Natalie M. Mills, LMFT

Natalie M. Mills View Specialties

When we're stuck on repeat in the problematic cycles of our relationships, at our jobs, or other aspects of life, it's easy to feel hopeless.
Our choices aren't obvious to us. In fact, it might not be obvious that we have choices at all. Sometimes they're altogether invisible and this can bring about feelings of frustration and despair. We feel sort of frozen in stress and dissatisfaction. This experience can manifest in myriad ways- anxiety, sadness, irritability, chronic arguing in a primary relationship, interpersonal conflict, job dissatisfaction, body dissatisfaction, and a general sense of restlessness.

It's also common for us to experience a lack of desired connectedness and intimacy in our relationships. There are a lot of reasons we might feel this way and it usually causes us to feel resentful, hopeless, scared, and lonely. We don't know what to do so we fight, withdraw, look outside of the relationship to get our needs met, or sabotage. it feels like there's no trust, increased tension, and a lot of yelling and arguing. What felt scary and unstable now feels terrifying. It's easy to get stuck here, too.   
Whether you identify your relationship as monogamous or otherwise un/defined, every relationship experiences turmoil. This turmoil is not permanent and can be used to fortify you. It's an opportunity to learn about what isn't working and find what will.
Often, our first instinct is to brace ourselves. We brace for a fight or a struggle, to resist, to strong-arm our way through it. It's uncomfortable to think about our suffering, why it's happening, and what we can do to change it. But the more we avoid something, the scarier and more overwhelming it becomes. It dominates us, our thoughts, our decisions, our feelings.       
With a collaborative, compassionate, and non-pathologizing approach, I help my clients look at what's happening now, how and why it's happening so that they can avoid repeating it. Together, we find concrete strategies to abate and extinguish the behaviors and patterns that don't support their goals.
When we own our narrative and our experience, we empower ourselves. It stops feeling like life "just happens" to us. We can respond to our thoughts, feelings, and symptoms instead of living in them. They stop being who we are and become an integrated part of us. And when we come from this place of empowerment and authenticity we are free to see our own choices. We don't have to feel stuck in the dread and fear.
I would love the opportunity to help you learn to trust yourself, feel confident about your choices, and form stable and lasting bonds. 

Natalie M. Mills Reaches

San Francisco CA