Geoffrey Bullock, LCSW at Asheville Marriage Counseling
Although I'm now exclusively a marriage and couples counselor, over the past 40 years serving as a counselor I've worked with infants, young families, adolescents, parents, and men's' issues amongst others. However....
Guiding couples to having rich and rewarding relationships has always been my deepest passion. So, as I entered the final quarter of my professional life, I chose to direct my experience and knowledge solely to that purpose.
Our intimate relationships or marriage have such power and influence on all areas of our lives. They hold the promise of expanding and enriching our lives beyond our own individual experience. They offer us companionship and building a shared history as we go through life's joys and challenges together. They can provide us an emotional anchor and safe refuge from the struggles of our day to day demands.
But, relationships are complex and don't always go smoothly. And with us depending on them so much, when problems occur in our marriage or relationship we can easily be devastated and deeply shaken. The yearning for a life companion is hard-wired into our being and when that connection doesn't feel secure, it hits us at our core.
Despite the deep urge for bonding with a partner, our culture has a dis-connect (or perhaps delusion) about the practical day to day fundamentals needed to support and sustain merging two lives together. From childhood we are flooded with a mythos and stories about love and simplistic 'happily ever after' endings. And while they can be inspiring, they're not very realistic.
Unfortunately, Love Doesn't Conquer All
Of course, love is a critical piece of a fulfilling marriage. It's a powerful force that motivates us to be more. It creates a deep bond between us and another person.
But, loving is an experience, an energy, an emotion. There's no denying it's intensity, but it's not particularly useful for finding practical solutions to manage differences between partners. Doing that requires understanding and applying other aspects of how our minds work, how we make decisions, and how we communicate with each other.
Creating and managing a solid partnership or marriage has become more complex than ever before. Modern couples - at any age and regardless of how long they've been together - now need to take more initiative for intentionally building and protecting their connection, intimacy, and reliable communication. That often requires some gaining some new insights and information, which is what counseling provides you.
Asheville Marriage Counseling
My goal in marriage and couple counseling is to guide you and your partner to uncover and put into practice the day-to-day actions to strengthen and enhance your connection. Counseling helps you gain new perspectives on the fundamental building blocks of being a couple, so you're able to direct your daily interactions to constantly support and add to a solid foundation for your relationship.
Our counseling will guide you in shifting away from arguing and fights over differences to discovering how you can manage your differences together. Having disagreements doesn't automatically result in disconnection. Not knowing how to manage them causes that. In fact, when approached with compassion and openness your disagreements can actually increase intimacy.
While it doesn't seem very romantic, recent discoveries in neuroscience on how our brains actually function in relationships have been revolutionary. Applying these principles can make couple counseling vastly more effective. I offer these new understandings to my clients when it's useful; and often just knowing what's happening in their brains helps inspire couples to overcome reactions like blaming and fighting, which are the natural brain's default.
Finding the Right Marriage Counselor
Research also indicates up to 70% of how beneficial counseling will be depends on the relationship between the client and their therapist. And having worked with a couple thousand clients, I absolutely believe it.
I'm not going to be 'the right fit' for every client or couple. That's why I offer a no cost one hour initial consultation for you to have a chance to meet with me in person before making any commitment. While I don't require it, I strongly encourage you to make use of a consultation.
Your marriage is the most important adult relationship in your life. Whether you're looking for a 'marriage tune up' or facing a crisis like infidelity, you want to get the most benefit and value possible from your counseling. That starts with having a good match with your counselor.
If you'd like to meet with me to discuss your situation, call to arrange your consultation at (828) 686-9601.
Geoffrey Bullock ReachesAsheville NC