Grief and Loss Counseling in Pleasanton, CA.

I have taught and practiced grief counseling for over 24 years. One thing I observed early on is that people who share their grief with others progress through the stages of grief and get much relief, while those who try to grieve on their own seem to just stay locked into the early stages of suffering for many years. I offer compassionate and loving support through the process. Loving, gentle support can make all the difference.

The experience of grief and loss, while expected at various life stages, can result in physical pain, and the emergence of symptoms that lead to experiencing a slow downward spiral in overall wellbeing, and perhaps desire to withdrawal from personal and professional commitments. Many clients seek compassionate and sensitive guidance to navigate through the ups and downs of any number of losses, ranging from diminishing health, to ending a relationship, or other life transition. Together, clients and I develop a transformative plan to stabilize, heal, gain insight and to enhance their proficiency to improve the strength needed to reconstitute their skills and hopes for today and the future.

Grey Matters International and the work of Kevin J. Fleming, Ph.D approaches issues of grief & loss through the lens of innovation----instead of growing the same neural networks responsible for the pain in weekly therapy sessions, we reset the brain to move forward quicker and efficiently by working on the stuck limbic system so as to empower the person with more success and traction. For no one wants to stay in a grief mode for too long; but when you don’t include the brain in your work with someone, you risk describing the water to them while they drown and calling it success. Contact Grey Matters International, Inc now at kevin@kevinflemingphd.com or 877-606-6161.

Grief and loss is, unfortunately, a normal part of living. There is no single "correct" way to grieve: different cultures and even individuals from the same culture grieve differently. The only consistent feature is that grief takes time. The most effective thing anyone can do for someone grieving is to be there—to listen, to empathize, to walk along with the grief. There is no "fixing" grief. But counseling can help prevent normal grief from developing into major depression or other mental health conditions.

There is no timeline for people to recover from grief. Grief can be complicated, most notably accompanied by depression, or by the person’s level of dependency on the departed. I will guide the patient into the basic foundation of their grief, encourage clients to explore their reaction to grief, their symptoms and their goals. I will attempt to redirect the patient’s goals from inward-directed goals (making themselves feel better) to outward-directed goals (goals related to outside events).I will provide the client with coping mechanisms that reduce feelings of blame and guilt.

Grief and loss is often complicated by a painful, irrational belief that you could have done something different to prevent it. Using EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization Reprocessing), clients can experience relief from the tremendous burden they carry of what they should have/could have/ought to have done differently. Through the processing of thoughts, feelings, sensations, and memories, clients feel a greater sense of relief and acceptance.

When we encounter real tragedy in our lives, few of us have readily available tools for the ongoing pain that accompanies mourning, grieving, and loss. Tapping into authentic moments of grief can help us move beyond the pain and expand our idea of who we are as we grieve, yet doing this alone can be overwhelming and even scary at times. Grief work is critical to healing, and having a compassionate and seasoned guide to support the journey can be the means to feel, grow, learn, and ultimately heal from the grief of loss. Please know that you do not have to suffer alone. Grief can open many old wounds and you so deserve not to have to do this alone. I'm here, I can help, and I care.