Great Couples Counseling in Union City, CA. Therapy to heal relationships.

Would you like to create a more loving, fulfilling relationship as a couple? Couple's counseling is a great way to invest in your relationship and get to know yourself and your partner more deeply. I use a strengths-based approach with couples, looking at what drew you together, what is working well in your relationship and how you can leverage your loving feelings to create a strong, lasting relationship.

I have traveled the country to train with couples therapist Terry Real and the Relational Life Therapy method to working with couples and find great fulfillment helping couples to become more relational. I will help you to learn about the losing and winning strategies in relationship and what help you to develop a more cherishing and authentic relationship. Although change is not always comfortable, our work together will greatly enhance your ability to intimate - which is your birthright.

Intimate partnerships provide miraculous opportunities to heal and grow. In couples therapy I create a safe space to build deep and lasting transformation with improved communication and mutual empathy. My approach is integrative and includes Emotionally Focused Therapy, Somatic Experiencing, Internal Family Systems, attachment theory modalities, sex therapy, and intuition. I am direct, compassionate, poly/ENM friendly, queer allied, and sex-worker allied. All are welcome here!

Why do we seem to have the same arguments over and over again? How do I know if we are really supposed to be together? Are there things we could be doing to better support each other, to help each other grow and be our best selves? If we really love each other, why do we so often hurt each other? How do I know if this is real love, anyway? Relationships are hard. Even more than desire, they require effort and understanding to make them work. Often, even if two people really love each other, one or both may need help to maintain the right effort or understanding to keep the balance necessary for long-term success. Having outside, objective support can make all the difference.

Discover how you can go from rejected to connected! Did you know the reactivity you experience is not your fault? (This is one of the main things that causes fights and arguments. It's when you feel out of control, & it leads to doing or saying things you regret, impulsivity, & leads to hurt & separation). I show couples how they can reduce the personal & relational reactivity they experience & increase feeling peaceful, calm, understood, validated, safe, accepted, & connected. I help couples discover their attachment strategies (how we feel safe & get our needs met). This is necessary in order to create lasting improvement, safety, trust, understanding, & connection, in your relationship.

I focus on fostering open communication and mutual understanding between partners. I create a safe, non-judgmental space where both individuals can express their feelings and concerns honestly. By utilizing evidence-based techniques such IFS, I help couples identify and address underlying issues, improve their communication skills, and rebuild trust. My goal is to guide couples toward a deeper emotional connection and more effective problem-solving strategies, empowering them to strengthen their relationship and navigate challenges together.

It really hurts when the person you love is focused on "being right", rather than really getting you! Does your relationship create a deep pain or numbness in your heart? When we start to believe that our LEGITIMATE needs for connection will not be adequately met with our partner, it is easy to focus on our personal needs (at the expense of our partner's). A NORMAL human response to this is: nagging, petty repetitive fights, silent-treatments, numbing out, outbursts, being condescending, focusing on being right (rather than really listening). Using EFT, I FOCUS ON SHIFTING THE CULTURE OF YOUR RELATIONSHIP from its current negative painful cycles into being a safe place for both of you.

I work with couples to repair and rebuild their relationships. My practice focuses on providing couples with the tools they need to create a healthier and more connected relationship. I believe in an integrative approach that is rooted in evidence-based therapies such as Emotionally Focused Therapy, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, and Psychodynamic Therapy. My goal is to help couples find a deeper understanding of one another and create a more meaningful relationship. I strive to provide a safe, non-judgmental, and respectful environment that encourages honest communication and healing.

One of my favorite subspecialties is working with couples. This comes out of my own experience of having been happily married for 35 years, and knowing that relationships are the crucible of transformation. Nothing in my life has returned more reward and more wisdom than the process of struggling along with my wife to figure out how to be in relationship with another human being. Relationships involve merging, separating, leading, following, and getting into a state of attunement. Most of us were not born knowing how to do these things. Couples therapy becomes an exciting exploration of these spiritual skills. After abandoning blame and shame we can actually be very happy together!

When we open our hearts and allow someone in, we have the opportunity to build relationships that will bring us comfort and joy. When those relationships are struggling it effects us more than other relationships in our life. In couples therapy, we will work together to open the lines of communication, better understand our partners needs and their interpretations of behaviors and try to close the gap between intentional and unintentional communication. Ideally couples counseling will bring two people that want to be together closer and gain a deeper understanding of their partner and their needs.

Are disagreements, lack of intimacy, or communication breakdowns impacting your relationship? I provide a supportive space for men to navigate challenges and build a stronger, more fulfilling connection with their partner. Benefits for Men: Improved Communication: Learn practical strategies to express your needs and concerns effectively, and truly understand your partner's perspective. Move beyond arguing to productive dialogue. Reduced Conflict: Develop skills to navigate disagreements constructively, addressing the root causes rather than getting stuck in repetitive cycles. Gain tools for healthy conflict resolution.

My work with couples is developmental and focuses on self-confrontation, differentiation, and collaboration. Individuals in the partnerships that I work with take responsibility for their own mental health and happiness and learn to grow themselves up in a way that brings goodness and intimacy to their relationship. I can help them overcome gridlock and sexual challenges to strengthen the relationship and reignite desire.

In couple’s therapy with me, you will learn about more effective ways of connecting in order to improve intimacy, relational flow, and overall satisfaction. By better understanding your own as well as your partner’s needs and pain, you will relate in ways that are not damaging to the relationship. I will teach you valuable communication, conflict resolution, and intimacy-building techniques so that you can continue nurturing the love, trust, and respect between you even after completing therapy. Call me with any questions or to schedule an initial appointment.