Sherri Scott-Berner, CBT, CP, DBT, Life Coach

Sherri Scott-Berner View Specialties

  • Cognitive Behavioral Marriage, Individual Therapist and Life Coach
  • South Surrey, BC, Surrey, British Columbia, V3S 0V4
  • Additional Locations:
      See additional office location: South Surrey, V3X 3E6
      Im the area of: 152nd Street and 36 Avenue (Full Address upon booking)
      South Surrey, V3X 3E6
  • Phone: 604-880-6704
  • Send A Message To Sherri.
  • Session Fees: $100.00/ hour, (15 minute and 30 minutes segments also available and packages). Sliding scale available for those on income assistance on request.). LIFE COACHING: $30/15 mins ; $60/30 mins ; $100/60 mins . Also packages are available.
  • This member is also available for online counseling.
  • Online-counseling methods: Email, Phone, IM, Webcam

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SHERRI SCOTT-BERNER & ASSOCIATES

Marriage Counselling • Individual Counselling • Life Coaching • Corporate Coaching

“WE DON’T JUST TALK ABOUT IT.”

If you are looking for a counsellor who will sit quietly, nod occasionally, and ask “How does that make you feel?” for the next six months, Sherri Scott-Berner may not be the counsellor for you.

If you are looking for someone warm, relatable, direct, compassionate, and genuinely invested in helping you change something, you may have found the right place.

For over 15 years, Sherri has worked with individuals and couples through everything from everyday life challenges to deeply complicated personal and relationship crises.

Her approach is very human.

You are far more likely to find Sherri in comfortable clothes with a favourite mug of something hot nearby than dressed like the stereotypical therapist in pearls and a pencil skirt.

Her clients often develop deep, trusting and long-lasting relationships with her. Many return during different seasons of their lives because they know they are coming back to someone who already understands them.

You can talk about the things that are uncomfortable.

The things you are embarrassed to say out loud.

Sex. Marriage. Infidelity. Pornography. Anger. Fear. Faith. Shame. Resentment. Trauma. Family. Parenting. Mental health.

Or simply:

“I have absolutely no idea what to do next.”

But comfortable does not mean passive.

Sherri is a behavioural therapist, and listening, although extremely important, is only part of the work.

She wants the process moving.

That means identifying patterns, developing behavioural plans, introducing practical tools, changing communication, setting goals, assigning exercises when appropriate, and helping clients begin implementing changes in their actual lives as quickly as possible.

The goal is not to rush anyone through important emotions.

The goal is to avoid leaving people stuck in them.

Sherri wants clients to leave sessions understanding more than what went wrong.

She wants them to begin knowing:

What do I do differently now?

That philosophy has shaped her practice for years:

“WE DON’T JUST TALK ABOUT IT.”



COUNSELLING THAT DOESN’T HAVE TO FEEL LIKE COUNSELLING

For many people, especially men, the very word “counselling” can create resistance.

They may picture sitting in a room while their spouse recounts years of hurt, arguments and emotional experiences, while they struggle to find the right words to respond.

In many couples, one partner is simply better at articulating emotions.

They may remember conversations in remarkable detail, know exactly how something made them feel, and have already spent hours analyzing the relationship.

The other person may care just as deeply but have much more difficulty putting what is happening inside them into words.

That does not necessarily mean they care less.

And it should not mean they begin counselling already feeling as though they are losing.

Endlessly rehashing old arguments can make someone weary of the process very quickly. For some, it is exactly what made them avoid counselling in the first place.

This is one of the areas where Sherri’s behavioural approach can make counselling feel very different.

Rather than deciding who tells the story best, Sherri looks for the pattern.

What happens when the disagreement begins?

What does each person do next?

What causes it to escalate?

Where does communication collapse?

What keeps repeating?

What is each person trying to accomplish?

What does each person need?

And most importantly:

What can we start doing differently?

There are still emotions to understand. There are still important experiences that need to be heard.

But there are also:

Tools.
Strategies.
Behavioural changes.
Communication exercises.
Goals.
Homework.
Practice.

For many clients, the experience begins to feel less like an emotional interrogation and more like taking a personalized one-on-one course in understanding yourself, your partner, and how to create a healthier relationship.

There are many similarities to Life Coaching.

You learn.

You practise.

You experiment with different behaviours.

You discover what works.

You make adjustments.

And ideally, you begin to notice something changing.

You do not have to be “good at counselling” to come to counselling.

You do not need perfect emotional vocabulary.

You do not need to know exactly how you feel.

And you certainly do not need to explain your entire childhood during your first appointment.

You simply need to be willing to look honestly at what is happening and consider doing something differently.



MARRIAGE & RELATIONSHIP COUNSELLING

Marriage and relationship counselling has been one of the central focuses of Sherri’s work for over 15 years.

She works with couples experiencing everything from normal relationship struggles to serious marital crisis, including what she often calls “last-chance marriages,” where one or both partners may already be contemplating separation.

Couples arrive saying things such as:

“We don’t communicate anymore.”

“We love each other, but we don’t really like each other.”

“We’re roommates.”

“There has been an affair.”

“I don’t trust my partner anymore.”

“We never have sex.”

“Everything turns into a fight.”

“One of us wants out.”

“I don’t know if this marriage can be saved.”

Sherri does not believe couples necessarily benefit from spending endless sessions replaying every fight they have ever had.

The history matters.

It helps us understand the present.

But eventually the question becomes:

What now?

What is broken?

What is still working?

What is each person contributing to the pattern?

What does each person need?

Is there something healthy enough to rebuild?

And if so, what would actually have to change?


Areas of relationship work may include:

*Communication breakdown

*Emotional disconnection

*Infidelity

*Betrayal

*Rebuilding trust

*Sexual intimacy

*Sexual incompatibility

*Pornography

*Trauma affecting relationships

*Resentment

*Anger

*Conflict

*Separation decisions

*Parenting pressures

*Codependency

*Personality differences

*ADHD and relationship dynamics

*Blended families

*Loss of friendship

*Loss of affection

*Rebuilding intimacy

* “Last chance” marriage counselling


Sherri’s goal is not to put either spouse on trial.

It is not him against her or her against him.

The problem is the problem.

The goal is to get two people onto the same team long enough to determine whether something better can be built.




INDIVIDUAL COUNSELLING

You do not have to be in crisis to benefit from counselling.

Sometimes you simply reach a point where you realize:

“Something in my life needs to change.”

Sherri works with adults and young adults facing a wide variety of personal, emotional and relational concerns, including:

*Anxiety

*Depression

*Fear

*Anger

*Relationship difficulties

*Marriage and separation concerns

*ADHD

*Autism-related challenges

*Personality and interpersonal difficulties

*Parenting concerns

*Empty Nest Syndrome

*Life transitions

*Career changes

*Burnout

*Self-esteem

*Boundaries

*Family conflict

*Major life decisions

*Grief and loss

*Trauma-related difficulties

*Codependency

*Caregiver stress

*Communication problems


Sherri’s therapeutic foundation is strongly Cognitive Behavioural while drawing from a variety of approaches depending upon the needs, personality and circumstances of the individual client.

Her work may incorporate:

Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT)
Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT) principles
Gestalt Therapy
Psychodrama
Psychoanalytic concepts
Person-Centred Therapy
Marriage and Family Therapy approaches
Life Coaching

Sherri does not believe every person should be counselled in exactly the same way.

People are far too complicated for that.



LIFE COACHING

Sometimes the question is not:

“What happened to me?”

It is:

“What am I going to do next?”

As a Life Coach, Sherri works with people who are facing decisions, transitions, ambitions or circumstances where they simply feel stuck.

Coaching may involve:

*Career direction

*Personal development

*Relationship decisions

*Major life transitions

*Goal setting

*Accountability

*Confidence

*Communication

*Boundaries

*Leadership

*Lifestyle changes

*Motivation

*Turning an idea into an actual plan


Sherri’s coaching style follows much the same philosophy as her counselling:

We identify where you are.

We determine where you want to go.

Then we build the bridge between the two.


PRIVATE, DISCREET COUNSELLING FROM WHEREVER YOU FEEL SAFE

For some clients, remote counselling is convenient.

For others, it is one of the reasons counselling becomes possible at all.

Not everyone wants to be seen walking into a counselling office.

Sherri has worked with clients whose professions, public roles, personal histories or circumstances make discretion particularly important, including politicians, police officers, executives, people who have gone through the criminal justice system, professionals in sensitive positions and other high-profile clients.

Sometimes privacy matters enormously.

There is no counselling-office parking lot.

No waiting room.

No public entrance.

No unexpected encounter with a colleague, employee, neighbour, client, constituent or member of the community.

You choose where the conversation happens.

And privacy is only part of the advantage.



SOMETIMES HOME IS THE BEST COUNSELLING ROOM

An unfamiliar office does not automatically make someone feel emotionally safe.

Your own environment might.

Remote counselling means you can choose the place where you feel most comfortable, secure and able to talk.

That may mean sitting in your favourite chair.

Wearing fluffy slippers.

Wrapping yourself in your favourite blanket.

Having your dog curled up beside you.

Holding that special mug filled with tea, coffee or whatever lovely hot beverage makes the world feel a little more manageable.

You have your own lighting.

Your own tissues.

Your own washroom.

Your own surroundings.

Your own comforts.

And when the session ends, you do not have to collect yourself in a waiting room or immediately drive home while still processing a difficult conversation.

Sometimes those seemingly little things are not little at all.

Feeling physically comfortable can help create the emotional safety necessary to talk about things that are deeply personal, painful, embarrassing or frightening.

For many clients, remote counselling does not make therapy less personal.

It can actually make it more personal.



COUPLES CAN ALSO COUNSEL FROM TWO DIFFERENT LOCATIONS

Remote marriage counselling offers another option that can be extremely valuable.

You do not necessarily have to sit beside your spouse during the session.

Some couples attend together.

Others join from two completely separate locations.

And sometimes that works better.

When a marriage is highly distressed, it can be difficult to speak candidly while sitting beside the person you are talking about.

You may hesitate because you know there will be an awkward drive home.

You may worry about the argument that could follow.

You may avoid saying something because you do not want to deal with your partner’s immediate reaction once the video call ends.

Being in separate locations can sometimes allow each person to speak more openly and honestly.

For some couples, physical separation during counselling can also create a greater sense of emotional or physical safety while allowing both partners to fully participate.

This can be particularly useful when discussing subjects such as:

*Infidelity

*Betrayal

*Separation

*Sexual concerns

*Resentment

*Anger

*Fear

*Loss of trust

*Highly emotional conflict

*Major relationship decisions


Couples can join from separate rooms, homes, offices, cities or even countries.

Remote counselling can therefore offer something traditional counselling sometimes cannot:

Space to be honest without losing the connection required to work together.



CORPORATE COUNSELLING & COACHING

Behind every organization chart are human beings.

Executives burn out.

Teams stop communicating.

Conflict goes underground.

People become overwhelmed.

Productivity can begin falling long before anyone recognizes the actual problem.

Sherri works with executives, professionals and workplace teams to address the human dynamics affecting performance, leadership, communication and workplace satisfaction.

Corporate work may include:

Executive coaching

Burnout prevention

Workplace communication

Team dynamics

Conflict resolution

Leadership development

Stress management

Boundaries

Workplace relationships

Personal effectiveness

Individual support

Corporate workshops


Individual executive sessions and customized group workshops are available.

Please inquire directly regarding corporate programming and pricing.



MORE THAN TEXTBOOK EXPERIENCE

Sherri brings an unusually broad professional, personal and creative background to her work.

She received her Diploma in Applied Psychology and Counselling from Kelowna College of Professional Counselling and has over 15 years of counselling experience working with individuals and couples.

Sherri also graduated with Highest Honours in Paralegal Studies, with education in areas including Family Law, Marital Law and Contract Law.

Her legal education and exposure to the realities of family breakdown strengthened her desire to help couples deal proactively with serious relationship problems before they become irreversible, whenever healthy reconciliation remains possible.

Sherri also co-owned one of the earlier Christian Internet counselling services in North America, with a particular focus on helping couples who felt that friendship, intimacy or passion had diminished in their marriage, as well as those hoping to create something they felt had never fully developed from the beginning.



AUTHOR, WRITER & CREATIVE PROFESSIONAL

Sherri is also an author, with several books currently being published.

Writing has been an important part of her professional and creative life.

Her background as a writer naturally complements her counselling work because both involve exploring people, motivation, relationships, communication, conflict and the complicated realities of human behaviour.

Her writing and commentary have appeared in internet, newspaper and magazine publications, including media associated with:

The New York Times
Maclean’s
Toronto Sun



THEATRE, PSYCHODRAMA & WORKING WITH YOUTH

Producing, directing and acting have remained close to Sherri’s heart throughout her life.

She has worked with community theatre involving both adults and children, and that experience has influenced her therapeutic work through:

Psychodrama

Role-playing

Communication exercises

Experiential learning

Group work


Sherri also has more than 17 years of experience working with children and youth through leadership, arts, theatre, music, counselling-related and community programs.

As a Youth Leader, she participated in programs and discussions addressing issues including:

*Parental and family problems

*Relationships

*Sexual pressures

*Sexual assault and trauma

*Teen pregnancy

*Pornography

*Drugs and alcohol

*Addictions

*Suicide and emotional crisis

*School pressures

*Career and employment planning

*Motivation

*Personality differences

*Peer relationships


These varied experiences have contributed to Sherri’s tendency to see the whole person, rather than reducing someone to a diagnosis or a list of symptoms.



WHY SHERRI DOES THIS WORK

In Sherri’s words:

“I have lived a life full of experiences, and I certainly haven't escaped struggle myself. I think that matters.”

“There are times when a client tells me something and I understand it academically. But there are other times when I understand because, in one form or another, I may have walked through something difficult too.”

“I don't want my clients to feel studied. I want them to feel understood.”

“I genuinely become invested in the people I work with. I want to see them succeed.”

“I want marriages to become healthy when they can be saved. I want people who have spent years feeling stuck to suddenly realize that they have choices.”

“I feel WITH my clients. I think that may be one of the things that sets me apart.”

“But I also don't want to simply listen to someone talk about a problem indefinitely. Listening helps me understand it. Then I want us to start figuring out what we can do about it.”

“Therapy should eventually change something.”

“That is why my philosophy has always been: We Don’t Just Talk About It.”



WHAT SHERRI WANTS FOR HER CLIENTS

Sherri’s goal is to create a relationship where clients feel comfortable enough to tell the truth.

Not the polished version.

Not necessarily the socially acceptable version.

The real version.

There are very few subjects that frighten Sherri away from a conversation.

You do not need to arrive at counselling knowing exactly what is wrong.

You do not need to have the perfect words.

You do not need to know what you want to do.

You simply arrive.

Together, you begin figuring it out.

Sherri’s goal is to help clients understand themselves, develop useful coping and communication skills, create healthier relationships, face difficult realities, make important decisions with greater confidence, and implement practical changes that can improve their lives.

Most importantly:

YOU CAN TELL THE TRUTH HERE.



QUALIFICATIONS & PROFESSIONAL EXPERIENCE

Diploma in Applied Psychology and Counselling, Kelowna College of Professional Counselling

Over 15 years of counselling experience

Highest Honours Graduate, Stratford College, Paralegal Studies

Studies including Family Law, Marital Law and Contract Law

Life Coach

Author, with several books currently being published

Former co-owner of an early Christian online counselling service specializing in marriage and relationship concerns

Extensive experience working with individuals and couples in crisis

Experience with individuals, couples, families, young adults, executives and groups

More than 17 years of experience working with children and youth through leadership, counselling-related, artistic, theatrical and community programs

Experience facilitating individual counselling, marriage counselling, group work, workshops and corporate programming


Therapeutic Approaches & Areas of Practice

Marriage & Relationship Counselling • Cognitive Behavioural Therapy • Individual Counselling • Life Coaching • DBT-Informed Work • Gestalt • Psychodrama • Person-Centred Therapy • Marriage & Family Approaches • Corporate Coaching & Workshops


READY TO MAKE SOMETHING DIFFERENT?

You do not need to have everything figured out before booking counselling.

That is rather the point.

Maybe your marriage is hanging by a thread.

Maybe your relationship looks perfectly fine from the outside and feels terribly lonely from the inside.

Maybe you love one another but cannot seem to stop hurting one another.

Maybe everyone depends on you and you are exhausted.

Maybe you are facing a decision you simply cannot make.

Maybe your career or public position means you need somewhere completely private to talk.

Maybe somebody you love convinced you to try counselling and you are still not entirely thrilled about the idea.

Maybe you have been thinking about counselling for three years and keep finding reasons not to make the appointment.

Or maybe you simply know:

“I CANNOT KEEP DOING THINGS EXACTLY THE WAY I HAVE BEEN DOING THEM.”

That is enough of a place to begin.


SHERRI SCOTT-BERNER & ASSOCIATES
Marriage Counselling • Individual Counselling • Life Coaching • Corporate Coaching

“WE DON’T JUST TALK ABOUT IT.”

For counselling, coaching, workshop or corporate inquiries:
sherriscottberner@gmail.com
604-880-6704


Sherri Scott-Berner Reaches

Surrey BC