Anger Management and Counseling in East Palo Alto, CA.

Anger Management = dealing with unexpressed feelings that are buried, such as shame, grief, or fear, in a way that is acceptable to yourself and the world. I have worked with many individuals on anger relief - from perpetrators to people who feel victimized. I help you unearth the root of the anger/pain, and teach you coping tools to improve your life.

I always say anger is a signal that something is out of balance, and that there is a need that is not being fulfilled. What is under the anger? What is the signal trying to tell you? Let’s work together to see what we can find. I have many tools to support and assist you feel more balanced and more comfortable in your own skin. It takes courage to venture into self-awareness, and I will assist and support you every step of the way.

I help people struggling with anger management by working with them to develop awareness of their anger experience in their body and mind and how it is impacting their body. I help you learn and practice strategies for regulating your body and mind so you do not lose control of the anger. I help you to learn healthy communication of anger, and the development of conflict resolution skills. I support you in exploring issues of transference from past relationships and experiences that may be contributing to your strong feelings of anger in present circumstances and relationships. We create safety, increase positive expression of anger, and reduce or eliminate sources of anger when possible!

A response to life's events falls upon a continuum from neutral to highly-reactive. At times anger, Gandhi called it "Righteous Indignation," is necessary to respond to injustices or inappropriate behaviours. However, uncontrolled, inappropriate anger is destructive to one's self and others. Mindfulness and Metta (Loving Kindness) meditations are excellent tools to deal with anger. Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) also called Tapping, along with skillful use of affirmations can help to cool the fires of anger. The benefits of anger management lead to a regulating of emotions and thus a gaining of peace of mind, positive relationships, career and family security.

If you are grappling with anger that negatively impacts your live, you will find solace and transformation through anger management therapy. My specialized approach emphasizes improved somatic awareness, allowing recognition and understanding of the physical sensations tied to anger. By fostering a better understanding of emotional patterns, you will be guided to uncover the triggers and underlying causes of the anger. Personalized therapy equips you with the confidence and skills to exert emotional control over a wide range of emotions, leading to more harmonious relationships and a more balanced life. This journey is not just about managing anger, but about unlocking a more peaceful self.

Angry outbursts usually reflect an autonomic nervous system that is dysregulated from unresolved trauma and accumulated stress response. Not only do I work with you to give you new tools and ways to put a stop sign between the stimulus and your anger reponse, but using the tools of Somatic Experiencing we can actually discharge that fight or flight energy that is backed up behind the dam waiting to explode. This will leave you feeling calm and well regulated in the face of daily stresses and encounters.

Anger can feel like an all consuming reaction to something other may have done to you intentionally or unintentionally. However, we always wind up on dealing with the aftermath of our anger when we didn't even feel like we were in control of the situation. If this is happening, we will working on developing anger management strategies. We will identify those common words or behaviors that set us off and try to better understand our anger in the beginning stages. This will allow us to start establishing and using coping strategies that will put us in control. Ideally, these techniques and strategies will help improve our relationships with those that we want to spend time with.

Anger has both harmful and healthy/constructive potential depending on how it is dealt with. If you are coming to therapy for anger management, you are probably experiencing anger as interfering with your relationships, your work, or your general wellbeing. Sometimes a propensity towards anger signals that other things may be going on--stress, shame, or other feelings that may be hard to tolerate. In an atmosphere of acceptance and non judgment, we will work with mindfulness to build tolerance for a wider range of feelings, to find ease and to uncover the gems hidden beneath reactive anger.

Grey Matters International and the work of Kevin J. Fleming, Ph.D approaches issues of anger management in a very humane yet fresh perspective. You see, anger is a normal emotion but it is the valence (intensity) as well as the coupling choice of what one does with this that is the problem. Telling someone to "not" do it or modifying behavior with a trite psychological plan that only breeds a compliant response is not the way to change anger. Brainwaive optimization is a new cutting edge technology that allows one to rewire circuitry responsible for reactivity driving the anger. Contact Grey Matters International, Inc now at kevin@kevinflemingphd.com or 877-606-6161

Your anger is an attempt at reclaiming power and control. The problem is that when others feel victimized in some way by your angry outbursts, they naturally become defensive and perhaps angry as well. I can help you find more effective ways of expressing yourself and getting your needs met. Underneath the angry feelings are the vulnerable feelings of fear or hurt. Once these are acknowledged and cared for, either by yourself or another, there is movement towards ease and contentment. I can help you slow down the powerful reactions, and get to the core so that you find your real needs and your abilities to connect healthfully with others.

In anger management sessions with me, you will learn to identify triggers and early warning signs of your anger in order to feel more in control of the experience of this emotion. By better understanding your unique anger process, you will get through this feeling more quickly in the future as well as with more peace and less damage to relationships. I will teach you valuable relaxation, conflict resolution, and relapse prevention skills so that you can stay calmer in triggering situations even after completing therapy. Call me with any questions or to schedule an initial appointment.

If you struggle with anger, therapy can help. Many people find that anger is the easiest emotion for them to access. Maybe under the anger you are hurt, lonely, afraid, jealous, sad or ashamed. Wouldn't it be great to have a whole range of emotions again? I use mindfulness to help you learn to sooth your nervous system and psychodynamic therapy to identify what's behind your anger. If you have experienced difficult or traumatic events that are weighing you down, EMDR therapy can free you up to live and act in the present.

Helping clients overcome anger requires a combination of understanding the root causes of their anger, teaching them coping strategies, and promoting healthier ways of expressing and managing their emotions. I teach clients mindfulness and relaxation techniques to manage intense emotions. Deep breathing, meditation, and progressive muscle relaxation can help reduce anger responses. We work to recognize the physical sensations that accompany anger and how to intervene before anger escalates. Clients work with me on problem-solving strategies to address the situations or triggers that lead to anger. I help them break down problems into manageable steps and brainstorm potential solutions.