Great Couples Counseling in Castro Valley, CA. Therapy to heal relationships.

I have traveled the country to train with couples therapist Terry Real and the Relational Life Therapy method to working with couples and find great fulfillment helping couples to become more relational. I will help you to learn about the losing and winning strategies in relationship and what help you to develop a more cherishing and authentic relationship. Although change is not always comfortable, our work together will greatly enhance your ability to intimate - which is your birthright.

Couples struggling with repeated conflict, emotional injuries, and feelings of loneliness will find solace and rejuvenation in the therapy process. My approach to couples counseling is centered on healing attachment wounds and fostering a deeper connection between partners. By creating a compassionate and non-judgmental space, I guide couples in uncovering the underlying emotions that have led to the disconnection. Together, we will work to develop effective communication skills, rebuild trust, and cultivate empathy. You will experience relief from past hurts and discover new pathways to improved relational functioning, leading to a more satisfying and harmonious partnership.

Without conflict, couples do not achieve intimacy. The challenge is helping you and your partner learn how to have healthy conflict that leads to intimacy, rather than destructive conflict that destroys the relationship. I specialize in working with affairs and broken trust, abgtneuro-diverse couples. I usually start with helping you learn ground rules for being able to have safe, constructive, healthy conflict to reduce and eliminate destructive relational patterns. I also use Emotion Focused Therapy (EFT) to help you reconnect, learn healthy communication skills, rekindle the flame that you once had, and start talking to each other again. If you are willing to work, I am here for you

I help couples move their relationship forward through difficult times, into a place of support, love, and mutual understanding. As a psychologist with over a decade of experience working with couples, I have built up considerable respect for the concept of multiple points of view. The benefit of couples therapy is that you have a therapist who is on your relationship's side. Too often what one partner intends to convey, is not how it is received by the other. I am particularly skilled at helping partners phrase and ask for things in ways that the other person can hear and digest. I am happy to speak with you over the phone for a free initial consultation. Give me a call today!

Are you trapped in destructive cycles of anger and blame? Have you lost trust because of an affair? Are you avoiding your partner or feeling disengaged? Is it hard for you to have real conversations or solve problems together? I will help you untangle your painful negative cycles of communication and build new stronger connections. You can learn to have power over that cycle by learning your triggers and undoing them. You will learn about the roots of the cycle learned in early relationships. Call, text or email me to set an appointment.

One of my favorite subspecialties is working with couples. This comes out of my own experience of having been happily married for 35 years, and knowing that relationships are the crucible of transformation. Nothing in my life has returned more reward and more wisdom than the process of struggling along with my wife to figure out how to be in relationship with another human being. Relationships involve merging, separating, leading, following, and getting into a state of attunement. Most of us were not born knowing how to do these things. Couples therapy becomes an exciting exploration of these spiritual skills. After abandoning blame and shame we can actually be very happy together!

Intimate partnerships provide miraculous opportunities to heal and grow. In couples therapy I create a safe space to build deep and lasting transformation with improved communication and mutual empathy. My approach is integrative and includes Emotionally Focused Therapy, Somatic Experiencing, Internal Family Systems, attachment theory modalities, sex therapy, and intuition. I am direct, compassionate, poly/ENM friendly, queer allied, and sex-worker allied. All are welcome here!

I provide couples counseling which can be beneficial whether you are married or in a long term partnership. Therapy can be helpful for all couples to open up communication, gain mutual understanding and have a safe place to be vulnerable. Engaging in couples therapy can valuable whether there is a specific issue needing focus or just the desire to gain better communication. I look forward to supporting through with this process.

Are you trapped in a cycle of relentless arguments, grappling with trust issues, communication breakdowns, or a lack of emotional intimacy that feels like you are just roommates? Amid life's demands, couples often feel overwhelmed, losing sight of the deep connection that initially brought them together. The Gottman Method, grounded in decades of research, is highly effective in helping couples achieve lasting positive change. I offer a complimentary 15-minute consultation for you to get to know me and ask any questions. With over a decade as a tenured professor in the counseling field, I bring a wealth of experience and a enthusiastic about applying these insights with you.

Many of the couples I see come to me for the following reasons: they have become more like roommates rather than a romantic couple, inability to trust one another, jealousy in the relationship, unfulfilling sexual or emotional intimacy, intense yelling and arguing, general dissatisfaction, an episode of infidelity, navigating divorce or separation. It can feel both hopeful and scary for couples to explore these issues in their relationship. Our work will explore why your relationship is exhibiting its pattern, give you tips and strategies to abate and extinguish unhealthy cycles, and achieve and maintain the relationship you want.

My work with couples is developmental and focuses on self-confrontation, differentiation, and collaboration. Individuals in the partnerships that I work with take responsibility for their own mental health and happiness and learn to grow themselves up in a way that brings goodness and intimacy to their relationship. I can help them overcome gridlock and sexual challenges to strengthen the relationship and reignite desire.

There are countless models of healthy romantic relationships, from monogamous to polyamorous, and unique variations between partners. The scripts for dating and longterm relationships of our parents’ generations may not be applicable to your relationship, and there is no formal education in how to be a good partner or how to identify unhealthy relationships. But there is psychological research that shows that effective communication, emotional openness, intimacy, and other factors contribute to healthy relationships. Creating these conditions are skills that can be learned. I practice brief humanistic and emotion-focused therapy (EFT) to help my LGBTQ and hetero clients learn these skills.

What are the most common couples' issues? If you are thinking "communication, conflict, sex, money, child rearing" you are correct. However, most therapists will go after the symptom on each side of the couple fence thinking that the way to effective change is by getting each party to "work" on their respective "issue". Many times the parties dont agree but comply. Imagine if you could align the unconscious brains of a couple and stop the "working on your issues" part that has become so popular in therapy settings? Contact kevin@kevinflemingphd.com to learn how! Or call 877-606-6161 DR. FLEMING'S NEW RELATIONSHIP/COUPLES INTENSIVES www.kevinflemingphd.com/marriage-couples-retreats.php

What are the most common couples' issues? If you are thinking "communication, conflict, sex, money, child rearing" you are correct. However, most therapists will go after the symptom on each side of the couple fence thinking that the way to effective change is by getting each party to "work" on their respective "issue". Many times the parties don’t agree but comply. Imagine if you could align the unconscious brains of a couple and stop the "working on your issues" part that has become so popular in therapy settings? Contact kevin@kevinflemingphd.com to learn how! Or call 877-606-6161. DR. FLEMING'S NEW RELATIONSHIP/COUPLES INTENSIVES. www.kevinflemingphd.com/marriage-couples-retreats.php

It really hurts when the person you love is focused on "being right", rather than really getting you! Does your relationship create a deep pain or numbness in your heart? When we start to believe that our LEGITIMATE needs for connection will not be adequately met with our partner, it is easy to focus on our personal needs (at the expense of our partner's). A NORMAL human response to this is: nagging, petty repetitive fights, silent-treatments, numbing out, outbursts, being condescending, focusing on being right (rather than really listening). Using EFT, I FOCUS ON SHIFTING THE CULTURE OF YOUR RELATIONSHIP from its current negative painful cycles into being a safe place for both of you.

When we open our hearts and allow someone in, we have the opportunity to build relationships that will bring us comfort and joy. When those relationships are struggling it effects us more than other relationships in our life. In couples therapy, we will work together to open the lines of communication, better understand our partners needs and their interpretations of behaviors and try to close the gap between intentional and unintentional communication. Ideally couples counseling will bring two people that want to be together closer and gain a deeper understanding of their partner and their needs.

Couples counseling is helpful when two individuals want to deepen their connection (even when things in their relationship are "fine") as well as to help resolve conflicts that have not been addressed or have not been successfully addressed in the past. Top concerns usally involve money, parenting, sex, and in-laws. Improving general communication and one's ability to manage their feelings help to resolve the issues above with love, respect, and efficiency.

Let me guess. One partner feels alone and like they don't matter and the other feels they are always being criticized and can't get anything right. The more one asks for the other to show up, the more the partner disappears physically and emotionally. You both bicker and fight and the idea of sitting and just hanging out seems elusive, if not impossible. Something like this? Often we crave connection but are blocked by the pain and the history that gets in the way. Small fights about little things become battles that highlight our struggle to have our basic relational needs met. I can help you get under the bickering to the parts crying out for connection- to an enriching relationship.

Being in a relationship can be like the sun after a two-week downpour of rain, but it can also be like falling into a rosebush, something that looked pretty at first, but stuck you with a thousand thorns as you fell into it. Couples therapy can help you sort out the sticky mess of intimacy so that you can better roll with the punches, talk through problems, and enjoy all those amazing moments together in-between.

Discover how you can go from rejected to connected! Did you know the reactivity you experience is not your fault? (This is one of the main things that causes fights and arguments. It's when you feel out of control, & it leads to doing or saying things you regret, impulsivity, & leads to hurt & separation). I show couples how they can reduce the personal & relational reactivity they experience & increase feeling peaceful, calm, understood, validated, safe, accepted, & connected. I help couples discover their attachment strategies (how we feel safe & get our needs met). This is necessary in order to create lasting improvement, safety, trust, understanding, & connection, in your relationship.

FRUSTRATED ABOUT YOUR RELATIONSHIPS? Stressed out about what to do next? Are you considering breakup or divorce but really want to give it a last chance? Would you like to take one more look before making any permanent decision? I can help you gain clarity, confidence in your decision making in regards to a very important matter in your life through a brief and focused counseling process.

Do you and your loved one seem to be moving farther and father apart? Do you notice that you are arguing more, feeling more distant, or feeling cut off completely from this person that you had once found so much joy in? The relationship with a significant other is one of the most profound that you will ever experience. It is responsible for keeping us centered emotionally in stressful times, and it is responsible for helping us to feel joy and connection in the world. Learn to communicate with your partner and how to get your needs met and figure out the primary needs of your partner. Rebuild trust and friendship and learn skills and tools to avoid the biggest relationship killers!

I focus on authenticity in my practice, and for me this is especially helpful when it comes to couples work. That most problems in relationships come from people being afraid to fully reveal themselves to their partners, for fear they won't be fully accepted and loved. And that by working on open and honest communication tools, and how to really share the depth of their beings with each other, we can create relationships of real intimacy that are healthy and nourishing.

Are disagreements, lack of intimacy, or communication breakdowns impacting your relationship? I provide a supportive space for men to navigate challenges and build a stronger, more fulfilling connection with their partner. Benefits for Men: Improved Communication: Learn practical strategies to express your needs and concerns effectively, and truly understand your partner's perspective. Move beyond arguing to productive dialogue. Reduced Conflict: Develop skills to navigate disagreements constructively, addressing the root causes rather than getting stuck in repetitive cycles. Gain tools for healthy conflict resolution.

I focus on fostering open communication and mutual understanding between partners. I create a safe, non-judgmental space where both individuals can express their feelings and concerns honestly. By utilizing evidence-based techniques such IFS, I help couples identify and address underlying issues, improve their communication skills, and rebuild trust. My goal is to guide couples toward a deeper emotional connection and more effective problem-solving strategies, empowering them to strengthen their relationship and navigate challenges together.