Great Couples Counseling in Livermore, CA. Therapy to heal relationships.

I provide couples counseling which can be beneficial whether you are married or in a long term partnership. Therapy can be helpful for all couples to open up communication, gain mutual understanding and have a safe place to be vulnerable. Engaging in couples therapy can valuable whether there is a specific issue needing focus or just the desire to gain better communication. I look forward to supporting through with this process.

One of my favorite subspecialties is working with couples. This comes out of my own experience of having been happily married for 35 years, and knowing that relationships are the crucible of transformation. Nothing in my life has returned more reward and more wisdom than the process of struggling along with my wife to figure out how to be in relationship with another human being. Relationships involve merging, separating, leading, following, and getting into a state of attunement. Most of us were not born knowing how to do these things. Couples therapy becomes an exciting exploration of these spiritual skills. After abandoning blame and shame we can actually be very happy together!

In working with couples, I recommend holding a separate individual session with each partner. That allows me to understand the historical background that each partner brings to the relationship and how that impacts their attitudes and patterns of behavior. That process encourages each partner to honestly identify their perception of the conflict without fear of recrimination from their partner. I can then bring both partners together and help them understand aspects of their relationship that underlie their conflicts. We work together to implement strategies which support the goal of resolving their problems and improving the quality of their communication and their relationship.

Are you feeling helpless and hopeless about your relationship? Do you often feel frustrated and defeated, opting to withdraw from your partner or emotionally lash out in ways you know are hurtful? Do you wish you could rekindle the passion and romance you used to feel in your relationship when you were dating, but can't seem to find any hope in making it happen? Has having children changed your relationship for the worse. I offer a research based assessment and treatment process that clearly guides couples better ways to express emotion, deal with conflict, and rekindle the love that brought them together. Contact me for a free consultation appointment.

What are the most common couples' issues? If you are thinking "communication, conflict, sex, money, child rearing" you are correct. However, most therapists will go after the symptom on each side of the couple fence thinking that the way to effective change is by getting each party to "work" on their respective "issue". Many times the parties don’t agree but comply. Imagine if you could align the unconscious brains of a couple and stop the "working on your issues" part that has become so popular in therapy settings? Contact kevin@kevinflemingphd.com to learn how! Or call 877-606-6161. DR. FLEMING'S NEW RELATIONSHIP/COUPLES INTENSIVES. www.kevinflemingphd.com/marriage-couples-retreats.php

Without conflict, couples do not achieve intimacy. The challenge is helping you and your partner learn how to have healthy conflict that leads to intimacy, rather than destructive conflict that destroys the relationship. While I work with all couples, I specialize in working with neuro-diverse couples. I usually start with helping you learn ground rules for being able to have safe, constructive, healthy conflict to reduce and eliminate destructive relational patterns. I also use Emotion Focused Therapy (EFT) to help you reconnect, learn healthy communication skills, rekindle the flame that you once had, and start talking to each other again. If you are willing to work, I am here for you!

I am certified in Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy which is based on 30 years of research into what works for couples. 90% of couples who go through Emotionally Focused Therapy report an improvement in their relationship. Sometimes it can seem like the same argument happens over and over, even though the topic might seem different. Often partners don't feel that they are understood or heard. I help couples understand, see, and hear their own and their partner's more vulnerable feelings which underlie the stuck pattern of arguments. The closeness you used to have can be regained and is often improved as you understand and know each other better than you ever did before

Why do we seem to have the same arguments over and over again? How do I know if we are really supposed to be together? Are there things we could be doing to better support each other, to help each other grow and be our best selves? If we really love each other, why do we so often hurt each other? How do I know if this is real love, anyway? Relationships are hard. Even more than desire, they require effort and understanding to make them work. Often, even if two people really love each other, one or both may need help to maintain the right effort or understanding to keep the balance necessary for long-term success. Having outside, objective support can make all the difference.

We practice Emotionally Focused Therapy for Couples (EFT). This model believes that we are all hard wired for attachment and connection. We need love and security and how we deal with this vulnerability is what determines how we are in relationships. When love doesn’t work, it hurts, and secure emotional attachment is the cure. We facilitate a couples development of a secure attachment by helping them come together and break the negative patterns of insecurity. After the negative patterns of communication, behavior, and perceptions have identified and broken, we then help the couple to create new emotional experiences that help to replace the old out-dated patterns and solve there problems.

I specialize in working with couples struggling with a wide range of issues. From problems with communication and feeling connected, to parenting, affair recovery and just learning not to take the relationship for granted anymore, therapy can make a big difference. Like any other living thing, a partnership is a dynamic, growing thing that needs attention and to be nurtured and cared for. Couples therapy is an effective way to learn how to identify and express your own needs at the same time hearing, understanding, and meeting your partners needs. I have helped many couples overcome seemingly impossible challenges and go on to build happy, healthy, more satisfying relationships that last!

Tired of the same old arguments? Sad or even scared about the growing disconnect? Want to change but can't seem to stop the same old cycle from happening again and again? Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (EFT) transforms couples in a powerfully and emotionally engaging way , and is now considered one of the best validated couples interventions approach by leading experts all over the country. So often all of our arguments or disconnects have at their core a desire to know, "Are you there for me?" Or, " Do I really matter to you?" EFT addresses the fears that keep us apart and allows us to move close in ways that beautifully work. To learn more please visit my website right now.