Anger Management and Counseling in Castro Valley, CA.

Anger can often feel so overwhelming that it causes you to do things you later regret. Not knowing what came over you, there are many unanswered questions: why do I keep doing this? why can't I stop myself? Sometimes, alcohol, substances, or other addictive behaviours lead to this anger, making it more difficult to control. As an addiction counsellor, I help clients overcome addictions leading to anger issues so they can regain a sense of control, rebuild relationships, and gain clarity about how to move forward. If you are unsure where to start, send me a message and I can help. If I'm not the right fit, I can connect you to the right support so you can start gaining back control, today.

One of the most misunderstood aspects of chronic anger is that it is actually a secondary emotion. Underneath chronic anger is pain from a core wound such as abandonment trauma or childhood sexual trauma. I will guide you to identify your core wounds and work on healing your inner child while also providing you with tools and outlets to help you control anger reactions with others. You will learn mindfulness practices such as cultivating a relationship with your Higher self and breath work, as well as relationship tools. I will also teach you cutting edge law of attraction techniques that will motivate you to stay on top of angry thoughts and flip them into compassionate thoughts.

Anger has both harmful and healthy/constructive potential depending on how it is dealt with. If you are coming to therapy for anger management, you are probably experiencing anger as interfering with your relationships, your work, or your general wellbeing. Sometimes a propensity towards anger signals that other things may be going on--stress, shame, or other feelings that may be hard to tolerate. In an atmosphere of acceptance and non judgment, we will work with mindfulness to build tolerance for a wider range of feelings, to find ease and to uncover the gems hidden beneath reactive anger.

I believe that there is a difference between anger and rage. Anger is a controllable expression of our emotions. Anger can tell us when we have had our boundaries violated or if we feel something complex and difficult to understand or if we are reminded about something in our past that is triggering us. Anger does not have to result in hurting others. Rage is often out of control and can be very hurtful. Please note: I am not an anger management specialist and if you are seeking court ordered therapy please look for a therapist who specializes in anger management, however I can offer support around how to navigate general anger explorations.

Anger Management = dealing with unexpressed feelings that are buried, such as shame, grief, or fear, in a way that is acceptable to yourself and the world. I have worked with many individuals on anger relief - from perpetrators to people who feel victimized. I help you unearth the root of the anger/pain, and teach you coping tools to improve your life.

Anger is wired into all of us and is essential for survival. It is an intelligent emotion. It can also be incredibly destructive. Most of the time, it is a secondary emotion which means that an unmet need or another emotion is the driving force behind our anger. I will help you to safely identify what is behind your anger and give you tools to effectively regulate it. (I will also help you heal and enhance any relationships previously damaged by your anger.)

My approach to anger management is helping my client see what the underlying feelings, thoughts, and beliefs are that are driving them to act out there feelings through anger, and learn how to drop beneath the anger to the fear and/or pain that always underlies anger. Through doing this we can learn to express our vulnerability and share our feelings in a safe and healthy manner.

Anger is not, in itself, a dangerous or negative thing. Anger, like all emotions has a purpose that usually speaks to something that feels unfair or unjust and/or the frustration of blocked needs/desires. But when anger gets out of hand, when we can't control it, it can be emotionally debilitating and can ruin our relationships, our piece of mind, even our livelihoods. The damage isn't just limited to the individual challenged with anger either. The fear, sadness, and anger it creates for those we love has a destruction path all its own. Luckily, therapy can help you to manage this potentially damaging emotion, so that you can reduce the destruction anger can create.

Grey Matters International and the work of Kevin J. Fleming, Ph.D approaches issues of anger management in a very humane yet fresh perspective. You see, anger is a normal emotion but it is the valence (intensity) as well as the coupling choice of what one does with this that is the problem. Telling someone to "not" do it or modifying behavior with a trite psychological plan that only breeds a compliant response is not the way to change anger. Brainwave optimization is a new cutting edge technology that allows one to rewire circuitry responsible for reactivity driving the anger. Contact Grey Matters International, Inc now at kevin@kevinflemingphd.com or 877-606-6161.