationship or marriage, let's talk.

I usually see each person separately for a while to determine what the dynamics are and what each person brings to the relationship that is their own issues that need resolution.I will then see them together and achieve better results.My style of working with couples has been effective if both are ready to look at their issues and improve communication.

The first step is to do a free couple’s assessment. In this session we’ll get clear on what has been difficult for both of you and how have you have been feeling. We will look at what the most important things that you have not been getting from your relationship. Then we will determine what makes a relationship for you and what would potentially break up a relationship. In closing we will go over what does work about the relationship and I will teach you a method that will help a woman learn to speak to men and for men to know how to speak to a woman.

There are countless models of healthy romantic relationships, from monogamous to polyamorous, and unique variations between partners. The scripts for dating and longterm relationships of our parents’ generations may not be applicable to your relationship, and there is no formal education in how to be a good partner or how to identify unhealthy relationships. But there is psychological research that shows that effective communication, emotional openness, intimacy, and other factors contribute to healthy relationships. Creating these conditions are skills that can be learned. I practice brief humanistic and emotion-focused therapy (EFT) to help my LGBTQ and hetero clients learn these skills.

As a certified Imago Relationship Therapist, I help partners feel more connected. I teach couples how to communicate so that partners understand each other, feel safe and don't take their partner's behavior personally. Once partner realize they are on the same team they can start to resolve their conflicts, rebuild trust, strengthen their relationship and bring back the passion.

Anger is not an aphrodisiac nor is it helpful in getting more of what you want. Couples in conflict often focus too much energy on changing their partner. The problem is that each partner does not have direct control over the other. The way out is of this dilemma is to learn how to not get so upset over what you dislike in your partner. I teach each partner how to improve their relationship by first modifying their own behavior. By having better control over your emotional and behavioral reactions you can more constructively communicate, negotiate and influence your partner. I teach you how to get your message across and positively influence your partner so that you can enjoy the results!