Theravive Home

Living the life of an everyday hero can take a toll over time. Those who do not get relief from the stress and exhaustion are at risk for compassion fatigue. [More]

For many people, the demands of the holidays are intense and overwhelming – just the logistics of shopping, decorating, baking, and entertaining. Find ways to identify stress, avoid overwhelm, and resolve the effects of stress this month. FB- The pressure and demands of the holiday season can be overwhelming for some and a recipe for disaster. Sheryl Eldene MA gives us tips on avoiding the holiday stress and making a recipe for success instead. [More]

We live in a demanding world. We are called to perform at our best at work as well as at home. There is too much to do and the higher up the social statues hierarchy a person is, the more roles and responsibilities he/she has to face. [More]

Doing it well and doing it perfect are not the same. Allowing yourself to not be perfect takes courage, and results in growth you may not expect. [More]

You probably have heard that laughing is good for your health...but just how good is it? You may be surprised. [More]

Stress is a daily reality for most of us. Mindfulness is an effective therapeutic way to help calm yourself and find peace. [More]

Do you remember what life was like before the internet? Before social media? Was it all that bad? Here is a snapshot of Life Unplugged. [More]

Are You in the Zone? For some people, a change of plans, scenery, or life-style is exciting, and welcome. However, for many of us, change comes with some resistance or fear. Stepping out of our comfort zone requires delving into the unknown, risking failure, and being embarrassed. Change Can Be Bad for Your Health In the late 60’s, psychiatrists Thomas Holmes and Richard Rahe examined the link between stressful events and illness. By examining the medical records of 5000 patients, and asking if they had experienced 43 of the most common life stress events, they found a link between the number and weight of stressful events and illness. The Holmes and Rahe Social Readjustment Rating Scales, or more commonly the Holmes and Rahe Stress Scale, lists 43 of the most common life change events that may cause illness, with a weight for stress listed in Life Change Units (LCU). The theory was tested throughout the 70’s and has become widely accepted. Of the 43 life events, the death of a spouse was the most stressful at 100 LCU’s, followed by divorce, marital separation, jail term, death of a close family member, personal injury or illness, marriage, fired from a job, marital reconciliation, retirement, change in health of family, pregnancy, sex difficulties, gain new family member, business readjustment, change in financial state, death of a close friend, trouble with in-laws, spouse begins or stops work, beginning or end of school, change in living conditions, revision of personal habits, trouble with boss, change in work hours, change in residence, change in schools, change in recreation, change in church activities, change in social activities, change in sleeping habits, change in eating habits, vacation, Christmas, and minor violations of the law. The shortfall of the rating scale is that it does not include major stresses that can occur such as violence or abuse in the home. It also does not account for everyday stress such as traffic, interactions with strangers, etc. Another thing to consider is that different life events have differing effects on individuals. One person’s stress may be another person’s fun. It does, however, give an idea of the amount of stress that certain life events can have on an individual in a year, to determine if stress could cause future illness. Additional studies confirm that when stress is measured holistically, the damage it can cause to health is significant. [i] How We Deal with Change Changes in our lives cause a loss of routine, or normalcy. For some people, in some situations, this loss requires a grieving process. The most commonly acknowledged Kubler-Ross Model of Grief states that there are five observed stages we normally go through when we face significant changes to our life. These categories will vary in time, and consistency. We may experience them in different order, and go back and forth from one to the next, or skip one completely. Denial is the first stage in the model. Upon significant change, we lack information, and have fear of the unknown or failure. We think things such as, “this can’t be happening to me.” At this stage, we may act as though nothing is wrong or our actions may show life as usual. Anger is the next stage. In this stage, we blame things or people outside ourselves, or ask “why is this happening to me?” The bargaining stage is when we get actively involved in the situation. We look for a way out of the situation, or for solutions to the situation. We look for a way to take things back to normal. Depression sets in when we realize that we cannot change the situation. Acceptance finally occurs when we have come to terms with the situation, and can be hopeful that we can change, or can move forward and face the outcome. The new change becomes exciting. Although these were observations by Kubler-Ross of patients that were dying, and what they went through in that process, many have used this model as a tool to understand the process of grieving. Each person will go through changes and grief differently based on their own circumstances. The point to the observations is that we tend to deal with significant changes in many of the same ways as others, and that the way we respond is often normal. Getting help Research has found that the best healing success comes in the form of emotional coping strategies gained through a therapist, and that avoidance is the worst thing for healing.[ii] In order to reduce the risk of illness and make the transitions in our lives go more smoothly, counseling can be integrated into the healing process. A therapist can help identify what risk may be associated with the stress of change, how much and how long we have been under stress, and if we are at risk of health problems. For more about traumatic stress, read this. [i] Stress and Health: Major Findings and Policy Implications Peggy A. Thoits Journal of Health and Social Behavior Vol. 51, Extra Issue: What Do We Know? Key Findings from 50 Years of Medical Sociology (2010), pp. S41-S53 Published by: American Sociological Association Stable URL: http://www.jstor.org/stable/20798315 [ii] Worden, J. W. (2009). Grief counseling and grief therapy: A handbook for the mental health practitioner (p. 66). New York, NY: Springer Pub. Co.

Those Catchy Emotions: It is Friday, and we are excited for the weekend. That is, until we run across that one person who can always find the dark cloud on a sunny day. No matter how determined we are to try to avoid them, it seems that something about them just zaps our excitement, and makes us feel grumpy or sad. How is it that our moods seem to be contagious, and we take on the emotions of those around us? It is not just your imagination. There has been research that proves that negative, and positive, attitudes are catchy.[1] Elaine Hatfield and Richard Rapson from the University of Hawaii suggested years ago that emotional mimicry had 3 stages of effect on our emotions. The first stage happens when, as people communicate, they continually mimic the facial expressions, postures, and other behaviors of the person with whom they are communicating. The second stage is that people have an emotional experience based on their own facial muscles and other movement that is being mimicked. The third stage is that by experiencing the first 2 stages, people “catch” the emotions of another person.[2] We pick up the subtle facial expressions, body language, and other cues, and mimic them. This explains the impulse that happens when we see someone yawn. We can’t help but yawn too. Our body and mind associate the feeling from the change in muscle with the emotion that we have when we experience those muscle changes ourselves, and our emotions follow along with the physical changes we mimic from others. But, Wait, There’s More A more recent study goes a step further by associating a risk factor for depression being contagious when a major life transition is involved. [3] The study conducted at the University of Notre Dame followed 103 random pairs of college freshmen roommates. Freshmen whose roommates had high cognitive vulnerability were more likely to take on their roommate’s cognitive style and develop similar vulnerabilities. On the other hand, the students who were paired with low vulnerability roommates actually decreased their cognitive vulnerability. Those in the study who showed an increase in cognitive vulnerability in the first 3 months of the study had almost twice the symptoms of depression at the 6 month period than the other group. [4] Cognitive vulnerability is a measure for assessing risk of depressive symptoms. Someone with a high vulnerability will perceive negative events as persistent over time, they think it will affect many areas of their life, think that it will lead to other negative consequences, and they also think that the negative event implies that there is something wrong with them.[5] This way of viewing negative events increases the likely outcome of depression. The Notre Dame study confirms that our cognitive vulnerability can change with relationship to our social context. If we place ourselves around positive people, we will find ourselves better equipped to fight off depressive symptoms than if we place ourselves around those who are not as capable of dealing with depression. Another study on the resilience of cognitive vulnerability to depression asserts that if an intervention takes place before cognitive vulnerability develops, or after it develops, but before depression, resilience is highly likely.[6] In order to protect ourselves from the effects of being subjected to constant negativity, we can equip ourselves with the tools for resilience. Realizing that we can be effected by others negative emotions, is likely enough for many, but counseling can help to avoid being caught up in the negative thinking. Some Good News The good news is that this contagious thinking works both ways. Those who are around someone who is happy, also tend to catch the happiness. So the way to break out of the negative social contagion is to interject the positive. It is not always easy to change another person’s way of thinking, but understanding what causes some of the negative could help facilitate awareness and empathy for them without being influenced by their mood. If we consciously notice when we are mimicking the person to whom we are speaking, we can prevent ourselves from following along, and possibly reverse the effect by smiling when we see that frown. Not only will it prevent your body from assessing the muscle memory with the negative emotion, but you may just be able to turn the other person around by being that constant positive influence in their day. Helping Hands If you have events or people in your life that consistently bring you down, don’t be slow to seek help. The sooner the negative is turned around the less chance there is for depression, or other lasting effects. A therapist can help you by being equipped with the right tools for the situation, and protect your resilience. For more information that doesn’t bring you down, read Don’t Let Discouragement Discourage You. [1] British Medical Journal (2008, December 4). Dynamic spread of happiness in a large social network: longitudinal analysis over 20 years in the Framingham Heart Study. Retrieved from http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2600606/ [2] Hatfield, E., & Rapson, R. (n.d.). Emotional Contagion and the Communication of Emotion. Progress in Communication Sciences, 14, 73-89. Retrieved from http://www.elainehatfield.com/ch58.pdf [3] Association for Psychological Science (2013, April 18). Risk Factor for Depression Can Be ‘Contagious’. Retrieved from http://www.psychologicalscience.org/index.php/news/releases/risk-factor-for-depression-can-be-contagious.html [4] Ibid. [5] Haeffel, G. J., & Et al (2008). Measuring Cognitive Vulnerability to Depression: Development and Validation of the Cognitive Style Questionnaire. Science Direct Clinical Psychology Review, 28, 824-836. [6] Haeffel, G. J., & Grigorenko, E. L. (2007). Cognitive Vulnerability to Depression: Exploring Risk and Resilience. Child and Adolescent Pschiatric Clinics of North America, 16, 435-448.

You walked the stage on the day of your high school graduation. But will you do it this time around? Though many bright-eyed university students walk onto campus filled with hopes dreams, not all of them leave with a degree. The university dropout rate is 16% in Canada.[1] In the United States, the situation is even worse: a mere 53% of American students actually walk the stage.[2] There are many challenges that make university life difficult, as outlined in Back to School Series: Are you Ready? Unfortunately for some, the academic challenges of university education simply become too overwhelming. Manage Your Time to Manage Your Stress A major obstacle to high scholastic achievement is poor time management. Personally, this was a lesson I had to learn firsthand during my first final exam. I had paid attention in lectures and done most of the readings, but I had not sufficiently prepared myself in the weeks and months leading up to the exam. So, at 1am on the eve of my assessment, I called my parents only to sob on the other end in utter fear of failing. I hardly slept that night. The next day, I dragged myself out of bed and walked down to the examination hall with one eye twitching from lack of sleep. I sat down in a room with hundreds of worried students, and then hurriedly scribbled my answer to the first question. Those three hours were grueling, and all I could think was: “I wish I had studied harder.” Thankfully, I decided that I did not enjoy the end result of my deliberate procrastination. Poor time management had made me into a tired, grumpy, and malfunctioning zombie with hazy thoughts and poor retention skills. After that stressful episode, I turned for help by setting up an appointment with an academic counselor. I also attended a variety of free sessions on how to time manage, study effectively, and manage stress. Combined, they improved my study habits in a way that was tailored to my personality, including my strengths and weaknesses as a student. Thankfully, you do not have to subject yourself to the same level of anxiety and stress that I experienced. Procrastination: The Road to Anxiety According to Palmer and Puri, there is a relationship between the passing of time and your level of stress or anxiety.[3] The closer you are to a deadline for an assignment or the day of an exam, the more likely you are to feel stressed. It follows that the earlier you begin working on an assignment or studying for an exam, the less stressed you will feel and the better you will be able to focus. As soon as you get your course syllabus, draft a study plan that covers all of the readings, assignments, and exams that you will have during the upcoming academic year. Academic Counseling Even better, revise your study plan with an academic counselor – and do not procrastinate on this one. He or she likely has a good understanding of which courses will be more demanding. This can help you achieve a balanced work distribution. Your academic counselor can also help you understand how to study for each course. For instance, a course in history will likely require a heavy amount of readings, while a course in mathematics will probably involve a great deal of practical exercises. These different focuses require different study skills. If you understand what is expected of you, you will also know how to balance your study time and free time. But if you procrastinate, you will probably end up having loads of free time for months and then a combination of stress headaches, cold sweats, and stressful all-nighters at the library - not a great way to end the year. Eat a Frog for Breakfast One of the best words of wisdom I received from my academic counselor was to “eat a frog for breakfast.” The meaning of this saying is twofold. Firstly, do not procrastinate your most challenging work; do your most difficult studying first and then turn your focus to easier tasks or courses. Secondly, work hard and then enjoy your free time – not the other way around. You can only be productive if you eliminate distractions, as argued by Forsyth.[4] To perform well, you need to focus. And this will likely involve studying in an environment – be it a library, a café, a park, among others – where you are not distracted by your fun and gregarious roommate, where you won’t waste your time watching the latest episode of your favourite TV show, and where you won’t be tempted to throw everything aside for a night out with your friends. Learn what your distractions are, as well as when to avoid them and when to enjoy them. Perfectionism Isn’t Perfect Another tendency for some students is to try to do everything perfectly. But this can also become an obstacle to proper time management.[5] Ask your professor or teaching assistant what you need to do to achieve high marks on your exam or assignment. You do not need to read every word of Plato’s The Republic if there will only be one question on the topic. You also do not need to discover the cure for cancer prior to your biology exam. Be reasonable with the amount of time that you devote to each assignment or to studying. You will then discover that you can actually enjoy your Friday night off. Your professors do not expect you to become the next Shakespeare or the next Einstein. You can aim high without going overboard. Time is Not Your Enemy University can be a challenging phase for many students. But you do not need to let poor time management get in the way of a brilliant academic career. Manage your time, and you will find the time to both succeed academically and delight in all the excitement of university life. And if you’re not sure how to plan your studying, then take the time to meet your academic counselor. [1] Postsecondary Status of Young Adults. 2005. Statistics Canada. [online] Available at: <http://www.statcan.gc.ca/pub/81-595-m/2008070/t/6000011-eng.htm> [2] Porter, E. 2013. Dropping out of college, and paying the price. The New York Times. [online] Available at: <http://www.nytimes.com/2013/06/26/business/economy/dropping-out-of-college-and-paying-the-price.html?pagewanted=all&_r=0> [3] Palmer, S., and Puri, A. 2006. Coping with Stress at University: A Survival Guide. London: SAGE Publications. [4] Forsyth, P. 2013. Successful Time Management. London: Kogan. [5] Ibid.