Anger Management and Counseling in Livermore, CA.

Angry outbursts usually reflect an autonomic nervous system that is dysregulated from unresolved trauma and accumulated stress response. Not only do I work with you to give you new tools and ways to put a stop sign between the stimulus and your anger reponse, but using the tools of Somatic Experiencing we can actually discharge that fight or flight energy that is backed up behind the dam waiting to explode. This will leave you feeling calm and well regulated in the face of daily stresses and encounters.

Anger is one of our fundamental emotions, part of the basic machinery of our mind and personality. In some ways it is a useful tool that helps to motivate and energize us in seeking fairness and justice in the world around us. But this powerful hold-over from our primal history can also be enormously destructive if we lose control of it. If your anger is slipping out of your control and you find yourself saying or doing things that damage your reputation or your relationships, hurt those around you, or otherwise consistently put you on the outside of society's expectations for behavior, you need help to find tools or strategies to change this and I would be happy to help.

To externalized emotions will reduce anger. Anger held in internally hurts. I will assist you in developing a means to solutions and resolution without you feeling the pain from anger. Working at coping and letting go of highly intense emotions will lead you to emotional freedom with the ultimate goal being emotional wisdom. It is not always what we say to another, but rather how we say it.

Anger is not, in itself, a dangerous or negative thing. Anger, like all emotions has a purpose that usually speaks to something that feels unfair or unjust and/or the frustration of blocked needs/desires. But when anger gets out of hand, when we can't control it, it can be emotionally debilitating and can ruin our relationships, our piece of mind, even our livelihoods. The damage isn't just limited to the individual challenged with anger either. The fear, sadness, and anger it creates for those we love has a destruction path all its own. Luckily, therapy can help you to manage this potentially damaging emotion, so that you can reduce the destruction anger can create.

Anger can feel like an all consuming reaction to something other may have done to you intentionally or unintentionally. However, we always wind up on dealing with the aftermath of our anger when we didn't even feel like we were in control of the situation. If this is happening, we will working on developing anger management strategies. We will identify those common words or behaviors that set us off and try to better understand our anger in the beginning stages. This will allow us to start establishing and using coping strategies that will put us in control. Ideally, these techniques and strategies will help improve our relationships with those that we want to spend time with.

I help clients learn self-regulation tools to manage their regressions. We explore relational histories that have contributed to steady-state regressions and the challenge of managing secondary emotions. Ultimately, my clients are able to find healing from their previously reactive behaviors and more adaptive ways of handling their emotions. The result is better relationships.

Although anger is an emotion that we were all born with, it is also a choice. Jesus said don't be quick to anger and don't sin in your anger, but He never said don't be angry. We all have this emotion - it is only a matter of controlling and taming it. It is a choice. I give my clients tools that help them achieve that goal. Anger is a lot of energy that can be used for good - it's just the matter of knowing how and I help with that.

Anger has a way of arriving faster than thought and leaving regret in its wake: harsh words you can't take back, a tension others have started to walk around. If that's familiar, there's nothing shameful about it, and it can change. In our work, we'll get serious about it out together: what sets it off, what it's defending, and what it might be expressing of deeper feelings. Much of what drives anger sits just out of view, and bringing it into words tends to take the heat out of it. As you come to understand your own reactions, you gain the freedom to choose how you respond. I've guided many people from explosive reactions to real composure, and I'm confident we can do the same. Let's begin!

Anger can feel overwhelming, out of control an this is not a good feeling. Learning how to manage this anger can help you regain a sense of control and confidence within yourself. It can be helpful to understand what might be triggering this anger. The more you can understand yourself and your behaviors, you then will have the ability to change the unwanted reactions that have probably created many negative consequences for you. Together we can work on your anger management goals and I will support you through this process.

Grey Matters International and the work of Kevin J. Fleming, Ph.D approaches issues of anger management in a very humane yet fresh perspective. You see, anger is a normal emotion but it is the valence (intensity) as well as the coupling choice of what one does with this that is the problem. Telling someone to "not" do it or modifying behavior with a trite psychological plan that only breeds a compliant response is not the way to change anger. Brainwave optimization is a new cutting edge technology that allows one to rewire circuitry responsible for reactivity driving the anger. Contact Grey Matters International, Inc now at kevin@kevinflemingphd.com or 877-606-6161.

I do not believe in "anger management". Instead, I believe in being in control of your emotions - including anger. My clients discover how to be in control of their feelings of anger or rage - instead of the anger or rage controlling them. My clients discover how they can feel anger, but then choose more effective and productive ways of expressing themselves - in ways that no longer lead to regret or hurt - but rather in ways they feel proud and good about.