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Mania is something that can be a very productive state of mind when channeled in a positive direction. Some of the most creative minds of our time were diagnosable as bi-polars; Beethoven, Charles Dickens, Ernest Hemmingway and Abraham Lincoln just to name a few (the list goes on). [More]

The holidays are here and with that come fun, family, good times…and of course the stress and the anxiety. Whether you are hosting an event, traveling, or just staying in with a few of your loved ones, it can be a very stressful time of the year for many people. [More]

We live in a demanding world. We are called to perform at our best at work as well as at home. There is too much to do and the higher up the social statues hierarchy a person is, the more roles and responsibilities he/she has to face. [More]

When it comes to someone with obsessive-compulsive behaviors, the line between enabling and acceptance can be blurred. Here are some valuable insights into helping someone you love who may exhibit OCD. [More]

Hiring a babysitter can be a downright frightening thought. We will break it down for you to do it right, so you can give yourself that much needed downtime with peace of mind. [More]

Though we don't typically associate the two, sadness and joy are more closely linked than you might think. Have you ever been in a situation where you feel mildly or even severely depressed, but then feel better after letting it out? The venting of melancholic emotions does just that: it lets everything out. That is why activities that may elicit a strong, emotional reaction (such as a sad movie) can actually bring us to a more positive mood at the end. [More]

It’s 11pm. Now 12am. Now 1am. Now 2am. Now 3am. And you still haven’t fallen asleep. During those sleepless hours, you might feel like the whole world is asleep – except you. But you are not alone. In 2010, it was reported that the demand for sleeping pill prescriptions boosted by 60% in the United States.[1] Moreover, one in three Americans has difficulties falling asleep, and more than 35 million have chronic insomnia. A Brief History of Insomnia There is an intriguing relationship between insomnia and historical developments. As outlined by Summers-Bremner, certain events of the human story have contributed to our propensity to become insomniacs.[2] In the 1700s, the European Baroque culture led to a greater appreciation of modern nightlife, thereby interrupting regular sleep patterns. Historians especially point to industrialization as a dominant variable that led groups of society – even cities – to become victims of tiresome, sleepless nights. The developments of gas, electric lighting, the increasing popularity of nighttime entertainment, and evermore-busy schedules have turned our sleep into an utter nightmare. For these reasons, urban cities are especially connected with the rise of insomnia. It is not surprising, then, that the popular Hollywood film, Sleepless in Seattle, takes place in an urban setting. My Experience with Insomnia Like you, I too have suffered from insomnia. I am all too familiar with the cycle of fearing that I will not fall asleep, not falling asleep, and then dreading that I will wake without ever having slept. I have laid down in bed and calculated how many coffees or teas I should have the next day,just to get through the first few hours of the morning. I have also planned out when I can squeeze in a quick 15-minute nap to give me the energy needed to last the rest of the day. And I have felt hopeless by thinking that my insomnia had no cure. But following the advice of my counselor, I made a few small changes in my diet, exercise, schedule, and thought patterns. I eventually discovered that I could enjoy the blessing of a restful sleep. Defining Insomnia Doctors have defined three main types of insomnia.[3] Transient Insomnia The first of these is transient insomnia. This category of insomnia involves troubles sleeping for only a night or two. For example, you might not sleep as well on the night before an exam, or the night before an important meeting, or the night after a heated argument with your loved one. Short-Term Insomnia Secondly, short-term insomnia occurs when you cannot sleep well for a few days or even a few weeks. This could be because you are stressed about work, suffering from relationship issues, or getting over jet lag. Chronic (or Acute) Insomnia Thirdly, chronic insomnia involves troubled sleep patterns that last for months or years. Unfortunately, this category of insomnia can lead to or be caused by mental health issues, notably depression and anxiety. Insomnia and Mental Health Issues Depression One of the key mental health issues associated with insomnia is depression.[4] Signs of depression include irritability, a short temper, decreased motivation, an inability to concentrate, hopelessness, increased crying, and a lack of fulfillment in things that you would typically enjoy. Sometimes it is difficult to trace the causal relationship between insomnia and depression. Did your insomnia cause your depression or did your depression cause your insomnia? If you are unsure of the answer, it is a good idea to discuss this with a counselor. Addressing this question can help you identify the root of your insomnia, which can help you along the path to more restful nights. Anxiety In addition to depression, anxiety can also be intimately related to insomnia.[5] Signs of anxiety include an inability to relax, dizziness, nausea, excessive fears, nightmares, and hot or cold sweats. Anxiety can also lead to a perpetual cycle of feeling anxious about not sleeping and then not sleeping due to your anxiety. If you struggle with anxiety and insomnia, then cognitive behavioral therapy is a helpful method of treatment. By seeking the help of a mental health professional, you can help identify the root of your anxiety, as well as effective coping techniques. Seeking Help from a Mental Health Professional Insomnia can be a lonely experience, but there are mental health professionals who can walk alongside you in your search for a restful sleep. You know that simply counting sheep does not solve the issue. You also might feel that your insomnia is related to a deeper issue – the most common being either depression or anxiety. If you can’t sleep, then rest assured that there are counselors and therapists who can help you discover techniques, medications, and lifestyle changes that can help you restore your sleep. I’ll let you sleep on that. [1] Kornblatt, S. 2010. Restful Insomnia. San Francisco: Red Wheel. [2] Summers-Bremner, E. 2008. Insomnia: A Cultural History. London: Reaktion Books. [3] Kornblatt, S. 2010. Restful Insomnia. San Francisco: Red Wheel. [4] Silberman, S.A. 2008. The Insomnia Workbook. Oakland, CA: New Harbinger Publications. [5] Ibid.

A couple of months ago, our neighbor knocked on the door of apartment 24. She had never done so before, so she had no idea who would answer it. That person happened to be me. She quietly sighed with relief – probably thankful that I was not a grumpy scrooge in a shabby robe that had just been awoken by a total stranger on a Saturday morning. Then she sheepishly asked, “Do you happen to have a plunger that I can borrow? We just moved in, and our toilet is clogged.” “Of course,” I replied. “Just wait here, and I’ll be right back.” She smiled as she thanked me and quickly turned towards the hallway to walk back to her front door. About half an hour later, she came back, returned the plunger, and we said goodbye. You might think that I was being polite. But I didn’t even bother to ask what her name was. In fact, I didn’t even know that she was new to the building. After I closed the apartment door, I closed the door on an opportunity to make a new acquaintance. Perhaps it was my fault. And perhaps it was also characteristic of 21st-century urban society. I can’t help but wonder what our brief encounter would have been like if we were of a different time period, of a different generation. I recall the day my Grandma welcomed her new neighbors into their cul-de-sac. She spent the whole afternoon baking chocolate chip cookies. Then, we left her kitchen and walked across the street together. We rung her neighbors’ doorbell and greeted them with a basket of freshly baked cookies. Grandma’s warmhearted welcoming felt so natural and charming – not distant and reserved. And now I wonder whether something has been lost somewhere between Grandma’s generation and mine. She carries with her a certain level of finesse, etiquette, and propriety that I wish I possessed. Emily Post: The Face of American Etiquette in the 1920s Emily Post, a famous American writer on etiquette, explained that etiquette is something that can be developed by all, regardless of one’s background or socio-economic status.[1] Etiquette, she wrote, involves both ethics and good manners. Her writings pay a great deal of attention to the importance of considering the well being of others. Though in many ways Emily Post’s notions of etiquette might be a bit outdated – and even awkward – for modern day interactions, there is something to be learned from the social graces of the Roaring Twenties. Young girls in finishing schools devoured her books on how to conduct oneself in a multitude of scenarios, and many of these lessons still apply to the 21st century. A young lady would greet an elderly lady in the hallway with a “How do you do, Mrs. Jones?” A gentleman would offer his arm to an ill person if he saw that they were having trouble walking. Customers would speak politely to salespeople – it would be considered a sign of ill breeding and selfishness to do otherwise. Guests at a dinner party would not take more than their share of food at the table. Pedestrians would not litter the streets with their garbage. And we would greet our new neighbors with a friendly introduction, a greeting card, and a small gift. A Forgotten Art: The Art of Conversation In 2009, Catherine Blyth published a book, The Art of Conversation, which reiterates some of the consequences of our gradual loss of social graces.[2] In it she explains that we are losing our appreciation for conversation, face-to-face dialogues, and the delight of striking up a spontaneous conversation with a total stranger. What strikes me most is that conversation is not merely a tool, a duty, or an obligation – it is a pleasure, something that adds value to our lives. Talking with someone else, even if just for a couple of minutes with a stranger, can be an enriching experience. Is our society afraid of conversation? Is exchanging names with a new neighbor considered intrusive? Should it not be a sign of friendliness? Are we too busy to help that elderly lady cross the street or to hold the door for a stranger? Bad Manners and Social Anxiety Unfortunately, our lack of social graces can negatively affect the well being of others. When we are rude, short, or temperamental with others, we do not consider how our actions affect those around us. Unfortunately, our gradual loss of social graces has the potential to harm others, sometimes encouraging or reinforcing the development of social anxiety. Broadly speaking, social anxiety involves feelings of discomfort or worries that stem from social interactions.[3] A good friend of mine struggles with social anxiety. Earlier this year, she recounted a disastrous family gathering where a relative was deliberately rude to her. She came home not only feeling hurt, but even more anxious about social interactions than before. Bad manners and bad behavior are inexcusable and can have a lasting impact on society. May we all do our part in improving our manners - not only as a sign of finesse, but also as an ethical consideration for the well-being of others. Though we no longer live in the 1920s, we can still strive to be a friendly, charming, and well-mannered people. If you struggle with social anxiety or panic attacks, there are therapists who can help you. Mental health practitioners want you to feel valued and want you to develop meaningful relationships with others. Together with a therapist you can work through the causes of your anxiety and learn coping tools to help you function with less stress and more joy. [1] Post, Emily. 2007. First published in 1922. Etiquette: In Society, in Business, in Politics, and at Home. New York: Cosimo. [2] Blyth, C. 2008. The Art of Conversation. New York: Penguin. [3] Jacobs, A., and Antony, M. 2008. Social Anxiety Disorder and Social Phobia. Social Anxiety Support. [online] Available at: <http://www.socialanxietysupport.com/disorder/#what> [Accessed on 1 September 2013].

You walked the stage on the day of your high school graduation. But will you do it this time around? Though many bright-eyed university students walk onto campus filled with hopes dreams, not all of them leave with a degree. The university dropout rate is 16% in Canada.[1] In the United States, the situation is even worse: a mere 53% of American students actually walk the stage.[2] There are many challenges that make university life difficult, as outlined in Back to School Series: Are you Ready? Unfortunately for some, the academic challenges of university education simply become too overwhelming. Manage Your Time to Manage Your Stress A major obstacle to high scholastic achievement is poor time management. Personally, this was a lesson I had to learn firsthand during my first final exam. I had paid attention in lectures and done most of the readings, but I had not sufficiently prepared myself in the weeks and months leading up to the exam. So, at 1am on the eve of my assessment, I called my parents only to sob on the other end in utter fear of failing. I hardly slept that night. The next day, I dragged myself out of bed and walked down to the examination hall with one eye twitching from lack of sleep. I sat down in a room with hundreds of worried students, and then hurriedly scribbled my answer to the first question. Those three hours were grueling, and all I could think was: “I wish I had studied harder.” Thankfully, I decided that I did not enjoy the end result of my deliberate procrastination. Poor time management had made me into a tired, grumpy, and malfunctioning zombie with hazy thoughts and poor retention skills. After that stressful episode, I turned for help by setting up an appointment with an academic counselor. I also attended a variety of free sessions on how to time manage, study effectively, and manage stress. Combined, they improved my study habits in a way that was tailored to my personality, including my strengths and weaknesses as a student. Thankfully, you do not have to subject yourself to the same level of anxiety and stress that I experienced. Procrastination: The Road to Anxiety According to Palmer and Puri, there is a relationship between the passing of time and your level of stress or anxiety.[3] The closer you are to a deadline for an assignment or the day of an exam, the more likely you are to feel stressed. It follows that the earlier you begin working on an assignment or studying for an exam, the less stressed you will feel and the better you will be able to focus. As soon as you get your course syllabus, draft a study plan that covers all of the readings, assignments, and exams that you will have during the upcoming academic year. Academic Counseling Even better, revise your study plan with an academic counselor – and do not procrastinate on this one. He or she likely has a good understanding of which courses will be more demanding. This can help you achieve a balanced work distribution. Your academic counselor can also help you understand how to study for each course. For instance, a course in history will likely require a heavy amount of readings, while a course in mathematics will probably involve a great deal of practical exercises. These different focuses require different study skills. If you understand what is expected of you, you will also know how to balance your study time and free time. But if you procrastinate, you will probably end up having loads of free time for months and then a combination of stress headaches, cold sweats, and stressful all-nighters at the library - not a great way to end the year. Eat a Frog for Breakfast One of the best words of wisdom I received from my academic counselor was to “eat a frog for breakfast.” The meaning of this saying is twofold. Firstly, do not procrastinate your most challenging work; do your most difficult studying first and then turn your focus to easier tasks or courses. Secondly, work hard and then enjoy your free time – not the other way around. You can only be productive if you eliminate distractions, as argued by Forsyth.[4] To perform well, you need to focus. And this will likely involve studying in an environment – be it a library, a café, a park, among others – where you are not distracted by your fun and gregarious roommate, where you won’t waste your time watching the latest episode of your favourite TV show, and where you won’t be tempted to throw everything aside for a night out with your friends. Learn what your distractions are, as well as when to avoid them and when to enjoy them. Perfectionism Isn’t Perfect Another tendency for some students is to try to do everything perfectly. But this can also become an obstacle to proper time management.[5] Ask your professor or teaching assistant what you need to do to achieve high marks on your exam or assignment. You do not need to read every word of Plato’s The Republic if there will only be one question on the topic. You also do not need to discover the cure for cancer prior to your biology exam. Be reasonable with the amount of time that you devote to each assignment or to studying. You will then discover that you can actually enjoy your Friday night off. Your professors do not expect you to become the next Shakespeare or the next Einstein. You can aim high without going overboard. Time is Not Your Enemy University can be a challenging phase for many students. But you do not need to let poor time management get in the way of a brilliant academic career. Manage your time, and you will find the time to both succeed academically and delight in all the excitement of university life. And if you’re not sure how to plan your studying, then take the time to meet your academic counselor. [1] Postsecondary Status of Young Adults. 2005. Statistics Canada. [online] Available at: <http://www.statcan.gc.ca/pub/81-595-m/2008070/t/6000011-eng.htm> [2] Porter, E. 2013. Dropping out of college, and paying the price. The New York Times. [online] Available at: <http://www.nytimes.com/2013/06/26/business/economy/dropping-out-of-college-and-paying-the-price.html?pagewanted=all&_r=0> [3] Palmer, S., and Puri, A. 2006. Coping with Stress at University: A Survival Guide. London: SAGE Publications. [4] Forsyth, P. 2013. Successful Time Management. London: Kogan. [5] Ibid.

It is not always just about the kids...back to school help for parents: Back to school time can be very stressful for both children and parents. Parents want their kids to be happy and healthy, and get along well in school. After days of staying up late, sleeping in, and no homework, it can be tough to get back to a routine. Add to that the stress of the $8.5 billion that the United States spent on school shopping in August 2012, and the tension is even higher. [i] However, there are some things you can do to help ease the stress, and send the kids off to school with confidence. Be Prepared Don’t wait until the last minute. Create a schedule and do a trial run before school starts. This will give you an idea of how long the morning routine will take, and what types of things can be done in the evening instead of mornings. Make lunches, iron, set out clothes, and pack the backpacks before bed, and you will cut out valuable morning time. Practice bus routines. Meet the neighborhood kids before the first day, so that your child knows who they will spend the ride with, and it will make it easier to find the right bus after school because they know who to look for on the bus. Plan play dates prior to school so that the kids will know each other and the ride to school will put them at ease before they get to school. Visit the school. Meet the teachers, know what is expected, get teacher contact info, and a get school supply list. Meeting the teachers will help you decide what types of things are going to be priorities, and what you may need to watch for during the school year. It can also ease the child’s fears if they do not know the teacher, or are unfamiliar with the school layout. Inquire about fees, such as lunches, class fees, art fees, etc. This will allow you to plan your budget. Gather information. Know the school web site, know the contact information for principal, superintendent, and phone numbers for administration such as the number to call when your child is ill, or you have questions about events. Know how the school communicates important information such as school closures, or late starts, and emergency routines. Get to bed early several nights before going back to school. We tend to stay up longer as the sun stays up longer. Our bodies need time to adjust back to the fall season. Give yourself a couple weeks to adjust to going to bed early. Start about a half-hour earlier, and gradually add more until you have reached the desired fall bedtime. If you find it difficult to get the kids to adjust, use relaxation techniques such as a warm bath, stories, or other quiet time activities before you put them to bed. Create a budget, and know how much you can spend for all school related expenses. Differentiate between needs and wants, and do your shopping as close to that first day as you can. Kids always seem to have growth spurts during the summer, and shopping early may mean you will be shopping again early in the year. Discuss with your child, prior to shopping, the types of things you are going to get, and stick to it. If you choose to get 5 new shirts, and 5 new pants, the child knows the expectation and will feel content with what they get. Designate a desk area. Homework comes first, so make sure there is a place where the kids have all their supplies, quiet, and a posture of study. Make Family Time Don’t take on extra tasks during this time. The back to school mad dash is enough stress. Don’t over-stimulate yourself by taking on too much. Stick to your priorities. Remember that kids can be overwhelmed also, and they will need their sleep, and healthy life-style. Be aware of how they are feeling. Ask the child about their fears. The best way to diminish worry is to address it. Do not give kids new things to worry about by expressing what you think they may worry about, but ask what they are thinking and what they are excited about as the new school year approaches. Based on what they express, you can address the fears they have. Establish relaxation for both kids and parents. Start a fun tradition, such as doing something special the day before school starts. I like to take my child out for a juice, or ice cream, and do some last minute light shopping for something simple, such as a belt, or hat. The real purpose is to talk and see what my child is thinking about, but all he knows is that it is super cool to have juice or ice cream with mom, and pick out one last new thing. You could also do a family marshmallow roast in the back yard, or game night. Any activities that will allow for natural conversation and fun will be perfect. Above all, stay positive. We make it through each new school year, and our kids see the little cues we give off if we are tense. Remember that this can be an exciting time to watch our kids grow, and develop into the wonderful new person that they are becoming. Relax and enjoy the pride you have in your amazing kids. Getting Help: It is okay to be stressed out. It is normal to be worried about getting everything right and feeling rushed for time. You, as a parent, may benefit from talking to someone about how you are feeling. Counseling to assist in making you the best parent you can be can be helpful. The back to school time can be stressful on your marriage or even work. Therapy can help to relieve the added tension and can help bring back some balance and perspective to life during this time. When it seems like it is all about the kids, sometimes it is important to make sure we are taking care of ourselves. [i] "Monthly & Annual Retail Trade, Main Page - US Census Bureau." Census Bureau Homepage. N.p., 29 Mar. 2013. Web. 28 July 2013.