Great Couples Counseling in Lancaster, CA. Therapy to heal relationships.

If you've lost your connection with your spouse or partner, it can be hard to feel safe in the world and enjoy your relationship. I use Emotionally Focused Therapy to help you find security, safety, and comfort with your partner. When you focus on your needs and see your partner do the same, the way you interact changes for the better. I help you get underneath the arguing, stonewalling, and self-protection from vulnerability with your partner, so you can really see each other and help each other heal through the problems you face. The problems could be traumas, losses from your own lives, or attachment injuries inflicted on each other. I'd love to help you feel close and safe again!

I work with couples to repair and rebuild their relationships. My practice focuses on providing couples with the tools they need to create a healthier and more connected relationship. I believe in an integrative approach that is rooted in evidence-based therapies such as Emotionally Focused Therapy, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, and Psychodynamic Therapy. My goal is to help couples find a deeper understanding of one another and create a more meaningful relationship. I strive to provide a safe, non-judgmental, and respectful environment that encourages honest communication and healing.

Why do we seem to have the same arguments over and over again? How do I know if we are really supposed to be together? Are there things we could be doing to better support each other, to help each other grow and be our best selves? If we really love each other, why do we so often hurt each other? How do I know if this is real love, anyway? Relationships are hard. Even more than desire, they require effort and understanding to make them work. Often, even if two people really love each other, one or both may need help to maintain the right effort or understanding to keep the balance necessary for long-term success. Having outside, objective support can make all the difference.

Discover how you can go from rejected to connected! Did you know the reactivity you experience is not your fault? (This is one of the main things that causes fights and arguments. It's when you feel out of control, & it leads to doing or saying things you regret, impulsivity, & leads to hurt & separation). I show couples how they can reduce the personal & relational reactivity they experience & increase feeling peaceful, calm, understood, validated, safe, accepted, & connected. I help couples discover their attachment strategies (how we feel safe & get our needs met). This is necessary in order to create lasting improvement, safety, trust, understanding, & connection, in your relationship.

Alexandra is collaborative and integrates mindfulness, somatic therapy, family systems, solution-focused, behavioral therapy, and existential techniques. Alexandra is experienced in working with clients who are neurodivergent, and supporting with sexuality and gender identity, attachments, relationships, trauma, open and consensual non-monogamy, kink, trust and self-esteem, life transitions, depression, anxiety, and stress.

My work with couples is developmental and focuses on self-confrontation, differentiation, and collaboration. Individuals in the partnerships that I work with take responsibility for their own mental health and happiness and learn to grow themselves up in a way that brings goodness and intimacy to their relationship. I can help them overcome gridlock and sexual challenges to strengthen the relationship and reignite desire.