Great Couples Counseling in Pleasanton, CA. Therapy to heal relationships.

Are you feeling helpless and hopeless about your relationship? Do you often feel frustrated and defeated, opting to withdraw from your partner or emotionally lash out in ways you know are hurtful? Do you wish you could rekindle the passion and romance you used to feel in your relationship when you were dating, but can't seem to find any hope in making it happen? Has having children changed your relationship for the worse. I offer a research based assessment and treatment process that clearly guides couples better ways to express emotion, deal with conflict, and rekindle the love that brought them together. Contact me for a free consultation appointment.

Much of the couples work I do is in understanding the core issues that are causing problems in the relationship. Often things like differences in expectations, problems with communication, issues related to intimacy, and difficulties related to trust and safety can cause a friction. My goal is to help you get to the root of the issue and discover new more effective ways of showing up with your partner. Positive change is possible.

Without conflict, couples do not achieve intimacy. The challenge is helping you and your partner learn how to have healthy conflict that leads to intimacy, rather than destructive conflict that destroys the relationship. While I work with all couples, I specialize in working with neuro-diverse couples. I usually start with helping you learn ground rules for being able to have safe, constructive, healthy conflict to reduce and eliminate destructive relational patterns. I also use Emotion Focused Therapy (EFT) to help you reconnect, learn healthy communication skills, rekindle the flame that you once had, and start talking to each other again. If you are willing to work, I am here for you!

Discover how you can go from rejected to connected! Did you know the reactivity you experience is not your fault? (This is one of the main things that causes fights and arguments. It's when you feel out of control, & it leads to doing or saying things you regret, impulsivity, & leads to hurt & separation). I show couples how they can reduce the personal & relational reactivity they experience & increase feeling peaceful, calm, understood, validated, safe, accepted, & connected. I help couples discover their attachment strategies (how we feel safe & get our needs met). This is necessary in order to create lasting improvement, safety, trust, understanding, & connection, in your relationship.

One of my favorite subspecialties is working with couples. This comes out of my own experience of having been happily married for 35 years, and knowing that relationships are the crucible of transformation. Nothing in my life has returned more reward and more wisdom than the process of struggling along with my wife to figure out how to be in relationship with another human being. Relationships involve merging, separating, leading, following, and getting into a state of attunement. Most of us were not born knowing how to do these things. Couples therapy becomes an exciting exploration of these spiritual skills. After abandoning blame and shame we can actually be very happy together!